Pffft bring it on!

Even when I crack my neck hmmm PSSST
I think we are hijacking:pirate-steer: this thread
Sorry Y"all

Even when!
Whoops :|

/derail

The only things I would add would be support the dreams and goals the one you love has. Honor the accomplishments and mourn the losses with them.

Stuff that has worked for me
 

Embrace and encourage individual interests and adventures for both yourself and your partner. You are not conjoined twins, by maintaining your difference you increase limerence and it helps keep conversation interesting.

Get away every once in awhile and have an adventure (esp in long term relationships). You need to get out in the world and see each other interacting with said world, this helps remind you why you love the person in the first place.

Have sex in new ways and new places, resist the rut that leads to boredom that steals your heat. Have sex in a new room in the house, try a new position, shake it up. You don't have to get all crazy (unless you want to) but try new things.

Do physical things together, wrestle, dance, walk, by connecting physically (other than sexually) it helps build new neural paths and strengthens your bond.

When talking about emotional issues try to stay open and in the present moment. Really listen to what your partner is saying, even if it is hard for you to hear, even if you want to jump in and defend yourself, even if you think they are wrong, wrong, wrong. Just listen and support them, your time to talk will come and you will find the situation less combative if they feel genuinely heard and accepted. Both parties should practice this and believe me you will get better at it over time (it takes practice). Try reflecting back what you are hearing, e.g. "I hear you are frustrated because you feel like when I don't empty the dishwasher I am taking you for granted."

Agree to fight fair, have ground rules and stick to them, better yet write them down so it can remain an objective touch stone.

When you fuck up, genuinely apologize and make it right as much as you can.

Remember no one is perfect and it is difficult to make changes. Remove the sawdust in your eye before you gun for the log in someone else's.

Maintain yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit or soul, your credit score. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a little mystery and there is everything to gain by loving yourself and engaging in good strong self care.

lessons learned
 

Respect

Listen

Talk

Laugh

Fuck

Comfort

No matter how mad you are, reach out and touch - literally - just before you go to sleep.

There is nothing as lonely or as crazy making as being in bed next to the person you love but being too hurt/proud/indignant to ask for a hug. Don't make them ask. Just do it.

Words

I'm the opposite, I don't want to be hugged or hug if I am mad. I just want to be left the hell alone, maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years.

I was thinking more along the lines of the person who was mad with the other reaching out, but you're right, we're all very different.

Me? I need some kind of physical contact just before W/we go to sleep regardless of who's mad with the other. Nothing sexual, just a 'so okay, one of us is mad now but it'll all be okay in the morning' kind of touch. And, to be honest, nine times out of ten it is.

Words

Be nice to me

Give random back rubs, foot rubs, kisses.

Make decisions together after you discuss them.

Be there for your mate.

Realize that some days you will not like each other and that is fine.

Try not to go to bed upset with each other. Release the bad energy before the new day starts.

Always be honest and have good intentions.

There are plenty more things but I am lazy and I don't want to type them.

Find joy in each other's joy.
Take affection as willingly as you give it.
Encourage each other to new heights.
Make the most of the day-to-day moments together.
Treat each other with respect and kindness.
Communicate and tell the truth.
Never use each other as excuses for unhappiness.

Bring me tea when I'm tired.

If you are thinking maybe I should breakup with her/him-you should.

hugs
 

If I'm angry and the other person hugs me , my anger is instantly gone. Especially if we are in bed and they slide up behind me and spoon me. But I won't tell them , cos it's a secret that I should not reveal, but if they really love they would figure it out, they'd learn how to get through to me.

Hey now, that's what I am talking about!

hide the horse until the ceremony is over...

...Simply...
 

It's simple...
 

As my Mom and Dad said (completely separately from each other I might add)....


KNOW that where you ARE is EXACTLY where you WANT to BE.


If you BOTH have this mindset... the rest will follow... you will always find a way to figure it out during the hard times, the fun times, and the loving times... and the difficult things of life don't come between you when you are on that same page.

Be gentle with the cloaca.

Always own your part.

Forgive and discuss.

OMG..... now I know why I've been single for 5 years.
Really all is to clean out the dishwasher? Jesus I knew I paid that therapist too much. ..... lol

THANK YOU SCORP!!!!

My Dear Brother Ebon read this for Pup and I at our wedding; seems to be a good fit for the thread:

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.

And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return.

We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

--Anne Morrow Lindberg

Just thought I would share that.

Glynn

Quite true.

Keep up hygiene and appearance even after you "have" me
Look at me when I'm speaking to you
Go on dates, even after years
Be very affectionate
Be honest and open, above all
Compliments, compliments and compliments
Notice the "little things"-a new hairstyle, new clothes
Remember what brought you together in the first place, and rekindle that heat
Remember that both of you have to be dedicated to personal growth
Laugh, often and hard

Remember that paying attention to the small things helps build a strong foundation for facing the big stuff together.

Taking a partner for granted is a fast track to splitting up.

Laugh together.... A LOT!!!

It helps if she thinks you're adorable.
Tell her you love her and that she's beautiful, but really mean it.
Choose someone who thinks you're really funny, even if you don't know why you amuse them so much.
Express gratitude and appreciation as often as you feel it.
Always ask if you can get her something while you're in the kitchen.

rub her feet--even tho you have a thing about feet-because it helps her!

thank her often for all she does for you

do something for no reason at all!

Cook dinner
Massages after a long hard day
Clean and wash her car
Bring home wild flowers you picked on the side of the road.
Fuck her well, and often.
Dont stop when she says she cant again, there is always one more in there. :)
Bring her coffee
Wash her hair
Tell her how beautiful she is when she wakes up in the morning, and then show her.
Smile and be proud of her when she is on your arm. Even when you are at home depot together, covered in dirt..picking up last minute supplies you ran out of while planting a garden.
Put air in her tires, and check the oil.
Take her out on surprise picnics.
Never wait for the perfect moment to tell her how you feel. Say it when you feel it, dont hold it in.
Give her white and red roses, the symbols for purity and love.
Hold her hair back while she is throwing up from the flu.
Bring her chocolates, and a heating pad when she has cramps and PMS, also, just say, yes baby..to anything she says during that time.
Listen to every lyric, to every song she posts..she may be talking to you.
Protect her, keep her safe.
Spank her ass when she needs it.
Let her spank yours if she needs it.