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DISCLAIMER--these are things i have ALWAYS demanded and are not directed at any one partner!
took me awhile to figure out if i even had 3....some may say i have many others may agree on the ones i list....either way this is what I feel........
1....HONESTY!!! if you cant/dont/wont be honest about the small,mundane things because you dont want to deal/hear my reaction,then its a good indicator u really wont be honest about the big things....this in turns destroys everything else--trust,passion,openness! 2...if you dont understand the relationship/connection i have with my son,at least respect it...after all i have known him longer,i KNOW his negatives and positives. and i had to struggle to find the 3rd one but.... 3...dont talk out both sides of your mouth! dont say what u think i want to hear,dont try to impress me |
-be appreciative of wicked smart intelligence
-must love hunting ;) -sharing a love for all seasons |
Things like honesty, compassion, sense of humour (including the ability to laugh at oneself) and good hygiene are givens. I mean, I wouldn’t be considering a relationship without them. But assuming those criteria are met, my next 3 are:
Must love to “do” the beach the way I do. I used to say I wanted someone who loved the beach. Then I learned almost everyone loves the beach, but that saying so means different things to different people. Some people mean they like to look at it, some like to walk on it, some like to spend an hour or so there. I like to get there before anyone else does, and leave after everyone else has. I can spend 9 or 10 hours at a stretch there, and then come back and do it again the next day. Must love mushrooms. Two partners who hated them and one who was ambivalent about something I love so much made this a requirement. Must be able to let things go. Look, we’re going to hurt each other from time to time . . . it just happens. I try hard to say what I mean, mean what I say, and not say it mean, but every so often I am going to say something I don’t mean, or do something without thinking it through . . . everyone does. I am too old and tired to carry a grudge, or to deal with the silent treatment while I try to figure out what I’ve done wrong, and anyway, I’ve probably already forgotten it. I let these things go quickly. I don’t think everything needs to be hashed out, and could live the rest of my life happily never hearing the words “I need to process this” ever again. This of course only applies to (what to me are) little things, because there is no coming back from (what to me are) big things like cheating. |
Well, I gave this a go, like, 12 times and it just seems to turn into an insurmountable list.
*feeling a bit unreasonable : / |
OK, No wire hangars was funny (I think)
My list is short and sweet. No cigarettes, no drugs, no drunks |
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I live in Seminole country. I hate the name Tebow. *laughs!* ;) |
No substance abusers (I am 9 years clean and sober)
Honesty. Period. A sense of humor. Kinky or open to it. No. Drama. (I don't follow rules so well) |
When the love bug hits me....Everything is negotiable. :goodscore:
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you must know who red skelton is and adore him
traditions are important to me and my adult daughter. Honor them and help us create some for you and us speaking of, its a package deal...me and the adult kid, and any grandchildren that might come along. |
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And 5. Doesn't have to like or love chocolate, but must like or love giving me chocolate, in large quantities. Is that acceptable? Quote:
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For myself, I also have a difficult time narrowing something so complex down to just three ticks on a list but these are the really, truly big ones:
1. No abuse. You will not hit me. You will not force me to do things I don't want to do (the occasional making me go out to visit Auntie Maude and Uncle Fester when I really don't feel like leaving the house is okay....). There will be no non-concentual roughness of any kind. This include physical, mental and emotional domains. 2. Mind your addictions. Non-prescription, illegal drugs are not welcome. Neither is excessive drinking. Neither is betting on the ponies. Neither is bedding anyone and/or everyone you meet. The internet is negotiable, as I have a small addiction to it as well. 3. Respect. You will give what you get with me. You give me shit, then that is what you receive. You give me kindness and consideration and respect and tenderness and you shall receive those back in spades. |
No lying, period. Even if my feelings could be hurt by something, I'd rather have the truth and deal with what it means.
Self-sufficiency and an adult- I am not a Daddy (no negative judgement of others in alternative types of relationships, this is just not for me). Self-examined and aware that our actions do effect others- guess this is about not being entitled and unaware of others around us. Have to add that I can't be with someone that drinks a lot. And I don't know if I would do well with a recovering alcoholic or other substance abuser to be honest. Hummm... as an older person, I find that there are many things I just won't deal with that I may have in the past. Love and partnership is a wonderful thing, but I just don't have the same need for a relationship as I did earlier in my life. Maybe it is just that relationship variables have just changed as I have aged and I am used to and like living on my own. The last LTR (6 years, prior one 21 years), I did not live with my partner and it worked well for both of us. Although, we lived about 20 minutes from one another. |
And....you will tell me when I spell nonconsensual wrong.
BEFORE I post. :blink: |
1) Integrity
2) The person prefers a stone partner 3) The person consciously works towards being the best self that they can be in all areas of their life (in love, in their work, in their mental health, in their financial choices, in their family relationships, etc.) |
1. My toaster strudel is mine.
2. My toaster strudel is mine. 3. My toaster strudel is mine. Some things are sacred. |
1. Don't spy on me. If I am doing something, it WILL be in the open. This girl is way too wise to hide.
2. I am not your "everything". We are separate entities. You can live without me. Proof - we met - therefore, you were alive previously. 3. Having super honed intuition gives me a tad leg up. Lie... I'll know. But you won't necessarily know I do. Self-Hanging is not fun to watch, but I won't intervene. |
I will say that three non-negotiables for ME:
1. The dogs sleep in the bed...they were here first :winky: 2. No Missouri Tiger fans. NONE. Zilch. Zero. 3. You've gotta like to go dancing! (and if you want to take some ballroom lessons with me, you get extra credit!! :winky:) |
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~using my child as a pawn to try to manipulate me in some way. even my own child sees through this.
~abuse of any kind whether it be verbal, emotional, or physical. ~giant egos. PASS. |
No alcohol
Goals in life Self sufficient |
I think three (really wanted to say five) is healthy (with some things being givens) because the more "I have to have this" it takes the less open we are to what life has to offer..life isn't perfect and we aren't either, thats ok, in life there has to be sweet and bitter..but balance is what we are seeking..(imo)
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Integrity
Intelligent Energetic/ Fit |
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I’m adding….
Annunciation Pronunciations Sentence formation This my seem like the pot calling the kettle black, considering my accent may be seen as a bastardisation of the English language in terms of pronunciation of the words…. There is no letter E and our I’s are lonely without the O, unless it morphs into a U when the O is not needed in the word ….really we only use the vowels A, O and U. ….OK! I admit that when I’ve said some things, I’ve been given the “WT….?” Look. A classic example is when I’ve arranged to meet a date and I’ve said: “Us sucks, good for you?” (Translated as: “Is six, good for you?”) …. And at the restaurant, I’ve ordered: “Munner stroney, followed by Fitter Cheney with Oluves and Ever Cardeau.” (Translated as: “Minestrone and Fettuccine with Olives and avocado) I don’t expect, and I’m not looking for the perfect linguist to have conversations with, yet, I’d like to be able to at least stand a decent chance of understanding what my date says! It’s cringe-worthy when I can’t tell if it’s a new dialect of British English and I’m too embarrassed to ask, AGAIN! Although, I’m growing quite fond of the east London accent that sounds like a love child of Alan Rickman and Michael Caine, lol! |
Absolutely Non-Negotiable
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First and foremost a sense of humor; cause I am kick ass funny and if you don't laugh I will be sad...
interest in tantra or sacred sex - wham bams - need not apply deeply spiritual - I will accept yours if you accept mine |
no birds as pets
no snakes in the house must love cats and dogs and allow them to sleep in the bed :glasses: |
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1. respect and understanding for and of my daughters. they come first.
2. a healthy relationship with food. it's a big part of my life but not the center of it. 3. loves to laugh.....at me and with me. :) especially about farting, pooping, and everything bathroom oriented. :passinggas: |
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I finally learned not to try to guess where someone is from. Aussies/Kiwis don't appreciate my saying "Are you British"? Oops. I myself sound like Scarlett O'Hara from Milwaukee. *ahem* As for me: 1. No undealt with addictions (and if recovering, it's more than one year) 2. No rage issues. No abuse or disrespect. 3. Responsible. |
I had some difficulty distinguishing between deal breakers and desires. Anyone reading this, I assume, is a member here and therefore knows how important both sexual preference and sexual orientation are so I eliminated them from my list.
I could not be with someone who is not; Honest:not the brutal kind Compassionate: not just to those with the acceptable diseases, behaviors or life problems, to everyone. a Nonsmoker This is the quintessential speed dating question. I know someone who will be prepared because she reads the dynamic posts on the bfp. |
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I’ve been mistaken for South African a lot over here! :blink: ….I love the melodic French, Italian and Scandinavian cadences, also, the Louisiana and east coast accents. *Swoons* ROFL! Eliza Doolittle comes under the east London accent as the love child of Alan Rickman and Michael Caine, lol! ….My attempts at doing a Cockney accent are somewhat left to be desired….my Kiwi accent creeps through and I sound like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, only with a cold! LOL! :| Scarlett O’Hara with a Milwaukee accent, eh? That sounds interesting! :) |
[QUOTE=Gemme;490285]My friend, if there are many out there who think this way, I am doomed. It's the curse of the Gemini to feel everything a different way at different times. It's the built in flibbertygibbet in us.
:princess:[quote] Lmao@ "flibbertygibbet"... (and I know what you mean- I think that's dif than what I was thinking so no worries lol ;) ) |
subject to change with notice...
So three non-negotiables in a relationship (of the this is serious type)...
1. Have a deep understanding of what it means to be a parent and a clearly choose to be in a relationship with someone that is a parent. This includes loving the kiddo, me, sharing a common perspective about how I parent, respecting how I parent. And pretty much be over your need to sleep in for a while. 2. Possess the capacity for forgiveness. For yourself, others, etc. I will endeavor to make it right, but I won't get it right the first time always. Forgiveness includes openness for me. 3. Passion... for your goals, for "us", what you want, what we are defining together, sex. Passion can ebb and flow but underlying there is a desire to be on life's journey. |
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handsome ears
must have a bookcase filled with books must enjoy indoor animals |
Miss Tia you are up to 9!!! I am calling foul!
:readrules: :police: :tease: |
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Health conscious. Willing to prepare, or at least eat, healthy food. Not bring junk food in the home. Take walks, ride bikes, visit the gym, etc. ... good for me in more than just the dinner-and-a-movie kind of way. |
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