See Walmart "customer" service department: Bored to death complaints. (I guess?)

Other than a few funny lines, some sad stories - this thread is SPOOKY to me.

I do NOT want preservatives pumped into me. That seems insane to me and oh, so non-organic!! (Delaying the natural "process".) And I know how the blood draining is done and the doll dress up stuff. ICK!!! Shudder!

Part of my hospice training was to go into the bowels of a funeral home and see the "goings on". Well, not an actual... the equipment and full explanation.

I want cremated, but am deathly afraid of fires. (Seriously, now folks.) What if I am not dead? And the fire seems MUCH too hot.

So, I would have to have a "quickie" funeral. I think by law without the embalming, for obvious reasons you must "move" quickly with the service - if you are having one. Maybe just a memorial (?)

I did LOVE "Six Feet Under". That was a great show. I am NOT a fan of death and dying though.

Well, on that note: Everyone have a very lovely day. No slipping on the ice! (That is what killed the Atkins Diet guy!) Hmmmm, don't recall that as a death on my Six Feet show - come to think of it.

:rose:

WILDCAT

I am torn too. I recently had to decide so my final wishes could be placed in my will. I chose creation, but I am also very afraid of fires and of still being alive when it happens. I guess creation seems better than embalming fluid?

What about if one is buried then years later a neighborhood is built on the graveyard like in Poltergeist? Eeek.

I know, I am morbid.

No funeral for me, thanks. Just a big ass wake with bagpipes, drinking and pot smoking.....oh and some food. I'm a chef, better be good food.

I have prepaid the Neptune Society to come pick up my corpse after I have died and cremate me. My kids know what to do with the ashes. :)

Bagpipes are wonderful!

I have always wanted someone to sing "I am the Walrus" at my funeral.

I have never heard of the Neptune Society, must look up.

http://www.neptunesociety.com/

If you live in CA, go here: http://www.neptune-society.com/

Bagpipes playing Amazing Grace. :)

:superfunny:
Ha!

I am sorry for your loss unndunn....
Unfortunately every person alive will one day loose someone they love...it is a fact of life. I am sorry you chose to read this thread considering your recent losses. and grief.

Sometimes for some people laughing at death and the rituals of death is a way to accept the realities of the fact that it faces allof us as well as at least in my case if i stop laughing i will curl up in a ball and give up...

In my short lifetime I have buried more friends than I can count....they have quilts on a thing called the AIDS quilt.

In my short lifetime I have buried...3 children...my father, my uncles, my aunts, my cousin..but such is life and death....

We humans are very controlling people..we like to control everything...but we can not control death,,,nor control when it comes...

So I laugh,,i laugh at death square in the face and say...go ahead I am not afraid of you.
I laugh at the insane customs that we practice regarding a body...cause if I did not it would scare me

I laugh and poke fun at funeral directors cause they always have cold hands....and i laugh at the idea of going to walmart and asking for the hereafter section.....

I can see the walmart funeral home....with the walmart greeter passing out little yellow sad faces for you to wear...and saying welcome to walmart have a sad mourning day .....
i can see people heading to the walmart funeral stopping first to pick up a bottle of milke..or check out the new fishing poes...or grab a box of twinkies for the long ride to the cemetary....

I can see kmart trying to compete with walmart and having a blue light special on embalming fluid.........people pusing their carts with a casket in the cart hurrying ot the embalming department....

Am I irreverant..damn right I am...

am I disrespectful of the dead? No, cause every person on this planet that has ever died has been loved by someone...and every person on this planet that has ever lived ..died knowing someone loved them....at one time in their life....and that is the only thing that matters in the greater scheme of things!

:sermon: I need to go to kmart now

*possibly triggery*
 

Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace.

I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter.

With that said, I have been fascinated with the process of life and death since I was a child. I was even taken to the school counselor when I was in the 4th grade because my teacher was having career day and was horrified when I told her I wanted to be a Funeral Director.

That urge has never gone away and I am, for the third time in my life, seriously contemplating going to Mortuary school.

We also have an extensive collection of items related to the human (and animal) death experience. We have a 6-foot oak casket in our garage. Trocar needles used in embalming, urns, toe tags, internment orders, freezer guages, books, magazines, even several human teeth and finger bones. Most people who come to our home have a pretty visceral reaction to seeing this stuff displayed. Many are grossed out. Many are disturbed. Some find it interesting.

Most people assume that I grew up in a funeral home or something because I am so normalized to the death process. I have worked in several hospitals and seen, touched, and handled several dead bodies, including many, many children. I worked in the Cancer unit at a children's hospital here in Arkansas and cared for and tended to the bodies of more children than I can count and until you have cradled the lifeless body of a 6-week-old infant who has died from Leukemia, you dont really grasp the level of love and care that must go into treating people's bodies with respect when they die.
I think that is my biggest draw, the humanity of it. I have witnessed Mothers who wanted to be taken when their children died. I have witnessed children who were glad to be going. I have witnessed people's final words and breaths. Death is a very, very humbling experience.
I, for one, am glad that there are people who are willing to be part of this process. Helping prepare and care for the bodies of those who have gone on.

I have made my wishes known to Jack for when I die. I hope that everyone has a big party with lots of merriment and story-telling. I want to be cremated and I dont care what happens to the ashes. I have had an amazing life thus far. Dont get me wrong, Im not ready to go anywhere just yet because Im having such a great time but if I died tomorrow, I would have accomplished much of what I have wanted to accomplish in this life. I have broken the cycle of physical abuse that has been generationally entrenched in my family. I broke my own cycle of addiction. I have learned to live an authentic life. I have stopped being afraid. I have laughed more in my life than most people can imagine. I have made some amazing friends. I have loved and been loved in return.
There isnt anything more magical than that to me.

I am being burned to a crisp ala crispy critter ( me and my bestie say this), T4T is right, the museum here in Houston is awesome, I think I need to pay a visit soon.

I don't deal well with death but have always been fascinated by the jobs of the funeral home, from the director down to the makeup artist.

There was a show on tv, based in Cali, I can't remember the name but it was a family who ran it and it showed their drama and their feelings in dealing with the business and showed parts of the business that is rarely seen in real life.

fantasy coffins
 

My fantasy is to have one of the amazing hand-carved Ghanian representational coffins.
Perhaps a giant bird or fish.
Actually I'd love to have a bunch of them sitting around the house...!
They are extraordinarily beautiful to me.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4g2wGNGB1s"]YouTube- Ghana Coffins - Ghana[/nomedia]

Drive through wakes. :) at Walmart next to the florals.

I used to want to open a funeral home, bar and grill. :)
rad coffins, really cool piped in music. A gothic room.

Medusa, we have skulls all over the living room! Real animal ones on the mantlepiece.

I want to be creamated and buried at sea. But we will see how things go. :cigar:

Traditional Islamic burial for me, if possible.

Body washed then put in a shroud and buried, if possible, the same day. I'd like to be buried with my wedding ring but need to check if it's allowed. I hope it is. (If it isn't, then I think I'll have it written into my will that I want B. to wear it as a cock ring once I'm gone. Try explaining that to a new lover...ha!)

Words

I just happened to come across this thread when I was feeling extremely raw and had a strong reaction to it. I felt like I needed to say something, and I'm glad that I did because I got some really sweet messages and rep comments. My family is Irish. We don't cry, especially at wakes and funerals; we laugh and remember the good times. Most of the time I can do that. This Christmas just seems to be hitting me hard.

My father had mentioned to us a few months before he died that he didn't want "a bunch of phonies crying crocodile tears over my dead body at a wake" and that he wanted to be cremated, so we had him cremated and then had a funeral mass at the Catholic Church my parents belonged to. (He wasn't referring to family members being "phonies" just old coworkers, etc. that would "show up out of the woodwork"). We had a reception in the church hall afterward with tons of food and drink. Afterward, my mother who was still in shock over dad's death (he died in an accident at home, she found his body) said "I want the exact same thing when I die, but please order a little less food-- we had too many leftovers" lol We teased her for quite a while about that, and it always made her smile. When she died in August of this year we made the plans accordingly and orderd a little less food. It was so like my mother to say that and I still smile when I think of it. Their ashes are here in the house that my father built and that's where they'll stay.

My brothers and I have all talked about what we want when we die. I would like to be cremated, and to be late for my own funeral, since so many people over the years have told me that I would be.

Thanks again for being so understanding,
Unn

I find death so strange. It is not something that is final, but a rebirth. We are just passing thru.

I endured the loss of my younger brother's suicide, the loss of my sister & Godfather from cancer, and the loss of so many from HIV/AIDS. I think of them having a huge party, and just waiting for us to join them. The hard part is for us left behind. We have to find the motive, and joy back in living.

My opinion. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. The viewing of a loved one. The pomp and circumstance during the funeral, the dinners and gatherings that follow are for the family and friends to find closure. The person lying in the casket has no idea what is happening. Its just a body, a shell so to speak. The remains of whom that person was, their soul, their spirit, has moved on.

Each and every person who comes into our lives, be it our friends, those who we briefly meet on our daily routine or the ones that we call family. Our experience with them, good, bad or indifferent makes up a small part of who we are. We share the stories, have a laugh, say "remember when" and cherish the memories..... and that part of them, that touched our lives will always live on.

I have always told my children. Death is a natural bodily function, just like farting. It's going to happen. We cannot stop it and we cannot plan where or when it will happen. Enjoy life to its fullest. Live each day as it were your last. Never go to bed angry and always say "I love you" to those you hold dear to your heart. We are never promised a tomorrow.

Just my .02 cents!

:coffee:

Pixie,

Where did you come up with your last wishes? I think that is wonderful. I do believe that we are born to live and die. Some for a long time, and some for a short time. We each have a mission. Once completed, we move on. It is the ebb and flow of life.

Peace.