Originally Posted by Linus (Post 686337)

I modified it a bit more than what you posted. If you want me to remove the "and talk", let me know and I'll pull it. I don't want people to just rant and rave but rather work through whatever needs to be discussed, hashed, beaten around, chewed, chawed, etc.

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 686337)

I modified it a bit more than what you posted. If you want me to remove the "and talk", let me know and I'll pull it. I don't want people to just rant and rave but rather work through whatever needs to be discussed, hashed, beaten around, chewed, chawed, etc.

And there is one thing I was curious about because I've seen this from both sides: I know there are many femmes who are interested/intrigued/turned on by FTMs and many FTMs who are reciprocal to this (myself included). What I'm curious about are those FTMs who are here in this community (and others like it) and interested in straight-women as opposed to femmes in this community (and others like it)?

Originally Posted by Julien (Post 686402)

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 686412)

Originally Posted by Darbonaire (Post 686389)

I do sincerely apologize for mentioning the other thread. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I am interested in WOMEN....I don't care if they are straight or lesbian femme.....I happen to be in a group in R/T where straight women are what surrounds me...therefore my question about the date thing.

I have no problem telling a women...I guess I wasn't clear as to what I was asking.....IF I find the woman & I getting to a point where things may go further then I shall address the situation. I was more interested in the .."What kind of response have you had from...." have you fu*c*ed them & if so, how did that go as far as there being misunderstandings if any.....that sort of question. Having been married for the last 10 years to a femme I was just curious what the differences are & what other's experiences were.

I do hope this isn't going to turn into a "Why are you here on this site if you're only interested in straight women ..." cause that shit gets REALLY old...especially since I am ON this site because I love FEMMES & their energy.....

Nuff said....all the answers to my question I look forward to....

Originally Posted by Darbonaire (Post 686432)

"Love you long time".....lol.....sounds good to me......just kidding......sort of. I got VERY lucky to be "found" by my ex......I traveled a lot with my former job so I met several ladies who I spent time with. Yeah, now the "close by" situation may be a speed bump along the way but, it's how it is.......

I keep thinking I was "found" once so maybe it will happen again....who knows. I even think sometimes, was I an idiot for letting a divorce happen...but, you can't stay someplace that isn't "right" just because you're afriad you may never find another partner....at least I couldn't.

I'm SO not ready to date right now...I do have friends I can call to meet for coffee or lunch but, as far as anything serious...nope, not yet....still WAY too much healing to do.

I have had straight women hit on me & gay guys....lol....so, I will just stay in the present & take baby steps to heal the heart, & when it's right.....she'll walk in.....I truly believe that.

How's Redondo Beach? I'm from CA originally....sometimes I miss it...well, no I miss my friends....I do miss the more open attitude there though...but, VA is very good to me.

Ok, off to watch the weather.....enjoy the night all !!

Jonathan

Originally Posted by DMW (Post 686234)

Linus, you mentioned school and i thought of a situation that came up and presented itself...a story on a lighter note...
I was in school in an anatomy lab class setting...and for some reason that i cannot recall at the moment in which the details are not really necessary for the gist....
The class needed a person to take their shirt off for ...i believe a telemetry unit with leads needing to be applied to my chest, inorder to measure the heart's electrical activity.
and the girls in the class where comfortable with me and so they were like...come on...
at first they just seemed to think that i would go ahead and offer myself for the position... and then they joked with me... and i wanted to do it...and i felt so badly for them because they didn't understand...after i didn't...i had to come up with some lame excuse of being too shy etc... i also, had to finally say...look my girl wouldn't want me to do show myself to you woman anyway...and that is kinda true too...cause they would flirt and boundaries are important..to protect them and my relationship...it was very uncomfortable for me...
The sad thing is...there were only a few biomales in the class and one was heavy set and i wanted to save him from having to take off his shirt. I think the women just assumed i was going to cause i have the kind of body that is just bland or regular i guess. So, why wouldn't they? and they were probably thinking of the overweight guy also. trying to spare him the embarrassment. ...and the other...pissed me off that he didn't. Who knows...maybe he was trans like me. like us. Eventually, the heavy set guy took his shirt off and i thanked him vociferously and publicly for his bravery. I could tell he didn't want to and he was hesitant...god and his eyes...even he looked at me like bro why not? why can't you help me and just do this for me? I felt so badly about that. God i do now.
I guess it isn't such a light note...i can laugh at myself in the situation now. But, it kinda describes our invisibility.

Oh, see....i have scars from chest surgery that would be needed to be explained...i would be outing myself to the class...right there. and the professor...hot black woman...OMG...and the school. I just wanted to focus on learning...you know? I wouldn't be ashamed to out myself...just not necessary there...like that. We had to learn...not about me being FTM...
Hugh...maybe one day...shirt comes off...oh, he is FTM...ok...continue the cardio lesson

Originally Posted by Linus (Post 686450)

Ya.. Sometimes it's good to take a break and find yourself before letting someone else find you. That's actually very important.

As for Redondo, it's very nice (weather wise) but damned expensive. A house down the street from us just went up for sale.. for a mere $989K. :blink: If I won the lottery...

Originally Posted by Hominid (Post 686493)

I am interested in women, similarly to Darbonaire. I am less interested in how she identifies, outside of respecting it. If she's into me and vice versa, I could care less. I tend to be attracted in real life to straight women - then again, for the most part, those are the only ones I meet. I do have a faint memory of wanting a straight woman earlier in transition - not as a conquest or anything, but I see that then I wanted to be clear I was not "other" - I was male. Now, I think a queer femme or some iteration from the community would save a lot of time and effort - being understood on some fundamental level and not having to "teach".

I have not had to tell anyone that I am trans. I don't want to. I dread it. So I limit my own self when it comes to moving in the real world. I really don't know if I could handle the aftermath (embarrassment). But I am on some main stream dating sites, and after a long description of myself, I reveal that I am trans. I've had some interest from straight women, less from bi women. As far as an actual "meet", I had breakfast with a wonderfully geeky woman the other day and she seems very interested. I have to force myself to reach out to several women a week who interest me. The percentages of responses are dismal at best, but then again, most women are inundated.

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke (Post 686516)

Interesting discussion going on in the sense that it's not something I ever really thought about.

Guess you could say the reasoning being that I didn't truly get how "okay" it would be for me to fully come out about being FTM until I met 'sational/Julie. Since then, well she's my wife so it's not even a question in my mind but this question/thought has got me thinking.

I don't think I could ever date a straight woman. Not being judgemental or saying it's anything they would do wrong but it's purely me. Having gone through the journey I've gone through and still going through, I don't know if I could ever have that understanding from a straight female that I would get from a female that lives within the realm of the rainbow

For me, it's hard enough trying to explain my situation to those around me (mainly family and some friends who ask). They are all straight. Yet I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can come in here, verbally vomit anything out (that has to do with me and transitioning) and 9 out of 10 females would GET IT. Whereas with straight women, not so much.

So I feel like I'd rather be with a woman who can somewhat get me, my frustrations, my joy (at being seen as a male out there), my embarrassments, my everything. That's what I have now with Julie. She gets it because she is gay. She understands that society will never completely so get it. I can come home one day and be upset because of how I was perceived and she gets that totally.

Maybe I'm being judgemental because like I said, I've never really dated a straight woman while in transition so I could be way off base. I just know that, if I were single, I honestly think I'd be way more comfortable dating someone from within the rainbow then outside of it. I just want to make sure that I'm understood. That I'm not looked at with pity or that whole, "boy I gots no idea why she'd do that but if it makes her happy, eh who cares". I have enough family members that do that. Lol.

Anyway, good topic. Thanks for the brain food.


Loves Me Some Brain,
Brute.

Originally Posted by Darbonaire (Post 686522)

which is why I'm back on this site....cause it WILL be "easier" if the woman understands about us. I just find myself in a group of freinds that I love & enjoy & they happen to be straight so......when in Rome....LOL......anyway, it's just something I'm kicking around. Like I said..i am SO not ready yet......have a ways to go to heal yet. I wouldn't do that to ANY woman straight or lesbian.

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke (Post 686532)

I get what you're saying. All of our friends are straight as well. Comes with territory of area we live in but also the gay folks that do live near there really won't have anything to do with us because of the whole FTM/femme status. I guess they think we're "traitors" to our own kind? Lol. Whatever their deal is, we don't worry about it and actually love our straight friends. Only one of them (Julie's best friend) really gets it I think. The rest just kinda get that glazed over look in their eyes then pretend they never heard any of it. Go figure.

When you're ready, you'll know.


Brute.

Originally Posted by Hominid (Post 686556)

I've actually gotten the most flak from vanilla lesbians and butch lesbians - after some conversation, at least with one who was a true enough friend to have it, and with others over time, there was an element of threat/jealousy/something. One friend told me that she wishes she could transition - and I can see it. She's thrilled when someone sees her as male. I can remember, pre-transition, thinking ftms were weak - that it took more strength to be female and masculine, and that I was more masculine as a butch than 99% of the men I knew. Over time (with butches), I tried to recognize their masculinity, and make clear that my male-ness was NOT masculinity in and of itself. Now, they don't "see" me, so it's not an issue in that way. It IS an issue as far as meeting others in the community (another friend and I have compared my position with femme invisibility).