Sex
 

I buy a new friend for my new friend.

Need clarification
 

Can someone clarify what makes someone "icky", "gross", "dirty"?


Do all people in here use dental dams with new sexual partners? What about gloves? Since we're discussing sex let's not just stop at cocks!

Sex
 

Yes I use gloves we have a saying no glove no love. They make a harness that you can snap dental dams into works out great. Since we are discussing this please be aware you can catch things nowdays by kissing. I think its best these days to get to know the person your having sex with and use protection.

From a public health standpoint it is significantly more important to get tested for STD's than to buy a new cock every time you go for a ride with someone new. I care a lot more about someone knowing their status (and mine) than knowing their cock (or mine) is fresh from the shoppe.

Luckily with some education, common sense and a firm grasp on what's cleanable and what's not you can get warm and fuzzy without worrying about hitch hiking pathogens.

I'd go broke replacing toys at the rate of new for every screw and everyone who knows me knows I may lack a filter at times but never class.

Fuck safely and often.

Thank you, Lady Snow. Unsafe sex is a hard limit for me, and I hate waste! Why would a person throw away a perfectly good toy, especially if they've been practicing safe sex? We're all playing safely, aren't we? (she asks in that pointed way.)

Even if you're not practicing safer sex, (sigh), any good silicone toy can and should be boiled between partners, and it will be as fresh as new.

Thoughts
 

Sometimes though, you meet someone and you are sexually attracted and you end up having sex with them, there isn't going to be time to *get to know details* it's just about two people having consentual adult sex.



Should either party go and get new toys just because they started dating someone a week later seriously?

Why are Femme's not expected to get new vaginas?


The problem with the question when it comes to queer cock is:

For some butches.guys.bois.boys.ze's.trans, and femme folk is the cock they have is part of them. Something that is part of who they are and their identity and if someone is safe they should not have to throw away all their toys just because they dated someone new. If it's something that it is talked about and agreed upon and costs are even shared since they are now a couple I understand.

But to have the expectation that someone get a new cock or cocks just because they used them before and have done so safely is to much. Toys are expensive, cocks ain't cheap.


What about those who are kinky?

Does everyone here who is kinky replace each toy they have played with past liasons?


I would think that would get highly expensive..


Let's talk lube. Is your lube replaced with each parnter? Do you use different lube for anal and vaginal sex?

This is a personal call for people, and a discussion between someone and his/her partner. I can understand both opinions/sides.

Some might need to buy new toys because of size/comfort issues.

Some may need to buy new toys because of wear/tear/age.

Some feel better buying new toys in honor of the new relationship, or don't want to keep the old toys because of a bad breakup.

Some insist on replacing toys, especially ones for anal, for safety concerns.

Some won't buy new toys because his/hys cock is personal to him, or his/hys harness was custom-made to fit.

Some won't because of finances.

Some don't feel the need to because they don't see the toys as belonging to an ex they are no longer with, no more than they would get different underwear, sheets or bedding after breaking up with someone.

Some don't feel the need to because they've used condoms and protection and have kept their equipment clean and sterilized.

Some look and think no big deal- his/hys lips kissed someone else, hands, tongue... you get the picture.

To each their own. The final resolution rests among those in a relationship having a discussion about what they both want and can work with.

Can't answer question #1, but to question #2, I do see the hypocrisy in this, I do. I mean, on one hand, I want a new cock with each partner (and harness and vibrators, and...). But, I don't get a new vagina, much to my distress :tease: I dont' see this as the same, though (funny how being a femme works sometimes!). And it does cross my mind that my vagina and my butch's parts have been with other partners, not just those parts that can be taken off. But, if I could, I really, really would get a new vagina each time and breasts while we're at it, and maybe even...

Seriously, I know it's not necessarily fair or logical, but I can't help it!

And I do get a full STD panel with each partner as well as have a *grace*period before sex begins (looks for kitten.with.a.twist to help me out here)

Ok I have to ask...What specifically are you referring to? "Things" as an STD aren't anything I've studied or counseled anyone on risk reduction against.

As for getting to know someone being any kind of protection - ask any PHW (Public Health Worker) and we'll tell you that "knowing someone" isn't a kind of protection and using "protection" isn't a guarantee.

I spend a lot of time talking about safe sex, stigma, myths and risk reduction. Community discussions are wonderful and have a wonderful ability to reach not just the people participating, but those they in turn talk to. Keep it up.

Curious
 

Since you have the expectation and the want for your sexual partners to have new equipment when involved with you.


Do you pay for half the cost?


Since this is a Femme thread I would be interested in unpacking the hypocrisy and double standard that butches.boys.bois.guys.femmeswhopack must have new yet Femme's come in with what they have (vagina) and there is no expectation they be virginal and new..


As I said cocks and sex toys aren't cheap.

I do pay for my half; I would never expect any differently.

As someone mentioned earlier, it's a personal size/girth preference also. I could not physically *take* many available sizes out there, so that's another thing to consider with a new partner.

I know it's not necessarily fair.....

Do what makes you feel comfortable and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it :)

Lots of good stuff here. And Lady Snow... getting a new vagina is just such an interesting thought. I think after my last ex... I might have gotten one if I'd had the choice. I repainted the house, changed out the rugs, bought new sheets, changed my hairstyle, and put all my jewelry in a box in the garage. I didn't have lots of money... but it was nice to have the option to change things up to help in the healing. A new vagina might have been empowering.

But getting a new vagina is not a choice we have and if it was, I'm sure there would be as many differing opinions on that as on this.

Personally, it never occurred to me to have a conversation around if their (suddenly feeling shy) um... cock... was new. Yes, the sex talk is very important, but I don't remember ever asking if they were buying new parts for me. It just never crosses my mind to ask about that.

And I agree with the post that said we have choices and that is a good thing. I remember, before I came out, refusing to have sex with a guy I was dating because he was scary large. In fact, it broke us up. I just couldn't do it at the time. If I'd had choices... well... that may have been a good thing.

Great conversation...

Paying for half? I buy my own AND the most kick ass one I have ever had only cost me $22.00.... The worst one was over $100. Go figure.

Love this post! :flowers:

I don't buy new toys so why should I expect my lover to do the same?
I also feel the "Safe, Sane, Consensual" encompasses having the health/hygiene discussion as only the two of you know how fluid bonded you intend to become.

Otherwise use what you got, often, creatively and well.

Katniss~~(toys aren't cheap but I can be f@cking expensive as well.)

If I could replace my secret garden :rose:, my boobs, and make myself 5 foot 6, I would do that!
I don't have random sex, so never have to worry about the expense or replacing items each and every time with someone new.
To each their, makes for an interesting discussion to say the least.
To each their own.