wet blanket, redux
 

So. I've been watching this thread from the beginning and it immediately seemed problematic to me. Lists are limiting. They constrain by what is contained from beginning to end. I think preferences are normal, but I agree with sassy, there are a lot of niggling, insignificant details contained in some. (And yes, I did just publicly agree with sassy, so?)

What if the love of your life is a victim of childhood sexual trauma at the hands of her older brother, and isn't comfortable giving blow jobs? Sorry, babe, I ain't gonna love ya.

I see so many here holding up these ideals, these "perfect" visions of what they desire, and yet, single. I wonder if any of you ever look deep inside yourselves and wonder, who's list am I making?

Finding love is about one thing, really.

Be open.

Ok, two - do your "work." No one else is going to make a silk's purse out of the sow's ear of your life.

Mr B, I respect your opinion but this is all in fun. I don't think anyone wants Mr or Mrs. Perfect. I think everyone wants love. I mean don't you? Lists are good for lots of things and sometimes not perfect. I mean I've made grocery lists and forgot stuff. I don't nor have I ever expectedvanyone to live up to my expectations I always bend and always will. So what if you don't give me a blowjob or like dogs. I mean come on. All we really want is to have someone whos honest and respects us. All the rest is a benefit. Oh and I was molested. It lasted ten years of my childhood but it doesn't effect who I am today in fact it made me a more giving person and I survived. Im not a kid and that was my past and I don't live in the past. So do me a favor. If you don't like something don't do it. If you read something and don't like what you read then stop reading but don't ruin it for people who do. Its not fair and not right. I do respect your opinion but that's all it is is an opinion. Thank you!
**** this is just my opinion***

My love list overflows!
 

Blow Jobs do not equate love!

(that should be a bumper sticker:)!)

Hey Lady Snow, no it doesn't. Sorry everyone, I was mad. Hey Lady, I've met you in person a long time ago at the Club Cafe in Boston. Does Handsome ring a bell? Krystle was there and a few others. Hope everyone is having a great day. I'm off to go eat. I'll be around later. Again sorry for the outburst.

I love Ms Krystle!!! I miss Lars:(

I love Boston!!

I apologize I don't remember a handsome may I have another clue?

Hey Lady, you can look at my pic or at the time I was with Zebra. That help? I saw Lars on other site recently.

Lemme go see!

A love list...

They must like to get fucked and give a good blow job. I agree 100%. (and yes, I date Butches)

I love cats and dogs, gave away 2 cats for an allergic Butch years ago, worst mistake I ever made. So no cat/dog allergies.

Must be kind.

Must be sweet.

Must be open minded.

According to "Bones" (the TV show) prospects must be between 31 and 81? Apparently its ok for them to be half my age plus 7, and I guess that works both ways?

I used to think just Integrity, but Integrity and Love are not always enough. Sometimes our life deals us personalities that just do not mesh, no matter how much integrity both parties have...how much love is there.

More later. lol.

I wonder if, when we are typing something into a public forum and we see ourselves typing: 'sorry, don't mean to be crude' that it might be a hint to give ourselves a moment to re-read and re-think before we hit send...

we all have differing sensibilities...this is true...I would suggest that there is a base line which we, or at least many of us, are aware of, and which when we make the conscious choice to cross, says much more about us than it does about those of us who might have a reaction...

add to that when we make it blatantly clear that we'd like to share ourselves with a special specialperson, our words become all the more important...I, for one, am much more interested in someone who saves the specifics of intimate desires for an appropriate private time and place...I would not feel safe or respected going into something having heard and read , more than once, the intimate acts which are a prerequisite for a relationship...

I say this with the full admission that I may well have a narrow, or limited view of things....I say this knowing that a certain level of decorum is both important to me and can be a form of foreplay...still. and. all.

if someone 'doesn't want to be crude' , I would suggest being more judicious in ones words, and being aware that, having made clear in the most specific of terms what one wants, it's hardly effective to repeat it...

I would way rather know up front what someone likes sexually so I dont waste precious time and money on someone I am not compatable with.

As women we are brought up to be appologetic. I would not have appologized for being crude, I like crude.

In fact I would never date anyone not crude.

Bottom line, we all have different needs and we should be open to the fast that other people have different needs than we have.

There may be a reason someone needs a punctual partner for example. Or maybe being more chaste about wording.

We can all be different and think what we think.

Nina, thank you for your opinion. :)

And if you're going to say fuck then say "fuck."
 

Sorry if I didn't validate your opinion. I am now and I will say sorry. Have a great day everyone and I wish you all luck in finding love. I'm off to browse forums.

I'd put that on my car
 

Dirty!!!!!

What is important to me in my butch...
 

1 Interesting conversationalist
1. Interesting conversationalist
2. Well-read
3. Sense of humor, easy to laugh
4. Insight into self
5. Ability to be vulnerable when we are alone
6. Comfortable with both sexuality & sex
7. Healthy libido
8. Belief in the concept of monogamy in a committed relationship
9. Ethical values
10. Social & feminist consciousness
11. Kind, thoughtful, loving
12. Accepts me for who I am, in all my imperfect glory & I in return-do the same
13. Even if hurt previously, healed from it, learned from it, ready & able to move on with hope & excitement for the future

Let's just say *someone* sang my dog to sleep--This song:



And accepted all of me and is encouraging, loving and honest and had already had his therapy--plus, he's got a great pompadour! <3

Pretty! That sneaky Ezee singing to your dog! :) that made me smile!!

I have had lists in the past and found special someones with everything on the list. Am I still with them? No. However, I don't have any exes (of over a month lol) I am not friends with since college.

None of my exes has ever done anything so horrible to me I can't be their friends, and I think that is important...and making a list made that possible...I knew what traits were important to me in someone close.

Maybe some of us are list makers and some not?

I make lists, spreadsheets or itineraries for everything and sometimes even notebooks with tabs, so it is a given that in search for a victim...oooopssss...I mean GF, I would make lists...and the same goes for listmakers everywhere. lol.

Ok people who like lists, keep them coming. ;)

Honest
Romantic
Will always ask me to dance even though I"m not good at it
Cuddler
Secure in themselves
employed
has own transportation
Comes up with something other than "i don't know, what do YOU want to do"
music lover
thinks my terrible jokes are funny
Calm


That should pretty much do it. Here's hoping it isn't too long/strict a list!

Great lists!!!!

makes lists...lol

Bumping for all those looking for love and for those who love lists. :)

Good point.

I have been with more than one woman who matched my "list", but am no longer with them. The "list" may equal a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean that the chemistry follows.

Also, sometimes when you find love, the damn "list" goes out the window! One can find that something they didn't know they needed they do need, or what they thought they didn't want, they do want (like kids, for example). I think it is important to not be too strict when it comes to a "list", or you may miss out on something great!

Bumping for the newbies. :)

My list is carved onto his back:)

Lists...have been thinking of making a new one...but I really don't know what would even be on there any more.

Now that I have learned Integrity is not enough, what the hell would I put on a list?

I'm gonna add to mine :)

She must love to cook cause I lobe to eat I wanna cook with her though sometimes lol

Hey Love listers. hope you all have a wonderful fourth. Keep the hope alive. :)

A very simple list:

1. Must...absolutely MUST get my sense of humour
2. Must not sneak raisins into my cinnamon buns.
3. Must have a penchant for pushing me up against the wall.

Really...not too much to ask for. ;)

agreed...cept for the eye color... i'm not picky bout that, more about how they look at me with those eyes than the color of em. ;) but i agree that integrity just about covers it. i don't think that my "ideal" partner has to agree with me all the time (in fact, how boring would that be??) or share the same beliefs (again...where's the fun in that?). i think it's more about being able to be true to themselves while allowing me to do the same. oh... and they must love kid... not all of em...just mine! :sunglass:

I added likes to cook :)

But oh loves to kiss.

Loves things girlie Bubble baths mani/pedi. Perfume lotion

Must be ok with the fact I have no family.