What's that smell?

I like to try alot of different things. In fact I rarely keep a job for more than 6months. I just get bored.

I don't cook so I hope you do. I hate cleaning and I don't do laundry. I absolutely refuse to do yard work. (What's left? Eating and sleeping)


I'm just not into titles or labels.Butch Femme dynamics, what's that?



O

see? ME. this has happened to me TWICE. Absolutely humiliated and knew what it looked like when I reached into my bag and.... omfg. ...no...nonononono.... NOOOOOOOO.
FUCK!!!!

then begging them to swing past my place so I can re-imburse. Of course they won't. they are too polite. I look like a dickhead.

I am a seriously bad date half the time.

One time I sat and babbled about the chemistry of this one women's job for 15 min while she stared at me in glazed boredom.

another, two bicurious drunk 20 somethings came over to our pub table and started talking to me and trying to pick me up cause they loved my breasts. Luckily my date thought this was fucking hilarious as she watched me try and deal. But mostly that would not have flown. I could not get rid of them cause my date was sniggering and so I turned and said "right. since this is so amusing, I'm going to the loo. YOU can get rid of the leg humping yorkies." they were gone when I got back.


another, I realised mid-date that she was one of my very long term (we grew up down the road from each other) old friend's ex-wife. And introducted this fact by putting down my fork and said "omg. I know your dog! really well, actually..."
"really? how?"
"cause I've known your exwife for 27 years?"
Bad, bad date

I could go on. seriously. I have lists of these. One I knocked myself out on a tree branch.

I seriously think these things should be in a book....lol dating hell...

my friend is/was a serial dater and had a date that paid for dinner but insisted on splitting the meal rather than pay for two. :| She told me she would have rather gone dutch and actually ate.... but he insisted.....

Then of course there was the infamous...Stanley.... this guy leaned over mid date (first date) and whispered that he wanted to introduce her to his friend, Stanley...the power tool...yeah....THAT tool....:seeingstars:

1st date, just after we had placed our dinner order....

"Have you ever heard of Amway?"

Oh I've heard that on a first date. but they are just being smart-asses.

My last ex, even before she kissed me, told me she wanted us to get a motorhome and travel around Australia with me. lets throw it all away and fuck off babs, me and you.

she was serious. but she's always serious about hair brained ideas for 15 minutes till someone distracts her with a puppet.

I was "dating" this girl for over 3 months. There was nooo chemistry. We evolved into a friend thing and I thought that was mutual.
Well....she asked me to look at an apartment with her because she wanted to move. We went and looked at it and proceeded to say things like, this will be our room and this will be your girls' room...etc etc..... :|
After 3 WHOLE months of knowing each other and going on "dates" and what not...there had been no kissing no nuttin. I don't know what gave her the inkling that we would even consider living together....like ever

Reminds me of this woman that contacted me from a dating site about a year ago.

After talking on the phone and emailing twice, without asking me, she reserved a room for us on the Queen Mary and was going to fly over (she lives in Hawaii) to spend the weekend with me.

I said, no, I don't even know you and she says: "but I can tell already we have a real psychic bond".

Uh, no we didn't.

:moonstars:

(No offense to anyone with psychic abilities).

I was on a first date with this woman and we went out for dinner, she asked me odd questions that only became clear in retrospect. After dinner I asked her if she would like coffee.

She answers “So what do you think about cleaning yourself out? How about a coffee enema? I have equipment at my apartment.”

I’m like no, thank you, I just meant do you want a cup of coffee. To drink.

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date. And it is a non sequitur to ask someone if they want to come back to your apartment for a coffee enema even if they ask if you would like a cup of coffee.

So what you are trying to say is that offering to give someone a coffee enema is a shitty way to end a date? :giggle:


Katniss~~(I know, I know....low hanging fruit but I couldn't resist....)

You should seriously write your memoirs. I'd buy the fuck out of that book.

This is where having a glass eye would come in really handy.

:blink:

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw. :)

About five years ago, my mom fixed me up. That should have been the red flag right there. Anyway, this butch and I were to go on a date at Christmas time when I visited my mom and dad in Florida. So she starts calling in October. And calling and calling. When she said, "Now I have something to look forward to," that was it. I told her honestly that it was too many calls. And I was dating anyway. When I got home that Christmas, she had sent a centerpiece to my parents. Flowers and piney stuff. She called one more time, and I gently said no.

But implying that a date with a stranger gives you a reason to go on . . . uh no. Not a good idea.

I met her ex, a neighbor of my mother's. And she seems cool. But perhaps she is an ex for a reason.

LOL! Was there a second date?

I had one of those. Navy blue. Sadly, they are shutting down the manufacture of opels. :(

I have had this one.

Also, one woman told me that she was in sex and love addicts anonymous (SLAA) and that it was because she had a fear of relationships. I was like, well, OK, she seems self-aware and honest.

She then stood me up twice in a row. So, I told her that was a red flag and that I was done. She was outraged. I apparently was not sensitive to her issues. I guess I wasn't.

A woman picked me up and then ran an errand for work with me in the car and waiting while she ran in. (A version of this has happened to me so many times. I do not know what is wrong with me that this has happened so often.)

Then during coffee she tells me a story about going to her newly married ex's house and hanging out outside just to be near her. She called and told the ex the next day. The ex was freaked out and told her not to do it anymore. Then the butch asked me if I thought her behavior was stalker-like. I had to say, "Yeah, I do."

No second date.

LOL.

I would just love to hear the story of the first date.

Well, the person never mentioned that she didn't have a shower...

I went on a date with a very nice and very good looking butch....

Now, about that shower thing...uh, well, she smelled so bad I couldn't muster up any romantic feelings whatsoever.

Yes, you could say that. Not to mention she ended up constipated in her efforts.

"Wow, you're nothing like I thought you were. I mean, the pictures I took of you from the tree behind your house say nothing about your personality!"

Me: So, you never mentioned my new haircut. Do you. Like it? You can see my natural blonde streaks now.

Her: It's awful. I hate it. Looks like shit.

I focused on the live band.

Several minutes pass.


Her: Did I hurt your feelings.

Me: No, it's my hair I like it short. When menopause hit I lost 2/3 of my hair. I can't wear it long anymore. I don't have hundreds of dollars to look like a diva.

Her : you look like a man.


Me: :|

"What's your name again?"

The worst date I was on was back when I presented as female. We went to a movie then back to her house. She wanted me to see her room and she had raver beads with nazi symbols on them. Needless to say, she did not get a second date.

I have to say.....this is my new favorite thread :)

Since I didn't really "date" much (more like the serial relationship thing) through out my life....I can live vicariously :)

My husband & I are separated but still living together. He's ok with me dating. I hope that won't be a problem for you.

True story. I said the problem was that she didn't mention it until now, over drinks.

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

LOL. I had a date with her too.

I'm drawing on dating quite a while ago. All the good stuff happens in our youth.
;-)

I'm not surprised. She got around. Cuz her husband was ok with that. Lol

LOL. That's not how I'm remembering it.

Hi, Metro.

Hey, I like self-deprecating humor (when it's smart and ironic). People mistake it for low self-esteem, but it's just the opposite when it's done right. IMO

Take care,
Scout