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Kelt, no worries. Even those of us who did this stuff for a living get thrown now and then. It is literally built into the system. LOL. Medicare is a lot like Mircosoft Windows. There are always unexpected glitches that occur for one reason or another that require fixes that lead to more unexpected glitches and more fixes and more glitches and on and on. And then there are the arbitrary changes that occur every year for no discernible reason. LOL. I hear you on the no beds available thing affecting the SNF benefit. Never ran into that problem here. Even tho the benefit allows for 100 days each benefit period, the definition of what constitutes skilled "need" and "progress" has become narrower and narrower so most people only fit into a 10-20 day time frame of coverage. If you find a way around that one even for 10-20 days, would you let me know? You are correct, it takes a clear head and a lot of time to wade thru this stuff. I too worry for the elderly who do not have someone to help them. Then again, I also worry about the helpers who might not understand things either. It can end up being very costly if you make a mistake. For example, people do not generally understand how medicare D works or how to assess what coverage is best for them. And, it is not the easiest thing to explain either given the way insurance companies are changing their coverage every year. You have to assess premiums, hidden deductibles aka the no deductible for tier one drugs but a 300 deductible for tier two and three, a 40% copay for tier 4 and god only knows what for tier 5. Then explain to them that every insurance company adjusts the meds in each tier every single freakin year to maximize their profits. So every year you have to run every single freakin drug thru to find out which tier it is falling on so you know your potential cost. And add in that every single freakin insurance plan negotiates their own prices with every single pharmacy chain so your out of pocket cost varies depending on the pharmacy you use i.e. lasix at CVS will cost you 10 dollars but lasix at Walgrens will cost you 15 and lasix at Rite Aid will cost you nothing. And then you have the preferred and non preferred pharmacies which also affect out of pocket expenses. And we wont mention how you used to be able to get prescription strength over the counter drugs thru insurance for a cheaper price than buying the half the normal dose over the counter pills. Now, using the prescription plan costs 3 times the cost of buying twice the amount over the counter- wee bit of a disincentive. Every year I went thru this with my Mom. Every year it was the same thing. Took me hours to wade thru all the plans to find the best and least costly plan for her needs. Every year I would explain why I was recommending this particular plan in detail even tho I knew she had no clue what I was saying. Every year the first time she filled each of her meds I would get a phone call - last year this med cost me 10.00, this year it is 25. Why is that? It is not a pleasant topic but glad to hear you are looking into contingency plans should you be unable to make decisions about your care or handle your finances. It is not easy to plan for but I ended up doing primary and back up on the health care decisions, and completely separate co-administrators on the fiances so 2 people are required for every financial decision/transaction with an accountant monitoring them both. A trust might be easier. Not sure yet. Aging is definitely not for sissies. LOL. |
they are keeping my mom another day. i am relieved. i worry about her going home when she should still be getting treatments and care
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my ma went home yesterday. The doc told her she has got to slow down and breathe. There is new concept!
Shoots, it sounds like i am talking to myself. We really do pick up traits from our parents :kettlepot: |
I spent this weekend with my mom. She was really down about some things. Several times she expressed how frustrated she is when she can't think of a word. I told her, I do that too; my doctor told me it's menopause. Another time I told her, I sympathize; it's frustrating to not be able to think of the word you're trying to say, but it's even more so to not even be able to describe the word you're trying to say.
She did seem somewhat relieved that I understood what she was talking about. But her relief only lasted a short while - you see, she forgets what she has said, and sometimes says the same things over and over again. This symptom hasn't gotten really bad. It's possible to carry on a conversation with her. It's just that occasionally she'll bring up the same thing again, or tell the same story she told the night before, or a couple of hours ago. What really hurt this weekend, though, was the number of times she said, "You all are going to put me in a home if I keep this up." I know this really bothers her, because she mentioned it so many times. And there seems to be nothing I can say to alleviate her fear. "Yeah, I'll be right there in the home with you,", or "If they put people in a home for that, we'd all be locked up," or "You know we're never going to do that." The truth is, my sister has vowed to build a mother-in-law suite on the back of her house if it ever gets so Mom can't live by herself. And my sister can afford it. And she means it. The really awful truth is, my mother said the same thing about her mother. And my grandmother did come to live with us - for awhile - until her dementia was terrible, and she became violent. And neither Mom, nor any of us, could protect her from herself. She had to live in the state mental hospital, because no private facility would take her after the violence started. I so do not want to see my mother like that. It's too horrible to imagine - but I do imagine it. My mother is physically very healthy - which on the one hand is a blessing, but on the other? How long can she live and keep her relatively sane mind? How long will she be safe living alone in that house without my dad, who died less than a year ago? There are few good answers to these questions, and many bad ones. |
Sending GeorgiaMa'am hugs!
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Sending Ma’am LOTS of hugs! (((((((( Ma’am ))))))))
My mom was home for two days and was struggling with breathing, and ended back in the hospital. We’ve seen that her condition is exasterbated by her stress. She has no coping mechanisms (no more booze /cigarettes) and just cannot cope with every day life. She’s not numb anymore, and she’s feeling it. I asked her to ask the doc for anti anxiety medication, and she did. She started this last night. GOD please let this help her. We need her home to make the move happen. She is in an independent living facility. If she cannot be independent, I just don’t know where she will go. |
mom’s home, and her big move back to the old place is on for tomorrow.
This move HAS to happen! |
its’ my mom’s move day, she made it.
i am visualizing a smooth day with NO drama i am glad she will be across the street from the hospital and next door to a nursing home if she should need when not well. |
SHE MADE IT.. my mom has moved back into her old place.
This move is going to take a toll on her, but it’s for the best. |
my mom’s back in the hospital. the COPD is progressing, and she’s suffering. They are setting her up with oxygen and prescribing morphine to help get her through this.
She’s withering away to nothing. i’m not sure how she is still alive at this point, but then again is this really living? thoughts and prayers is all i got. |
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i hope she is comfortable that’s all. |
Next phase
Well my mom is officially in Hospice care. She’s still at home. I found out that they wanted her to go into a nursing home and she said no. (She JUST moved back to this place). i don’t think its time anyway.
So she is not to go back to the hospital. There is a big note on the fridge that says not to call 911. Hard day. |
Even though i know its not the end for my mom, i am going to see her as soon as possible.
i am so grateful for the love and support i am getting right now, i don’t think i need it as my mom is the one who is fading away, but it sure helps. My mom has been so humble and grateful. As much as i love seeing this in her, i know its her just resigning. |
Caregivers
Taking mom for the tens unit installation on Monday. I expect it to be an easy surgery with no problems.
Sunday we will celebrate her birthday. Should be a hoot. My parents gave me a good life. Nothing is perfect but I choose to be grateful for the life they gave me. It is my pleasure to pay back the kindness. |
i’ll be leaving Monday to see my mom.
Will be hard but good at the same time. |
I haven't seen my mom in almost 5 weeks! My petsitter has fallen through on me several weeks in a row. They were for perfectly legitimate reasons, but still, I am worried about my mom. We talk on the phone, but that's not the same as seeing her in person and seeing how she's really getting along on a day-to-day basis. I'm worried that she's not remembering to take her medication all the time, and that she's not remembering to eat.
I think I may have to take an extra day off work next weekend and kennel my dog. (The cat will be fine on her own at home.) If there is some reason the petsitter can't make it next weekend, I'm going to do that. |
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My sister also sees her much more often than I do, several times a week. Still, I think I notice things my sister doesn't see. |
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YES... my sister is not very caring for her own reasons (i try not to judge) and i am struggling with no being there full time. I hope you get to see your mom soon to rest your mind. |
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