Originally Posted by Nat
(Post 308920)
I lack skills/practice in the arts of nurturing and/or being nurtured. I used to think it was a personality trait you were born with (ha - nature vs NURTURE), but I'm thinking actually it's a skill that a person can develop. Maybe it comes more naturally to some people than to others, but everybody can improve, right? Not only can people improve on this trait, I believe one can certainly develop this trait. I think observing others that are 'nurturers' and then ~ taking small steps ~ do some simple things that involve the action of nurturing for others. For some it may come easy ~ others not so easy. But, yes, I believe you can improve the act of nurturing AND develop it if it is absent. Saying that, for some people, simply recognizing they don't nurture others or themselves could be the first obstacle to overcome.
So, questions:
What does "nurturing" mean to you?
Nurturing, to me, means to acknowledge, to validate someone's worth as a human being. Without validation can there be much more to do? Nurturing can be as simple as making and maintaining eye contact. At the other end of the continuum it could be verbally and physically expressing acceptance and love. And then there is everything in between. For instance, taking my mother and daughter to dinner and insuring it is a place they like to go is a form of nurturing. Then again looking across the table and saying aloud to them..."I thank God for you every day" is another form of nurturing.
What makes you feel most nurtured?
Engaging me in a deep, meaningful and insightful dialog. It's that easy. Seek to teach me and then let me teach you = nurturing. Ask what I think about things/people/places/ideas. Kiss me when I least expect it (i.e. cooking, cleaning the bathtub...) I also feel nurtured when I am alone. Just me with my thoughts...sort of a meditation. When my apt. is clean, the cats are fat and happy, candles are lit, a coastal breeze is blowing and a glass of chilled pinot grigio in hand how could I not be nurtured?
How would you like best to be nurtured?
I like to be alone (big difference from being lonely) and read, think, write. With others I prefer dinner with good conversation. Of course, there are the other things such as a good hair cut, manicure, blah, blah. However, as time marches on it is not things anymore as it is spending time with people I adore.
In what ways do you like to nurture others? Yourself?
Already addressed the ways I nurture myself. For others, I validate people through eye contact, light touch (if welcomed), and simply giving of my time. Everyone has their story to tell...people want to be heard; not fixed (in most cases). Time and tide wait for no one. Our length of time on this planet is mostly unknown. It is the most valuable gift I can give to anyone. I give time...that is my way of nurturing others.
What situations, books, articles, movies, beliefs, epiphanies etc have helped you become more comfortable with being on the giving and/or receiving end of nurturing?
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