Like I said...Those are the fools that probably have a dick the size of a gherkin... :rofl:

I know, right?! I think some people just pull that stuff right outta their asses!! I'm sorry that I let you down ~ I'll start getting together my list of bad pick up line responses ASAP!

PERV... but at least you are cute ;)
Now, don't be using Billy Joe Jim Bob's pick up line on the ladies this weekend!!

Oh where was this line when I was bartending???

I used to just tell them that measuring from the asshole forward was cheating... :blink:

ROFLMMFAO!!! Love your response Jo :cracked:

A line I used once, Would you care to lead me around the dance floor?

hehehe

My personal all time favorites

"Stand still so I can pick you up."

Can I take your picture?
Why?
Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas

Well here I am! What were your other two wishes?

I was wondering something about you
Oh yeah what might that be
Do your lips taste as good as they look?

Wanna do it?

if i have enough to drink i may stand on the dance floor and yell "wanna fuck" during a lull in the music. i heard i'm slutty like that.

Um.

How come I never got that when we drank together.????

i was thinking it really loud.

Well, to be honest, that's probably the most polite way to ask that question. Points for discretion go to the younger man. :)

Oh, good. I just passed a truck full of donkeys that would be perfect for you! (My response)

Was he wearing sandals and a robe?

Everyone has a purpose in life.... :blink:

I have no problem getting out of your bed to make you breakfast in the morning. The few times I went out after work with my chef coat on it actually worked...but mostly it failed.

True story.

I was on the bus, reading. Which is pretty much what I do - I ride buses and read. Some guy sits beside me and says "hi. what are you reading?" So I show him the cover of my book. (It was Love in the Time of Cholera)

he says "um. What's chool-era?"

game over.

Fuck me with your vestigial tail!

Seriously, it is a wonder I ever get laid....I think I am funny, Cynthia is mostly creeped out by the weird shit I say. She is a champ putting up with me! :)

should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

I'd vote for the nudge ;)

"so do you wanna f**k?"
i apologize i was a jerk in my 20's
but that line actually hooked me a hottie who i ended having a 4 year relationship with. then she left me for my best friend kevin. i miss him more than i miss her.

I was catering an event last night (the hunting expo thingy), and apparently one of the guys there hit on one of my co-workers... he said to her,

"You're a very beautiful girl... you look like my EX-wife. I'm at table 23 ;)"

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

destined to fail... um, yeah.
 

current events relevant mackin'
 

Works everytime
 

Motion for her to come over with the finger "come here" sign. If she does, tell her, "I just wanted to see if I could I could make you come with my finger. Looks like I can. My fingers work even better in the bed."

WARNING: This drunken line is sure to evoke a strong emotional reaction of some sort.

Pick-ups
 

I took my forefinger...put it to my lips...and softly licked it. Then put the wet finger to her shirt. Looked right into her eyes and said "we really should get you out of these wet things".

or...

"You need me".

If I even attempted to say a pick-up line, which probably would never happen... I would probably get a red face, start giggling and just walk away like an idiot. Sexy huh?

:-D

"You are so in my mating pool."

This one usually works really, really well (go figure); but oh boy, when it goes bad...


"Ya wanna' date me? I'll let ya."

This one can work (if the recipient understands irony which is a big if)

"You're not great looking, but there's not much to choose from here."


Also, potential to work with someone who hasn't had a humour bypass:


"If I offer you the chance to come home with me tonight, is it okay if you made up the bed again in the morning?"

Where I'm from, it's customary to exchange watches with someone you've just met....

(It was Southern California--everyone had a Rolex except me. Actually, did I even have a watch?)

-- tapu, Accomplished PUA

That would work on me.

The weird straight dude said, "I would looove to study the Upanishads with you."

I was at a pub with friends and this kid (I swear it was a kid... like, 19, which is the minimum drinking age here...) was trying to chat us up. Naturally we were polite but turned our backs when we were done being civil, but he just kept harping on at me (I was closest.)

Me: *turning around and saying politely* Can I help you with something?
Him: I just wanna know... are we friends?
Me: Maybe someday, but I'd like to visit with my friends now, please, okay?
Him: Maybe not. I hate being in the friend zone, so maybe we should go back to my place and get this over with.

Fortunately everyone heard him because he was drunk and yelling, so we ended up laughing and booing him out (along with a bunch of men our age who started hollering "Peeweeeee!" at him. I love straight bars.