Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

:poc-cool:

Turkey Fowl fouls -
 

How do you get straight A's?

--->>> With a ruler. :shocking:


Why is a Math book so unhappy?

--->>> Because it's full of problems. :rubberducky:


What did one pencil say to the other?

--->>> You look sharp! :eyebat:


What do you get when you cross a pair of pants with a dictionary?

--->>> Smarty Pants. :jester:

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?


This one’s gonna sleigh you!


How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?


Nothing. It was on the house!

Saturday Santa Sillies-
 

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A Claus-terphobic

Where does Santa go to practice how to slide down chimneys?
A chimnasium.

What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
One slays the dragon, and the other is draggin’ the sleigh.

Ks- :)

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
-Nothing, it was on the house!

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
-A Christmas Quacker!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
-A Holly Davidson!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
-Horn-aments!

Happy Holidays to the many Corny Joke family!

Ks-

My final 2018 Corny Joke post-
 

What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
They got 12 months.

To all who have enjoyed reading this thread and for those of us who have entertained you: A laugh is a smile that bursts!

All the best 2019! Ksrainbow-

2019!
 

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before.
What can I get you?” “Pop,” goes the weasel.

Visitor at a ranch says to a cowboy, “Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?”
The cowboy replies, “No, we just let them go barefoot.”

I started a web page on a social media site to help those in need in the poultry industry...
Its called: "Help us make hens meet"

Ks-

*My mood ring is missing and I don't know how to feel about that*

*Cow stumbles into a pot field, the steaks have never been higher*

*Irony. The opposite of wrinkly*

Ks- :)

vegan vs. vegetarianism
 

There is a lot of talk of the virtues of being vegan vs. vegetarianism,
I think this is all a missed steak.

:)

Gone to the dogs...
 

At the dog park, a lady had two rather large rottweiler dogs.

Being asked the dogs’ names by another park visitor she replied, “one is
called Timex and the other Rolex.”

"Wow, those are some strange names for dogs!" the visitor replied.

“Not really,” the dog owner replied, “they’re watch dogs.

Ks- :dog:

I have to let you all know... This thread is one of my happy places.

What did the duck detective say to his partner?
Let's quack this case!

Pun 1
 

I went to that new Mary Poppins restaurant last night.
Super cauliflower cheese, the lobster was atrocious.

Pun 2
 

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.

Things got a little tense.

Pun 3
 

Before buying a dildo you should think long and hard.

Pun 4
 

Not all math puns are bad. Just sum.

Pun 5
 

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

Pun 6
 

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.

I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

Pun 7
 

I can’t remember how to write 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.

I’m LIVID.

Pun 8
 

I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki.

I dropped her off at work one day
and she just vanished into Finnair...

Pun 9
 

This bloke said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.”

I said, “Is that a fret?”....

Pun 10
 

This is my 10th pun, and last pun for awhile...

So, I sent ten different puns to my online "friends",
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

:byebye:

Q. What kind of bunny can’t hop?
A. A chocolate one!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny!

Q. What did the bunny get for her basket?
A. Two points! :basketball:

:poc-cool:

What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

Who do you call when a rabbit needs a hair cut?

The Hare Dresser.

........:giggle:..........

Ya know I most likely have:
 

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.



Ks- :thinking:

Me to my plumber yesterday after agreeing on a price for some work.

"I'll see you and your CRACK team of workers tomorrow."

Naturally, I was laughing my ass off in my indoor voice. He did not get it.

Something is a foul*-
 

Did you hear about the chicken who counted eggs?

She's known as a Mathamachicken-

What do chickens serve at birthday party's?

Coop-cakes-

What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?

A Hensemble-

Ks- :cluck:

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?


Eileen

~~:putting:
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?



In case he got a hole in one.

Jokes
 

How do you keep a bull from charging?

Cut up his Visa card