what are you healing from? are you trying to find forgiveness towards yourself or towards others? its a long hard road sylvie but once you get there you will know it. Good luck on your journey.

waking up in the morning to a smokeless future :|

My friend, whom I've known since teens has sepsis and pneumonia. The pneumonia isn't clearing well. There are nodules in her lungs that are probably from rheumatoid arthritis. They obscure the x-ray. She will have bronchoscopy tomorrow, and plan to do savage, a washing out of cells. Oh God, this sounds so suspicious of cancer. Her daughter called me. Calls each day. I told her my fear. She was thinking the same thing.

I feel like I did in May, when I waited to finally hear of my sister's cancer. It is hard to breathe. But when I can do so deeply, I will go outside, stand in the middle of the street and scream. Yell to the universe., to G-d, to that Great Nothingness, "No can't have them yet. I won't let you. No."

How I wish it wasn't so impossible for me to share something of myself, to both love and hate the same thing in myself, and to not feel so trapped inside certain aspects of myself. Or perhaps I'm just growing tired of myself in general.

[/rant fueled by annoyance with self and general situation]

His tragic death, 12 years ago

im remolding a kitchen and in dreading going into the crawl space un the house to re run some plumbing... i think theres critters under there.

A special SuperDork is on my mind.
It's been a rough day all around for him.
He needs hugs, kisses & capn crunch.

Oh and a face rub.

:gimmehug::ohm::lips:

Thuddy.

for starters.

What's on my mind ?
 

wanting to play, instead of work. that's what's on my mind :o

since I doubt anyone thread stalks me; I will have to do it myself

I would tell You that I stalk You, but then You'd go and get all maniacal on me..... :eyebat:

And....
 

finding some where to cheap to move into so my family quits complaining