LOL!

:blink:

I am an absolute prude but (having had a booty call many years ago ... as in 12 plus) I feel like booty calls are just a reason to fill in something you are personally lacking (good sex, love, self esteem etc) and if you are in an LTR of any kind, legal or not you owe it to your partner to break it off long before a booty call happens unless a poly amory situation has been hammered out in ADVANCE). If yer single and free to mingle then knock your damn socks off.

Just my somewhat bitter 2 cents.

Heh I just naturally assumed this thread was not about cheating.

When I was in my early 20's I was a Marine and traveled all the time,I was either just back from a deployment, getting ready to be deployed , or deployed somewhere, so I never wanted anything long term. If I was attracted to someone and she wanted to have some fun that was all I wanted. And it worked out great for me, and it was a very wise thing to do in hindsight. That way when I deployed I was free to do as I wanted. And no one was longing for me to get back to them, and I was able to live in the moment and not be wishing my lover was there etc. So basically every one was a booty call to me.
When I got out I moved to Tulsa AKA femmelessville USA and thought I would settle down find a good femme and get married maybe start a family, like my twin did and all my other siblings. My twin has been with the same femme for 24 yrs.
I however am not so lucky in love so to speak. The dream of getting married and having a family etc is fading . The family thing I gave up on that years ago. But I still held out hope of finding someone to spend my life with. But here lately I'm thinking maybe I should rethink all that. It's been nothing but one dead end disappoint after another. Plus I look at some people and the "partnerships" they are in and they are soooo unhappy and tied to the ball and chain, they are just miserable. Or this one is cheating on that one, or this one is abusive to that one etc. Sometimes I think I don't want any part of that, and I am better off and maybe I am really lucky that I have been alone all these years. Watching someone devote 19 yrs to someone else only to have them run off with another and leave them broke and broken. Nothing to show for 19 yrs except a broken heart. I know some people have been together a long time and don't cheat and are not abusive , but are they really happy? If they were deeply honest with themselves are they really truely happy , as happy as I am? I don't know.
Maybe I don't know what I want anymore. But I have really been thinking more and more that maybe I should go back to my old way of dating. Reading this booty call thread, really makes me think maybe that is the way to go for me. I don't know.

P.S. my two cents: I have no issue with the "booty call" and don't see it as a moral concern. I don't think you have to be in love to enjoy and be enjoyed by another person. I try not to forget that although I'm a human with all sorts of highfalutin ideas about love (yadda yadda), I'm also an animal with animal drives and an animal nature. I'd rather have a booty call than uhaul with somebody incompatable just because I have my lust-blinders on.

I do debate (with myself) whether mutual use is a dark aim and whether that's what casual sex ends up being. I've been accused of "using" even beloved people for sex, so I wring my hands a little about that. And sex can be a great drug - a great painkiller - while it lasts. So on that level, I do *try* to stay on the mutual enjoyment/pleasure side of things and away from the use side. Then again, mutual use can be pretty hot. So my verdict: anything goes but I recommend people try not to do another person damage.

I should have added, I was always honest and up front from day one with everyone I dated. I wanted nothing long term I just wanted to have fun. If they agreed and were willing then we could go from there. I would not lead someone on in any way. And I would not purposely hurt someone or ever play with someones feelings.

my two bucks ...
 

Booty calls seem to be the norm for young folks, as I have passed the quarter century mark, I wanted quality not quantity. Thought I found it a couple of times.

I was mistaken. Now past the half century mark, spending 16 years with one person has taught me book full of lessons. Dating has shown me even more lessons.

Now although I foolishly believe the love of my life is looking for me too, I have to face facts.

I would love to visit butches all over the country and ask them to try on my glass motorcycle boot, lol, fairy tale reference, BUT...

I'm freaking tired of the BS. I'm happy just teasing JAGG, chitchating with everyone.

She/He's not gonna knock on my window and play his/her guitar, or send me flowers just because ... great sex?? It's a myth. Yes I miss the tlc, but frankly I am exhausted from jumping hoops to partake.

Some lucky folks out there have the whole enchilada, some of us get chips without the salsa. I want nachos with all the trimmings.
:goodluck:

Maybe you used up all your booty cards.... semper fi babe. I'm not a fan of the " I just want to have fun" set.

I always still felt empty, alone, un cared for, and used. I felt a part of me die in the exchange. Didn't matter if I agreed to the terms of engagement. I prefer a relationship, even if short lived.

I realized long ago that I don't see sex with another person as just a way to let off tension or steam. I need a soul connection.

I actually feel soul-connection with people whether or not sex is involved. Sometimes it's short-lived, sometimes it's life-long or longer. But sometimes it's nice to just have a good romp and not feel all that. And I sort of hate fun - sex isn't "for fun" to me. (I always think of water skiers when I think of doing things "for fun.")

It's just a hunger and a fire.

That's what I am trying to say, thank you Nat, I just want to have fun means let's go camping to me, not "let's get busy". Lol, I sound like I got offers, lol, :seeingstars:

Your right the connection would be missing. I am sure it would just leave me feeling empty and lonely.

Well, maybe you could hold an open house, give a seminar on all the benefits of being your lover. Maybe Unka Jo could help you make a power point presentation for the ladies.

There are several power Femmes here, maybe they can offer some tips?

Perhaps you need to have more parties at your place? Show off those BBQ skills? Flex your griller muscles? Lol, that is the best part of nursing a beer, watching muscles! :)

How about a slumber party? Sponsor one of those lingerie home parties, serve wine etc., tell your butch friends to bring their checkbooks and each femme to bring an available femme friend.

Just some ideas to get you started.

Who loves ya!? Aunty Bliss !!!!

I have done both.. One thing I did learn from the "Booty" call is to communicate right from the start and don't make it something you have established as a weekly/monthly thing with this person because the booty call can end up to something more to one or both people were looking for. This did happen to me where I developed strong feelings again for this person and when this person broke it off for good I realized it became more then what it started out to be for me.

I have had my eyes peeled for the right booty bud for a while and no luck yet. I used to dream about finding the one, and a while back I really thought I had done, but everything changes, I have discovered. Maybe the One I was looking for isn't in one person, maybe the one is more ethereal, like a melody, and there are many violins taking turns as the lead. I am getting less sentimental as time goes on and I value honesty more than romance these days. An honest booty buddy who likes and respects me and on those days when it suits us both...why not...

I don't mind feeling a little cheap sometimes myself, but I think it really depends on the people involved whether either party goes home feeling cheap or used. I've been told by more than one past person (not on this site) that I made them feel used for sex even when my heart *was* engaged (oops) - so I guess feeling cheap isn't reserved just for booty calls either.

Booty call: sometimes it's just what the Dr. ordered!
But never without emotion--I'm too mammalian for that.

I could never have sex with someone I basically disliked, or someone I
am just physically attracted to, but think they're as dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks.
Sooo, if there's friendly feelings, mutual consideration & honesty, why not?
It's a lot more fun than an evening spent playing Scrabble.

Used to do the booty call thing in my youth, never worked out for me as I would always "fall in love" and end up broken-hearted or even worse the opposite would happen and I would be stuck cleaning up that mess.

Although I am sure I would handle a booty call better these days, and it sometimes seems attractive, I am probably better off staying home with my vibrator until I can get reservations to the steak house down the street. (Kobi, fine dining doesn't put enough on my plate :))

See that's where I differ from most lezbonics. I cannot, cannot, cannot do the sort term relationship soul connection thing. It leaves me ripped up and wibbly and full of drrrrraaaaama.

Lots of people can do the casually in love thing... And by that I mean the short term soulful connection... I can't.

So booty calls are great. I care about the person in a friendship type way, but not in a romantic way. There is a connection in a friendly way, but not in a stare into my eeeeeeyyyyyeeeeeezzzzzz way.

It doesn't feel empty to me at all. And I don't feel I use anyone. I give just as much pleasure as I take. There is no using going on. We are sharing lust, happiness, and sex. And having a laugh me breckfast in the morning and then they go home.

I can't do casual romance. It hurts. And too many lezbeanz I know require it for their sex sessions. To me it feels like being used. Probably because I don't let anyone in that far and when I do, I fucking bloody well mean it. And when I mean it, I mean it to stay.

So I don't do that unless I know that we've already had great sex, we both have common goals, we both feel like we deeply get each other, she feels like my friend, there s lots of laughter and banter, we really bounce off each other. *then* I will make a romantic connection.

I have sex with people before I date them, preferably.

So booty calls, for me, are fun possibilities that can either be just sex, or if there's enough chemistry and friendship that grows out of it, and I learn to trust them, then something good.

But I don't do casual romance. That's like stapling my own hand to my face and eating through it. Just like some people can't do casual sex.