Butch Femme Planet - If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

Butch Femme Planet (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/index.php)

- The Fluffy Stuff: Flirting, Humor, Chat (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=17)

- - If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1717)

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come :D Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

Hey HB, LTNS...Hope you've been well.

And nope, you understood the question perfectly. ;)

Thanks for your response.

Be well darlin'

-S

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 157943)

There's a book I never should have read.

:glasses: all those if only i had, i wish i had, i should have, i should not have's...... :hamactor:

.......perhaps i should have used some super glue on my lifes trail......

A few children taught me it is best to do..and not regret, or second guess, if it does not turn out right, or if you say the wrong thing...or do something kinda selfish or stupid from time to time...it is ok......you do the best u can and if u screw up well that just makes u more lovable....

So after 58 years I simply pull the cork from the wine, and put on Edith Piaf and sing "NO Regrets".... :wine: feel free to join me.

Simply... Pay closer attention.

I wish I made a play for Lianne in college and I wish I bought NT05's this summer.

I would have ignored everyone's advice and adopted that foster child I worked with. But then again, I surely wouldn't be here now. So NO regrets!

:floatbee:

Trusted my instincts and taken better care of me and not so many others....

I would not have picked the flower that held the angry bumblebee ....

I would have had the internship changed earlier then August, now I have to ask for an extension which delays me in moving to Florida in October!!

Never started to smoke cigarettes! Quitting is a bitch and I have lost track of how many attempts I have made!

Most other things have just been the usual trials of living and I really have no regrets there.

Be gentle with yourself, we all find our way.

Ciggys..the bitch.Oh heck have I been down that slipry slope.I started at 14 cause it was cool....quit for 10yrs then at 50 outta the blue liltup and the thing was like it never stoped..In January 2010 I quit again~~~~fell off the wagon for the last couple months but am back on the wagon after adjusting my head as to why I nedded a smoke in the first place.I now take it like AA..one day at a time works good that way ause every day I dont smoke is a day I win and am stronger.

If I changed anything I would not be here now where I am with the love of my life and knowing everything works out the way it is supposed to. Come hell or high water.

In all honesty, I wouldn't change a thing because all my fumbles have led me here and I'm very happy.

Of course, looking back there are a few things I could have done better:

- I would have lost my V card to that UBER hottie in high school and had the most insane bragging rights ever. Lol

- I would have spent more time learning from my grandparents and listening to their Stories. Too late I found out how interesting their journeys were.

- And maybe I could have spent a little more time putting myself first every once in awhile.

But no regrets. Just musings.

would have bought that damn one bedroom duplex on Norfolk street for 70K 15 years ago. its worth half a million now. dammit. :)

I woulda said yes yesterday when SD would have come kidnapped me to go to to the reunion- had I of known that Damon would have let me go alone!
dammmmiiitttttttttt :crybaby:

now where's that damn turn back button??????????????

I would of never said hello to that person who hurt me so many times in my life

I would have graduated when I was supposed to, not seven years later and I would have kept a job long enough to move out and actually have a life ............ but even with that said, I know that I wasn't ready back then to do any of that so things happened for a reason and I accept it now!

I would NOT have gotten involved in poly relationships

AND

I would NOT have left that relationship 12 years ago... Hindsight is an interesting thing at the very least!!

What's done is done, but the repercussion from our actions sometimes last a lifetime.

If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently?

I would be true to myself, to my inner knowing. Every time I have not, I have gotten hurt.

I have trusted unwisely. When I see the warning signs, of people who's behavior is hurtful, I would keep walking and never look back, rather than giving them a chance.....

I acknowledge responsibility for my choices, even though at times I have hurt myself. Given a second chance I would do better.

Our self worth, and how we share the beauty of our soul, is all we really own in this life. And it's worth a lot.

http://www.avoision.com/portnoy/imag...oveFortune.jpg

During a crisis I faced in 2001/early 2002...I wouldn't have put "it" back in "it's" place. Things would have been much better for many people had I handled that crisis in a different way and not shut down emotionally or allowed myself to get completely and utterly overwhelmed.

wouldn't have married and idiot. oh wait that's right I wouldn't have married at all, STUPID ME!

i would do nothing differently.
except maybe that tragic pair of ditto jeans in 8th grade could have gone unpurchased...

I would have said yes to the chocolate bread pudding!

I would have waited

I would have allowed myself to come out at a MUCH younger age..I wouldn't have waited so long..I wouldn't have lied to myself about WHO I was/am..

I would have gone back with my ex when she tried to get us back together...

but things happen the way they do for a reason...and I am lovin' life now adays!! :)

Nothing

Everything I've done, I've gleaned a valuable lesson from.

Life is a learning lesson - gotta learn to roll with the punches. :seeingstars:

Seriously I would have c come out earlier but I am here now so that is all that matters!

I would have accepted that interview with UPS 25 yrs ago and just taken my chances of being punished at my present job for missing inventory

I've learned from everything.

I would have listened to my gut about my ex.
During a conversation, when I knew what was wanted, I would have done it.
I wouldn't have taken that first pill that sent me spiraling into the abyss.

I'd do a lot of things different, but most of all...
I'd probably smack myself with a bunch of red Flags, warn Myself to be a Lot more cautious with my heart, and friendships.
Now Me: "don't be so gullible" -slap-
Past Me: "Ok!"
Now Me: "Heart on sleeve, IX-NAY !!!" -slap-
Past Me: " I get it !!"
Now Me: "Slap slap slap"
Past Me: :blink:
Now Me: "Just making sure it sinks in....":readfineprint:

(f) I would have given my grandparents the attention they deserved instead of giving in to my teenage selfishness.

Not much of anything. I would keep it the same. I have learned a great deal from my mistakes: how to say no, how to set boundaries, how to recognize dishonourable people, how to discern those who have great ethics and those who do not and most importantly how to love someone with my whole heart unconditionally. I was never a great believer in unconditional love. Hy showed it to me. A great role model. If I turned back the hard times, I would not have this amazing devotion and love now.

lots of things... but right now... getting a higher college education and coming out earlier.

Not let all the baggage from the past stay stuck to my coat-tails.
Learn that I'm only human.
Been born with the side of my family that stayed in the US all those years ago.

I would have agreed to purchase COBRA insurance so I wouldn't be stuck in my current situation with multiple trips to the hospital, new prescriptions and my Lupus kicking my ass (among other things wearing me out).

I would have run away instead of been thrown away

i'd straddle more big guns..

If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked better questions.

I would have moved home to spend as much time as possible with my Mom before she died... then stayed home to take care of Dad and spend those last two precious years with him 24/7. I miss them. Then, I would have met Stacy about 10 years sooner to avoid a whole lotta heartache and start my forever sooner. But that said... I absolutely love my life the way it turned out. :)