| Martina |
04-30-2018 01:41 PM |
This was a post I had a reaction to. I didn't post at the time because it seemed like Deborah was relatively new and we've been there and done that. She is surely talking about her own experience, but this kind of comment is still problematic. Of course, we all have our preferences, and it's completely legit to feel disgusted by some sexual orientations. But when you don't know your audience, even saying "this just how I feel but it's disgusting" is uncool. All of us older folk have heard that more than once from straight people, and we recognize that as homophobia. It's super alienating. How many steps away from I'm disusted is "that shouldn't be shown on TV" or "I don't want that around my kid."
Tell your friends that the idea of kissing a femme is disgusting to you. But telling a group of people you don't know is not right. There are femmes here who date other femmes. I am one. I also, when I date, am someone who dates butches. I don't date trans men because I am a dyke, like a six on the Kinsey scale. I am not disgusted by the idea. But if I were, I wouldn't share it here because there are trans men here as well as people who love the idea of being with them.
I don't know what line we need to walk with new folks coming in. I decided back in February not to react to this. I probably should have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deborah*
(Post 1190896)
I've never dated a feminine woman.
A memory... years ago, I had a roommate who had this dominant feminine friend who fancied me. My roommate would say "think of her as a butch who wears lipstick, she's also rich" and I said "no way am I interested, that's disgusting!" Also is the fact that I don't use people for their money.
Deborah
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