My soup tastes like soap. —Jet

Epitaphs
 

Great epitaphs

"My Jesus, mercy"
Al Capone

"The best is yet to come."
Frank Sinatra

"This is the last of Earth! I am content!"
John Quincy Adams (1767 - 1848)

"A tomb now suffices him for whom the world was not enough"
Alexander the Great

"Well this was fun, let's dit again sometime."
Quniaron Bellthing (1930-2004)

"Truth and History. 21 Men. The Boy Bandit King. He Died As He Lived. William H. Bonney 'Billy the Kid'"
Billy the Kid (unknown)

"That's all, folks!"
Mel Blanc (the epithaph is the trademark line of cartoon character Porky Pig, whose voice was provided by Blanc for many years)

"Don't Try"
Charles Bukowski

"Here lies a man who knew how tenlist the service of better men than himself."
Andrew Carnegie

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
Winston Churchill

"She did it the hard way"
Bette Davis

"Nothing's So Sacred As Honor And Nothing's So Loyal As Love"
Wyatt Earp

"I had a lover's quarrel with the world"
Robert Frost

"Cast a cold eye On life, on death. Horseman, pass by!"
W. B. Yeats

"Call Me Trimtab" (A trimtab is the smallest part of a rudder for a ship or airplane, and controlls the direction of the craft. He was probably alluding how much power one individual can have in the world.)
R. Buckminster Fuller

"Hey Ram" (Translated "Oh, God")
Mahatma Gandhi

"Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty I'm Free At Last."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Workers of all lands unite. The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways; the point is to change it."
Karl Marx

"Truth to your own spirit"
Jim Morrison

"Norton I Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico"
Joshua A. Norton

"Never born, Never died: visited the planet earth between December 11, 1931 and, January 19, 1990."
Osho

"Curiosity did not kill this cat."
Studs Terkel

"I told you so, you damned fools."
H. G. Wells

"Against you I will fling myself unvanquished and unyielding, O Death!"
Virginia Woolf

"Back to silents"
—Clark Gable

"I'd rather be in Philadelphia"
—W.C. Fields

old favorite
 

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost

There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it. ~ Minnie Aumonier

A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live. ~ Bertrand Russell

for my friend
 

“Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honouring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities.”

The color of springtime is in the flowers, the color of winter is in the imagination. ~ Ward Elliot Hour

The three great elemental sounds in nature are the sound of rain, the sound of wind in a primeval wood, and the sound of outer ocean on a beach. ~ Henry Beston

Its a love that was never meant to be.
They were from two worlds.
So different, yet the same.
She called to me in this disembodied voice.
So strange and yet familiar.
She reached out to me as if it were nothing.
But we both knew the truth.
Not free to love me.
Yet, she wanted to own me.
She felt like home to me.
But I was still homeless.
I told her that loving her would be like a small death to me.
And yet, that was the only thing that would free us both.
Everytime she spoke, it was like her words were fire.
Heat. Passion. That only she could extinguish.
She stirred something in me that I never knew existed.
I begged her not to laugh at my proclamations of love and desire for her.
She said she hadnt. She said we shared the same thoughts.
"Wait, be patient", she said. I told her I would wait for her forever.
I'm still waiting.

~Me
:bdsmslave:

Singing sublimininal agnostic hymns for the deaf and blind paranoid schziophreincs!

It's a still life water color,
Of a now late afternoon,
As the sun shines through the curtained lace
And shadows wash the room.
And we sit and drink our coffee
Couched in our indifference,
Like shells upon the shore
You can hear the ocean roar
In the dangling conversation
And the superficial sighs,
The borders of our alliance.

And you read your Emily Dickinson,
And I my Robert Frost,
And we note our place with bookmarkers
That measure what we've lost.
Like a poem poorly written
We are verses out of rhythm,
Couplets out of rhyme,
In syncopated time
And the dangled conversation
And the superficial sighs,
Are the borders of our alliance.

Yes, we speak of things that matter,
With words that must be said,
"Can analysis be worthwhile?"
"Is the theater really dead?"
And how the room is softly faded
And I only kiss your shadow,
I cannot feel your hand,
You're a stranger now unto me
Lost in the dangling conversation.
And the superficial sighs,
In the borders of our alliance.


—Paul Simon, The Dangling Conversation

"All I'm gonna do is just go on and do what I feel."
Jimi Hendrix

“In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.” - Oscar Wilde

“Truth is one forever absolute, but opinion is truth filtered through the moods, the blood, the disposition of the spectator.” - Wendell Phillips

“And it's my opinion, and that's only my opinion, you are a lunatic. Just because there are a few hundred other people sharing your lunacy with you does not make you any saner. Doomed, eh?” - Oleg Kiselev

“The peculiar evil of silencing the expression of an opinion is that it is robbing the human race; posterity as well as the existing generation; those who dissent from the opinion, still more than those who hold it. If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth: if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error.” - John Stuart Mill

"No one likes a girl who won't sober up."

- Kathleen Edwards

What interests me are the post-Newtonian, extrabiologic implications of a human species able to think and act using clusters of electrons: light, in other words. If the opening act of the evolutionary drama involved a descent from light into matter and language, then it only makes sense that in the closing act, so to speak, we reunite with our photonic progenitor. The role that language - the word - will play in our light-driven metamorphosis is the furry little question that cranks my squirrel cage.

- Tom Robbins

The narrow, no-nonsense skeptic is every bit as naive as the breezy-brained New Age believer.

- Tom Robbins (again, because, shoot, y'all)

We, with our propensity for murder, torture, slavery, rape, cannibalism, pillage, advertising jingles, shag carpets, and golf, how could we seriously be considered as the perfection of a four-billion-year-old grandiose experiment?

- Tom, Again.

Well, there's always the nature boat,the art boat, the sex boat, the intoxication boat. They're bobbing at the end of nearly every pier, just waiting to ferry us across our personal doldrums, societal whirlpools, and institutional sewage lagoons. Why, the best of them can even cut the tides of mediocrity.

- Who Do Ya Think?

Love makes the world go 'round, it's true, but lust stops the world in its tracks; love renders bearable the passage of time, lust causes time to stand still; lust kills time, which is not to say that it wastes it or whiles it aimlessly away but rather that it annihilates it, cancels it, extirpates it from the continuum; preventing, while it lasts, any lapse into the tense and shabby woes of temporal society; lust is the thousand-pound odometer needle on the dashboard of the absolute.

- Ya Mama

“Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” ~ Henry Van Dyke, American Poet, Author

Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? ~ Wayne W. Dyer

Embrace

You know the parlor trick.
wrap your arms around your own body
and from the back it looks like
someone is embracing you
her hands grasping your shirt
her fingernails teasing your neck
from the front it is another story
you never looked so alone
your crossed elbows and screwy grin
you could be waiting for a tailor
to fit you with a straight jacket
one that would hold you really tight.

- Billy Collins