|
What's on my mind....
Dowloading new music for my ipod this evening. Sleeping in those new flannel sheets tonight. Hey, don't hate, a gy's gotta keep warm somehow when hys girl's not around. Printing off "great-grandbaby" pictures and mailing them out to that great-nana today along with a Halloweenie card! Desperately needing to do laundry and wishing the machines on-sight didn't rip folks off. Then I could just do them here in my apartment building. Getting some good uninterupted sleep tonight. Wanting to buy some boots Going scrounging at Goodwill Not enough time in the day to do half of these things................. |
finally getting the opportunity to sleep for a few hrs without interruption.. When my mind chooses this time to run rampant. So much to do and so little time to do it in. Shhh mind just rest for now.. Please?
|
Thinking about the homework that is due tonight for my Computer Logic's class
Tired of trying to be everything to everyone, but when I am in need, I get nothing. Wish I could work on my art today instead of doing homework. appreciating how wonderful my life is enjoying petting the kitten who is laying in the hammock of my nightgown |
Getting really flippin tired of feeling stagnant. I'm a freakin athlete. Have been most all of my life. I miss the action. I want to get back into something and yet the "fear" of reinjuring my knee seems to be boss and the deciding factor. I really can't allow my mind to trip on this so damn much anymore. I know it hurts, and aches and swells when I do exercise or sports but freakin A, it does all those things when I sit at work all day too.
I haven't gotten "back in the ring" so to speak because my biggest fear is that I can't use that leg for support and balance and I don't want to twist it or damage it again. I've been through two surgeries already and the talk is that I may be going back in January for round three. The initial surgery was to repair the torn ACL and damaged meniscus. They have been fixed. I have the ability to build and strengthen again, I'm just letting my mind play tricks on me. I think right now is the perfect time to check it out, challenge it. Going back into surgery in January.anyway so why not use this time to do what I have been fearing for some time now. Okay I convinced myself! I'll start out slow of course. Work on some stamina, strength and endurance. Some limited amount of speed rope, pick up the pace walking to and from work, stretch routines and light weights... I'm going to get back into what sustains me. I need it. I know I will feel better about myself and maybe eventually get back into martial arts, perhaps to the level of competition again... :praying: |
I know it's not the same, totally different activity, but have you considered or would you consider swimming?
Quote:
|
Messages for others...Fresh starts, new beginnings and new horizons only a decision away.
|
Quote:
|
I've got myself back on track this morning...Heading to work in a bit...but, right now, how do I choose to spend my last hour before reporting to duty? Boot shopping on ShoeMall...I am blaming this one on Gaige. Your fault, that's right Baby, it is all your fault. ;) :stillheart:
Maybe I can rope you into shopping for boots with me this weekend...After all, it will be well into jeans and boots season by the time you get here! Hmmm? |
Girl. Mom. Doctors. Homework. Labs. Peppa.
|
Well nothing was until just now, but its alot at the moment ...........
Well I just got off the phone with my boss, and we had a long talk. I knew I was doing well at my job and the two people I worked with had nothing but good things to say about me, however I was told that he didn't think that this job was for me. Retail, long hours on your feet etc is not a job for everyone and with this particular job because usually only one person is working ~ there are no real breaks. He wont let you sit down, even just for a few mins at a time when there are no customers and after standing for 6 hours at a time my feet become very sore no matter how much I walk or pace or try tricks that others have recommended (and I did). He was willing to cut down my hours and had given me 5 hours yesterday instead of 7, but still felt that this job probably isn't one for me. I'm pretty bummed and disappointed that it came down to this, but maybe it is for the better. I was doing good and am glad that I stuck it out even if it only lasted 3 days; he said to me if I can get myself to feeling better and want to try again down the road he's more than willing to let me come back but for now its best if I find something more suited to what I can do physically. I guess he's right, atleast I tried and even he said that ~ luckily he's a nice guy or else I think this would be worse. I've gotta keep my chin up and remind myself that everything happens for a reason; I will just start putting my resume out to office jobs and call centres and possibly see if I can get funding for school. I will NOT let this get me and and I WILL make it to the Reunion next year come hell or high water; not this or anything else will get me down and I certainly won't let this knock me down. Got alot on my mind right now, just gotta breathe and think. |
wait a minute now....first things first...compression stockings? good shoes?
do you have these Leigh? pardon me for being so forward. Do keep your chin up. it is better to have tried and it not be a good fit ...than to have not tried at all. Not trying is worse. Sounds to me like this could be a case of not having good shoes for that job. Hell, i know for me, when i started a new job...one which entailed me to be on my feet all day long... it took some time to get used to that! You keep your chin up. Seriously. I was just going to post that i am grateful for my integrity and courage among the crashing waves. and for the strength to handle my various difficulties and make progress. also, grateful for the new people, in my life that, have assisted me in that progress. |
|
I am so blessed. I'm surrounded by wonderful people, on and offline.
I have a career that I love, even though it's extremely demanding. Don't think I would have it any other way.(f) Duchess |
enjoying the cool weather and wondering what fall is like in Oregon. Excited that my 6 month probationary period ends next Tuesday. I really love my job and that makes all the difference in the world.
Wondering how Hy is doing tonight. This week has been so very hard for Hym. One thing after another. I'm trying very hard not to be a burden. I just want to support Hym in what Hy is going through. Also on my mind is how everyone in the house including DamonK now is sick. I feel like a rerun of Snow's week of the reunion. I'm hoping I feel better soon. One day I start feeling think I'm feeling better and the next I'm wiped out again Hoping I feel good in the morning cause I'm going in for mandatory overtime. |
that I would whore myself out (or chrissy for that matter) to have a doggie door put in the house
|
Pardon my rant for just one moment ..........
Ok so I just read this story on yahoo, and the darn thing simply boggles my mind. Alright so let me explain the story as best I can; a television news anchorwoman in Wisconsin named Jennifer Livingston received an email from a man named Kenneth Krause; now the nature of this email wasn't a very nice one let me tell you that much. You see, Jennifer is what Kenneth considers "overweight" (and believe me I don't see it) and his email was nothing short of rude and unacceptable. He sends her an email, firstly telling her that he questioned whether or not she was a suitable example for the community's young people (mainly girls) saying that *quote* "obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain." Choice?!?!?!?! Does he honestly think we "choose" to be fat? To be ridiculed constantly? To be looked at by society as less than simply because we are not smaller? I don't see how we "choose" to do that to ourselves. Jennifer went on tv to talk about bullying and and how it is not acceptable but Kenneth refused to take back what he said; he didn't see how he had said anything wrong. A picture along with the story shows Mr. Krause posing with a bike showing off his biceps (which is fine, no harm there) but the fact that he criticized her weight and then circles a picture of him looking all buff etc just seems like a slam to me. Then, as another slap in the face, Kenneth then issued this response to Jennifer's on tv speech: "Given this country's present epidemic of obesity and the many truly horrible diseases related thereto, and considering Jennifer Livingston's fortuitous position in the community, I hope she will finally take advantage of a rare and golden opportunity to influence the health and psychological well-being of Coulee Region children by transforming herself for all of her viewers to see over the next year, and, to that end, I would be absolutely pleased to offer Jennifer any advice or support she would be willing to accept." WTF are you serious? He's basically telling her in order to be a better role model she has to lose weight! Maybe she IS already being a role model, by letting children know that its okay to be who YOU are no matter who that is and be proud of yourself. Isn't she showing others that you can be anything you wanna be in this life regardless of your looks (or anything else)? Apparently he says he has been fighting obesity since he was a child; okay I get that but then to go after her like that when HE more than most people should know better? What sort of example is HE showing to the children in their community (including his)? None obviously. Sorry but this just gets to me ~ no one has any right to do what he did; yeah okay he issued an apology BUT his apology began with these words and I quote "If she is offended, I truly apologize to Jennifer,". Wow *IF* she was offended? How the hell could you not be? Ughhhhhhhhhhhh what the hell is wrong with this world today? :| Anyways I'll end the rant now but this bullying shit has GOT to stop, and it begins with us adults setting a good example for our children and the younger generation! |
NO doubt and ditto on the needing to exercise again. a regimen again. weights and all. I broke my toe on a table and that screws things up a bit.....
Got my punching bag up and ...damn my toe was sore. so annoying. trying not to do certain activities so it will heal faster and then wondering...does it matter or not if i try to take it easy. And then, not able to. grateful that it is just a toe. very grateful. Like today there is so much to do and college football sounds good. and if that is all someone can do is pick on someone for their weight and not see the person for who they are then ....they have serious issues and it is that person's loss. judging a book by it's cover is not a conducive method to understanding what is inside the book. and if one judges...one will never find out...what is inside when those kind of people voice their shallowness and blindness...i consider myself fortunate to know what they are truly like...so, i know not to waste energy on them. (it is a gift from the universe) i got shit to do and i want coffeeeeeee Oh, and i was thinking that putting in a doggy door would be a good thing to do today instead.. |
:candle: My mom. I am hoping she will recover. Again. It is asking so much. I just don't want to consider the alternatives.
|
oh i wish i could make the half way reunion... the reunion looked like so much fun i told myself i would make the next one!!! but the half way reunion dates are already taken.. its the bigest yearly motorcycle rally here, my family and friends will be coming in from all over the states so guess i better be here!! but i will defentely be at the yearly reunion.
|
my needing to pick a date to start teaching.
Why am i scared to death? |
Where I want to move to in PA. Close by hopefully.
|
on my mind tonight is how much I miss hym. It's been a long week and I'm finally feeling better but being away from hym this long really sucks.
|
Mind? I've lost mine!!! I want it back!!!
:blink: |
a conversation Sat..
my stomache hurts |
My backbone seemed to have misplaced and whoever finds it if you could kindly return it to me I will be very appreciative. The pain I am feeling is also on my mind.
|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RLJw...yer_embedded#!
You got the wrong score card sweetheart...you are not the ONLY judge. HUGS And that is not how everyone else sees you...HUGS "Tell Yourself" I know what you tell yourself, you tell yourself. Look in the mirror, look in the mirror what does it show? I hear you counting I know you're adding. adding up the score. I know, oh yes I know what you tell yourself, Tell yourself. Ever since Eden we're built for pleasing everyone knows And ever since Adam cracked his ribs and let us go I know, oh yes I know what you tell yourself Tell yourself Who taught you how to lie so well And to believe in each and every word you say? Who told you that nothing about you is alright It's just no use, it's just no good you'll never be O.K.? Well I know, I know that wrong's been done to you "It's such a tough world," that's what you say Well I know, I know it's easier said than done But that's enough girl, give it away, Give it, give it all away Tell yourself that you're not pretty Look at you, you're beautiful. Tell yourself that no one sees Plain Jane invisible me, just tell yourself Tell yourself you'll never be Like the anorexic beauties in the magazines Just a bargain basement Barbie Doll No belle du jour, no femme fatale Just tell yourself Tell yourself there's nothing worse Than the pain inside and the way it hurts But tell yourself it's nothing new Cause everybody feels it too They feel it too ...sometimes And there's just no getting 'round The fact that you're thirteen HUMAN right now |
However, your score card is...
the most important one... the only one that matters... so....baby your a firework so....tell yourself the truth of what you are really worth. Give that Gift To Yourself Please http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/...IREWORK+LYRICS |
Still baffled with the maintainance guy at the shelter for locking away the large 50 gallon garbage bags. He's out for the remainder of the week due to medical procedures that he had to have yesterday and the place is in an uproar over the lack of garbage bags. I mean really... You do not have a monopoly on the damn things!! Well, actually he did but staff had to run out and buy an extra box because the bulk amounts of bags are MIA. He does the same thing with the freakin' toilet paper and paper towel dispenser rolls... Not cool buddy... We will be having a talk when you return.
Ummm not by my choice but other staff figured out that when I ask for things to happen around the place it happens immediately!! |
With the holidays approaching and after a day spent in the hospital family is on my mind. I have always been family oriented. I was always taught family came first and as the eldest that was how I lived my 45 years. I came back to my home town in Feb of this year and see my bio-family only when they choose, want something from me, or need something from me that only I can provide. Oh let's not forget to get in my face about my sexuality. Yet I still hold out hope that it will change. That it will at least go back to the way it was when my grandmother was alive and we had holiday family dinners together. Instead of spending them alone. My grandmother had 12 children and each of those had at least 5 adn each of those at least 5 we are in our 7th generation here so I have a very large extended family here that supposedly believes in family first blood first yet I know I will be spending the upcoming holidays alone or with strangers. Okay done with my humbug thoughts.
|
wondering ...
Noticing friends can be blatantly honest sometimes ...hmmmm Trying to figure out my next step with the given information. Realizing the stupidity of certain choices One day at a time... |
my girl and how awesome and sweet she is. :)
|
how i woke up with a smile this morning after a quick ride into mexico.. the weather wasnt the best the wind was crazy. it wore my azz out an felt great. slept better then i have in weeks!
|
Short rant
Any volunteers to drag me kicking and screaming to my eye app't today?? I don't wannaaaaaaa gooooooooooo:watereyes::hiding:
|
I took my oldest (18 going on 19 in Dec) to cash her check....and brought her to her BFs....she turned back to me as she walked up to the door...because I wait till she gets there....like I always have...and probably always will...she smiled at me...and I saw a glimpse of her as the little girl she used to be....and it made me wonder...where did the years go?? It seems like only yesterday she fit in my arms...my hand could hold her little feet...and now she works....and is thinking about buying a house with her boyfriend....it's so beyond me.....
|
The hard conversations. The results of them. The emotions caused by them.
|
What's on my mind...
Another busy work weekend ahead. This night is on the downslide... coffee pot is preset, lunch is premade and I am prerelaxed. Errr ummmm, scratch that... I'm chillin' with last night's Survivor on cbs.com. Missin' my girl wicked bad and looking forward to seeing her in two weeks. I really dislike rushing through my days for something in the future but.... but, I just want to be in her presence, in her space. I want to be home with her... |
This body pain sucks...it's one of those sunday mornings...still groggy and need more coffee. I would much rather be in bed with her crawling on top of me or vice versa...kisses and snuggles and taking care of my hard cock cause it is her job. I miss that sunday morning...stop the world, in bed, for each other time.
There were other things on my mind. Not anymore. ...And the day is overcast and a warm front has moved in. No excuses to not get out there and pickup some leaves and other work. No more day dreaming. |
do I help my daughter in her quest or do I let her achieve it on her own.......
I want her to be happy and live her life...... If I do help am I helping cause it is the right thing to do or I can see her fall :deepthoughts::watereyes::wallbreak: |
Damn 009 distributor and timing the damn thing with just a tachometer and an ear and angles...be nice to have a timing light and a tach...it's all good though..i am such a perfectionist and a stickler to detail and correctness that it isn't really a good thing to be so much of a perfectionist to a fault. At least i have learned this and to live and let live and give it to God and to chill the f*** out and to learn that i am not in control...ew..blah...yuck
|
as I stood looking at the view as the sun comes up it hits me that this is one of the last times I will see it
over the years I have come and gone I have always returned to look out and take in the morning view It hits me ....I will be sad for me I am headed to a place I never dared to dream for my daughter it is a loss of years building a life ..... she plans to stay and build another she will always have a home with me as I have more than one dwelling I want her to be happy and fly The view holds more than anyone could ever know..... for her I can not speak as I could only guess what the vew holds for her I go into the future I tread lightly as the future unfolds |
| All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:50 PM. |
ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018