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-   -   Rainbow/Queer Flags/Bumper Stickers--Yes/No? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2023)

Soft*Silver 09-15-2010 04:01 PM

I use to put alot of bumper stickers on my cars when I was more politically active. (I am still active, but not like I use to be.)

I have a very pretty champagne colored buick century with moon roof and leather interiors. I dont want to mess it up by adding bumper sitckers all over it. Back when I had them on my vehicle, I drove an old eddie bauer bronco type SUV. LOVED that car/truck!

My fav sticker was "get a taste of religion...lick a witch"

I didnt put up a gay flag this year because I didnt want to shame the gay community...my gardens and landscaping werent anywhere near finished! Next year I can add a rainbox flag!

my theme in the house is definitely primitive with a horse theme added to it...rainbows dont fit well with it but I would like a few things. I found my sun catchers and discovered the pink triangle one made the trip with me from PA to NY to PA to NH to Ohio...so its going up tomorrow...

but...I am not in OZ. And I have to remember I live by myself, am more fragile body wise than I ever have been and my town's motto is "Campbell....a town of many churches".

Yesterday, some city men came and began the tear down of the abandoned house next door to mine. I am all excited because they are tearing out shrubs and trees for me and they are giving them to me! But, I digress...

as we were talking, they told me theyfound a huge asst of jewelry making supplies in various bins. I expressed interest in them but he said he was giving them to his kids. A serious waste but I understand, and besides, I am getting shrubs and trees. Later that afternoon, he tells me I can have the jewelry supplies and his nose scrunched up...so I asked why he changed his mind...he said the people who lived there were weirdoes...

weirdoes??

yes...and he bent down and pulled off the ground several photos of drag queens showing off their outfits.

oh....heavy sigh....

he said he didnt want his kids playing with anything they might have touched. Who knows what they could catch from them.

Well now...

I started blurting out facts about HIV transmission and Hep transmission and how drag queens are not necessarily gay and that there was a difference between drag queens and female impersonators (and he broke in and said "yeah well there were two of them living here together!") and how they are the least violent of neighbors in neighborhoods and that once someone starts competing, its like any other beauty pageant, alot of money could be made and that alot of them donated to my HIV housing units I ran and helped put on fund raisers for the HIV camp for kids and they actualy said "awwww....that was nice of them!"...

so I made the weirdoes into nice guys....

but that tells me the city I live in is more rainbow phobic than I am used to.

So since I am older, more frail and live alone, I will put up the gay flag but not burn a wedding dress in my front yard....

Sparkle 09-15-2010 04:46 PM

I live in the type of place where one's liberal-ness is de rigueur.
My car has a rainbow sticker cross the back window. I am one among many.
My city is brimming with Queers, or Queer-Allies.

It is *shocking* if we (collective we) see a car or home with obvious right wing stickers/banners/flags; or a person of that persuasion.

I live in a liberal-bubble & I like it.

I can (sometimes) have a whole day where I am oblivious to the injustice & discrimination that is common place in our country.

That benefit helps to get me through the miserable winter. :P

girl_dee 09-15-2010 06:14 PM

Well in one way I am not a flag waver.. Straight folks don't wave straight people flags so I don't feel a need to.. I feel the more we fit in mainstream the more accepted we will be..

In another way I loved having my lil rainbow stripe on the back of my 3rd light to bring visibility to QUEERS!!!!!

Discreet but visible.. yeah thats me!

Nat 09-15-2010 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 191590)
I did something shameful.

I would sometimes drive to the closest major city that had a large queer community (multiple times) with my rainbow sticker on (it was one where you can just peel it off) and took it off when I drove back home to my smaller town.

I work for a Catholic School Board. (which is actually PUBLICLY funded due complicated reasons). I still burn with redness that I actually reached back and peeled it off before I hit my city--my apt. was very close to my school at the time.

There's more shame than that but I wanted to share that feeling of peeling off the sticker--when I had my first queer relationship--so NO ONE would KNOW that I had a female lover.

Thanks for sharing your stories of rainbow/queer stickers or visible signs of being part of the LGBTQI community. :)

I had a shame-peeling-off-rainbow-sticker moment too once. It's a long story, but that feeling really actually instructed me more than anything else about how I wanted to live my life.

torchiegirl 09-15-2010 06:53 PM

if ya like em, stick em, fly em, tie em!

Nat 09-15-2010 06:53 PM

currently I do have the hrc equal sign sticker on my van, but I'm not in love with it. I have had a few lovely "femme" stickers over the years. maybe it's time for a new one. :)

I live in a very strong military town in texas, and I often think about making a sticker that says, "I support ALL our troops" with the "all" being in pride colors. However, I do have a slight fear of getting myself kilt.

I do think it's helpful for others who are more closeted to know they aren't alone.

Julie 09-15-2010 07:09 PM

My first bumper sticker was in 1979 and said DYKE. I was pulled over (with my very butch girlfriend) and was asked by the cop what it meant. Bad place to be pulled over. I said, it stands for Dancing Youth Know Everything. He said, WOW that is great, my daughter is a dancer. I said... (cocky 17 year old I was) as he was letting me go and telling me to have a nice day (no ticket). I said, I am sorry, I lied - It really means, DYKE as in women loving women. He turned bright red and I said, thank you, have a nice day, officer.

I have a new (for me) car now and do not have anything on it. I have an ANGRY LESBIAN sticker I think I will put on.

Like others, I have lived in small towns, even with a large KKK presence. I have always been out and have always confronted the nastiness through kindness. Perhaps why I do the work I do. I love when I am called a nasty dirty name, it gives me the chance to dialog and perhaps educate someone.

ComparedToWhom 09-15-2010 11:39 PM

A few years ago while at a GLBTQQIA meeting I listened to a young person relate an experience where she was in near-crisis internally while coming out, feeling very alone, etc., and one day she happened to see a rainbow flag flying from a house near her school. She said she never knew who lived in the house the entire time she was in school but she somehow felt safer knowing someone who would understand her was nearby. I left the meeting, found the biggest rainbow flag I could on-line, and have had it waving off the front of the house ever since. I've met so many folks because of that flag.:LGBTQFlag:

I added a single sticker to every vehicle I own, including the two-wheeled ones. I have traveled just about every road in the US and Canada (seriously) and have NEVER had a single issue. Well, that's if you don't count the plethora of times I've passed a vehicle on my bike only to have the same vehicle speed back up and nearly run me off the road as all the same-sex occupants energetically waved, saluted, honked, thumbs-up, etc. :cheer:

CTW

Laerkin 09-16-2010 04:55 AM

Living in Virginia, not far from Fort Belvoir, Quantico, and Dahlgren, there have certainly been a number of hate crimes over the years.

During the Presidential election, two Marines assaulted a woman for simply having an Obama sticker on her car.

I had one on my car at the time and it certainly made me a little more aware of the target I had on my bumper in an area that is highly conservative and religious.

After a minor fender bender where I lost my rear bumper (and thus, my stickers), I recently decided to just throw caution to the wind and make a statement, haters be damned.

My license plate is now personalized and advertises to the world that yes, the owner is in fact a queer.

And I added a rainbow sticker (six little kitties) to my rear windshield.

The only time I've had anyone pause is when a few coworkers saw it (straight, conservative ones). But nothing untoward was said.

Like CTW, I mostly get other folks within the community speeding up or slowing down to take a peek at who's in the car and I smile and wave. I'm sure my "out"ness offends some of the people around here, but I think Virginia could use a little more queer.

On a side note, I do feel more pressure to drive respectfully. When I'm out on the country roads or in small town VA, I feel this odd responsibility to not drive like an asshole lest it gives some redneck one more excuse to hate gays. Is that weird?

EnderD_503 09-16-2010 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl (Post 191912)
Well in one way I am not a flag waver.. Straight folks don't wave straight people flags so I don't feel a need to.. I feel the more we fit in mainstream the more accepted we will be..

Partially agree, partially disagree. I don't feel the need to put up a flag/sticker/patch/whatever, either.

I do like that stores/services put them up when they are geared toward the lgbt community or are trained/more aware in dealing with lgbt individuals than the average store.

I disagree on the comment of fitting into the mainstream, though. I've never fit into the mainstream when it comes to just about anything, and for me not putting up a flag has nothing to do with trying to be more mainstream or more accepted, but just that I see no point in it/no desire to do so for myself.

AtLast 09-16-2010 09:52 AM

OK, wondering if we have a bit of difference going on between Butches and Femmes with this (including all gender variations, thereof)? Talking overall, I see a few posts to the contrary, but a trend, too. Seems like (and for obvious reasons), butches may not be inclined to sticker our bumpers!

scootebaby 09-16-2010 10:18 AM

i have an HRC sticker on my front windshield above my sunpass--altho it is somewhat faded....i have never put stickers on my bumpers bc they are hard to get off. on my old car i had a thin rainbow stripe across top of rear window...i have never had any issues with my stickers or with the fact that i am butch....yeah i may get a double take or called sir,but i must be one of the luckiest bitches in the world bc i have never really dealt with much hate regarding my sexuality.

AtLast 09-16-2010 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootebaby (Post 192200)
i have an HRC sticker on my front windshield above my sunpass--altho it is somewhat faded....i have never put stickers on my bumpers bc they are hard to get off. on my old car i had a thin rainbow stripe across top of rear window...i have never had any issues with my stickers or with the fact that i am butch....yeah i may get a double take or called sir,but i must be one of the luckiest bitches in the world bc i have never really dealt with much hate regarding my sexuality.

Yup... lucky. And I am glad this is your experince.

skeeter_01 09-17-2010 08:23 AM


i fly my bumper stickers loud and proud...i've been very lucky though...no one has ever bothered me...
skeet

rainintothesea 10-11-2010 01:27 PM

I do have several stickers on my car... always been a bumper sticker person, I have to admit! Gay-wise, I have the HRC equals sign sticker, one that says "I <3 <3 - I support gay marriage" and a rainbow flag sticker, also. Oh, and it's not specifically gay-related, but I also have one of the old rainbow Apple logo stickers on there, too. The rest of my stickers are political. I think I've gotten more flak from the political stickers than anything else, really... but I have had people spit on my car, take pictures of it and once, someone drew an obscene picture on one of my windows with soap. Charming, right? But it just further cements my personal resolve not to be intimidated into changing the way I express myself.

AtLast 10-11-2010 01:39 PM

Yikes! I recently was threatened physically (and verbally) as a butch woman in a public dog park .... so, hell, bumper stickers were just not involved!

Who knows! There is just a lot of hate out there and although, it is sad, we do need to pay attention to our surroundings. I live in what some would call a queer mecca. Yeah, right! There are always pockets of hatred and people that will do violence.

sylvie 10-21-2010 07:25 AM

i don't drive, therefore no stickers on my car..
and i live in an apartment, therefore no flag on my home..

i do have rainbow items around my home.. i also wear a pride necklace and/or bracelet often.. so if people come into my home, they would see the things i have, as well as my 17 year old son's room (he's openly gay)..

i was gay bashed some years ago, here in my neighbourhood, and these gals tormented me for some time after, cops were involved, it was messy til they finally left me alone.. it's never stopped me from being proud of who i am, however.. i don't have the bumper stickers & visible flags to show the public, but i show my pride in who i am♥

Scorp 10-21-2010 08:15 AM

Nope, I'm actually private and don't advertise...

Unfortunately people pass judgement right away. I usually like for people to get to know me and my personality first. I will then eventually tell them about myself.

Starbuck 12-02-2010 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme (Post 191955)
...Like others, I have lived in small towns, even with a large KKK presence. I have always been out and have always confronted the nastiness through kindness. Perhaps why I do the work I do. I love when I am called a nasty dirty name, it gives me the chance to dialog and perhaps educate someone.


I too am a hot head, how do you find it possible to confront it with kindness??

Starbuck 12-02-2010 11:31 PM

I'm interested, Laerkin, what does your personalized tag say??


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