Butch Femme Planet - VANILLA THREAD Who can initiate sex in your relationship? VANILLA THREAD

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola (Post 522004)

My first r/s was all about great communication and so we both freely initiated.
I'm sad, (embarrassed too) to say that I'm recently out of a r/s where I was always shut down, it really is tough on your self-esteem

I shoulda known the first time she wiped my lipstick off her mouth that I was in the wrong r/s, live and learn, eh?

Oh, did I say I have a healthy sex drive and am totally open to either person and unless i had a fever of umm 106, id never turn you down, LOL

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean? :|
Smooches,
Keri

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1 (Post 522028)

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean? :|
Smooches,
Keri

I think, relationship. I had the same question.

I'm one of those people that can express it without words...

I kiss the neck, run my fingers through the hair, and sigh while stretching, and FEEL it run through my body...if you have any intelligence or thought at all, you know what I want when I run my nipples up your back, and thrust my hips onto any available body part.

I've had lovers that were totally still when I did this, not because they wanted me to stop, but because they wanted more, but couldn't express it, and this bothered me. How could I tell what was pleasing to them, without verbally asking? They thought that to show desire was to show weakness, but when I show my desire, I think of it as a strength. We are all different(YAY) but similar, and all have some fear or baggage. I refuse to hide desire when I feel it for someone special, but will joke about it with a more casual relationship.

Do I want to initiate all the time----HELL to the NO! I want to feel desired, adored, cherished, loved, and even lusted after....and I want hym to feel that too, so I crave the moments when my neck is kissed in just the perfect way, hys voice drops to that growl, and hys hands tell me that it's time.

Verbally? I can say I want you, let's take a nap, or I want you, and not feel any negatives, but I can, and have said "doesn't matter, I brought my vibrator"

I prefer a 50/50, or 60/40, or 70/30, depending on day situation and time....flexibility is hotter, and sexier, than always the same.

Just sayin'....

both should show desire

Either one in any manner chosen.

I'm a light butch and it is equal opportunity in our bedroom. We are both in our 50's now an frankly when the sparks are flying I'm not about to douse them out with a no. :-)

I'm a boi

I love it when someone else initiates sex, or even just kisses me out of the blue. it makes me feel wanted and helps my confidence sometimes.
Also, sometimes I need it because I need to be hit with a 2x4 to figure out whether someone likes me or not.

However, if I am upset I hate it when she tries to initiate sex thinking that is going to cheer me up. It kind of makes me angry and I say no.
I would rather have someone just hug me and spend time with me instead.

I may be an Old School Butch, but I am perfectly ok with not always being responsible for initiating intimate times. Sometimes, being a senior, it may require a 2x4 to get my attention...other times a little kiss on my neck gets my little old motor going.

I am femme and I like the flexibility in my relationships of either partner feeling comfortable enough to engage the other in any intimate endeavor.

It feeds both souls to know that not only are they still desirable and attractive to the other, but that they can give their partner what their partner wants and needs. That they are both the fuel and the fire to their partner. That's hot on a variety of levels.

:fireman:

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1 (Post 522028)

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean? :|
Smooches,
Keri

ohhh I sowwy :| r/s=relationship
My apologies :)

I am butch/genderqueer and I prefer when either partner initiates sex.

I will try to initiate sex when I'm turned on, but I would start to question my desirability and appeal to my partner if I was the one to initiate every time. There isn't much sexier to me than a hot femme showing me how much she wants me. At the same time, I have my moments where I am feeling devilish and scandalous beyond words and want to completely ravage my partner. So, both people initiating just makes sense. :)

I am femme, and I have to say that I need it to be initiated by both partners.
I have a very high sex drive, in a previous relationship, I was the one who had to initiate all the time, and I began to feel resentful because of that. I was told no more often then yes. It begins to feel like you are trying to talk your lover into wanting you. Just not good.

However I do enjoy the initation :) And honestly, if I not in the mood at that second, give me a minute, if my partner is in the mood, I could never deny them affection and some good lovin :)

I am a Butch,9 out of 10 times I initiate sex with strangers.With me and my gf its about 50/50.I usually tell her do you "wanna fuck?" or I press up against her from behind and grab her breasts..or I grab her ass.If i'm behind her and she bends over,oh its on :drool:

If I see cleavage,its on...if I just see her walk through that door,its ON!

If she's in the mood,of course *sigh*

We both do. But more often it's her more then me and I am very okay with that.

I'm a ftm and like to initiate sex but its ok for a partner when in a relationship to also initiate it at times too...

I am femme. I prefer relationships where either partner can initiate (or say no-thank-you) to sex without it being a problem. I do prefer to be with someone who is a little more assertive than I am in initiating but not one who doesn't want me to also initiate. A healthy back and forth is a very good thing in my mind.

I believe both can initiate sex, that's just natural and honest in my opinion.

Deborah