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lol, so cute!
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What do you call a bird in the winter?
(Brrr-d!) Why are pirates called pirates? (They just arrrrrgh!) |
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[COLOR="Blue"] [This guy was driving along a country road. Along the side of the road he sees a sign: "Apples, $5.00 each." So he pulls over to the side of the road and asks the farmer why his apples are so expensive. The farmer says, "Well, these are peanut butter and jelly apples." So the guy buys one. He says, "These apples only taste like jelly, where's the peanut butter?" The farmer says, "Turn the apple over and take a bit of the other side." Sure enough the other side tasted like peanut butter.
So he continues on his way and along the side of the road he sees another sign: "Apples, $20.00 each." So he gets out and asks the farmer why these apples are so expensive. "These are ham and cheese apples," the farmer says. So the guy buys one. The apple only tasted like ham, so he asked the farmer why and he said, "Turn the apple over and you will taste the cheese." Then he is driving down the road again and he sees another sign: "Apples, $50.00 each." So he asks the farmer, "What's up with these apples being so expensive?" The farmer tells him they are p***y apples. So the guy buys one. He takes a bite into the apple and says "This apple tastes like s**t!" And the farmer says, "Turn it over."/COLOR] |
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What was the most popular dance in 1776?
The IndepenDANCE What do you call a duck that says bang? A firequacker What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing, it just waved. Happy 4th of July! |
Q: What is a astronaut's favorite place on the notebook?
A: The space bar! Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive. What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips. Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows. A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." |
Happy 4th!
Teacher : "Where did they sign the Declaration of Independence?"
Student: "At the bottom!" Q: What did the colonists wear at the Boston Tea Party? A: Tea-shirts! Q: How do you have a good 4th? A: You buy a 5th on the 3rd. ;) |
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Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Because he's a fun-guy.
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