I'm femme... and I love it! I don't care much for make up and heels for the most part, but I guess how I describe it is a "feminine energy".

Which is not to say that I don't love make up and heels, it's just that I usually can't really be bothered with them. Just like I was never really into dolls or the other traditionally girly stuff. But ask my partner, and he'll say I'm femme through and through - even if I am more handy with a toolbox than he is (in some ways)!

I guess I think of labels as useful descriptors. They describe an aspect of me, but it's not the whole of me. And in my book, they are not so rigid as to box me in or define me, and neither should they be.

I believe that a lot of the problem is that people start defining others by their labels and make cages out of them, when really, it should be the other way round. Everyone should have the freedom to define their own meaning of femme, or butch, or trans*, or whatever! Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to identify, as far as I'm concerned.

That's what I think, anyway :)

You know, I always thought if I were to get a tattoo, it would be a care label - something like "hand wash only in warm water. Do not tumble dry". Lol!

I don't think I would actually go through with it, but the thought does amuse me...

{{{{{{{{{{{Wolfy}}}}}}}}} IMO, your GF is a Femme from the top of her head to the tips of her toenails, darlin; there's nothing tweener about her or about her energy--no matter what skills and abilities she has. She's a practical Femme who is good with mechanical things like plumbing. Just like "mechanical skills"--or the lack thereof--doesn't define you as a Butch, it doesn't define her as a Femme.... or me, for that matter, lol... :thumbsup:

EXACTLY. Now you've got it! And hey, I do wear flannel... not only that, it's a men's flannel quilted shirt. I wear it as a jacket. :cheesy:

Yes, yes, yes, Urs, yes! The labels ARE expandable, stretchable, customizable, but only if we choose them for ourselves.

Ohhh does this mean i can have one that says warning i bite if provoked?

Labels to some people are comfort things. i feel femme, therefore i am, however someone who doesn't know me might think something else, hell if i know, i'm so exhausted from working that i have two black eyes! or at east i feel like i do!

I would like to say a thank you to everyone who has posted here sofar :)

sometimes i feel a bit confused and am always looking for others views on things. :seeingstars:

and thank you all for keeping it nice! :cheer:

the more views the better!

:playingcat:


now its time for choccie and then bed!

:eatthebunny::alarm:

Um, you do now :tease:

I think you being you is the way to go!

I do ID as Femme, seriously though, the only time it really is useful is when you decide to start dating again. It can make it easier to find someone if you can find a concise way of saying how you see yourself/who you are looking for. (ie Cowgirl Femme Top searching for Butch Sub..or whatever....)

I used to drive a big truck for work some back in my 20's, they called me Big-Rig Jenny. Short hair, no make up, Levis, white T shirt, leather jacket, leatherman and huge wrench in my back pocket.

Still Femme.

:)

I think it's the different facets a femme can have...either tough...soft...weak or strong...playful or serious...what defines to be a 'true' femme..and to know..when to 'use' which one just in the right moment! http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...es/teasing.gif

pace pace pace :deepthoughts:

must think on this, possibly sleep on this before i reply on your post

Thank you for the time and effort you put into replying, i will reply when i'm not so frazzeled, first week of the quarter is always a cluster****

No pressure felt!

I just have a whirlwind of thoughts that run through my head, sometimes it takes me a few days to sort them out into a coherant order :)

and it goes around and around and around and ohh did i mention around? :hanging:

Dear Kassy,,
I dont know if this will help you in your quest...but here goes. I came out 21 years ago...and back then...it was the 80's and everything had to be PC and femminisim was big with politics and civil rights...so for lesbians...it met..self identification..individualism and be who you are on the inside...be free...I guess you say it was the 60's all over again..but i dont remember the 60's so I cant say for sure. Search inside yourself for your own identity...to me butch or femme is a way of life...it IS who you are...its a description...you may well describe me as a 41 year old female with green eyes, femme and a person of size. Its a part of me not the other way around. I am not a high femme..although I would love to be..just cant afford it!! But I love girly things..i too am a girly girl. love makeup, dresses, pretty things. I love the way a proper butch touches me. I have never been with a man so I can compare. But I have always preferred butch, and I am not attracted to femmes. Although there are femmes who are attracted to other femmes. I think femmes are beautiful and I am comfortable acknowledging that...but just not sexually attracted to them! I think us femmes are special ppl, and I may get slapped on the hand for this next line, but us femmes are like the flower that the bee (butches) are drawn to for their own reasons...we are out best when we are natural and ourselves....

So dont try to fit a mold darling....just be you!!!! you may feel femme one day...so let that out and shine in that femme desire...and the other day you may feel a little on the butch or soft butch side and let that shine as well....what ever you feel is ok...no need to try and shove yourself into a "mold" Just be you!!!!!!!!!!!! and oh fyi.. jeans are the bomb and they have nothing to do w being femme....or not being a femme.

Hope this helped in some small way!!!

I like makeup, I like nail polish, I love my straightener as much as the next person :) I live in jeans and sneakers, I only own three dresses, and one pair of dress heels. Some days I feel really femme (like when the eyeliner is on and the cleavage is oh so THERE.. though hard to avoid it being there too, lol..) and days like today where I'm lounging and my hair is pulled back in a style I'd never wear in public, I feel very un-femme.

Beside my butch however I am femme no doubt, even in jeans and sneakers and the hairstyle I wouldn't wear in public.

I am me, I am comfortable, and I know what I like :blueheels:

I don't really like labels either but I do identify as a femme. I love skirts and pretty shirts and wearing pretty dresses when going to formal occasions. I don't like high heels or anything with heels due to the fear of me falling though I do find them to be rather cute. However, I do wear flats because they're just as cute as heels and I feel safer walking in them. The only make up I wear is mascarra and lip gloss do to me being confident about me looking pretty with just those two and not needing eyeshadow and other things. When it's cold I wear pants with sneakers to keep me warm though I do like my sneakers being girly ones. I do get my nails and toenails done though I sometimes do them myself as well. I like my hair looking pretty, and I wear jewelry. I also like to go shopping and I do like pink though my favorite color is yellow. The pretty and bright yellow, not the pale or barf yellow. All in all I'm a pretty feminine person and I feel like a very feminine person. I just prefer nice skirts and pretty tops to dresses and flip flops and flats to heels.

Wow, I just wrote you guys an essay on why I identify as a femme.

on labels