singles and dating sites
 

I have been on a bit of a frenzy joining butch femme dating sites in addition to POF, Match, Pink cupid, etc.

so, here is what I have realized, the same people (including me)are all on the same sights. Many times with different names, different ages, etc.

I think that I have to dump some of them because seeing all the same people is beginning to seem weird to me. I also realize that if I focus on one or two I am not missing out on anyone to meet.

Not sure this is for me, I haven't seen anyone "grab" me yet. lol

have a nice night

I feel much the same. I see the same faces... sometimes with different names and details. They weren't interested in me on THAT site, so I figure they aren't likely to be interested in me on the next one either... yet friends keep saying "don't give up". I'm kind of ready to say. THEN YOU PICK THEM.

None the less... single makes for lonely late nights. So here I am.

I haven't tried a dating site. I am not super motivated. Sometimes it sucks being single. Other times I am grateful that I am single. Tonight I am grateful.

Mel, I find that single is more entertaining and sustainable when I have more time in my social calendar. When I am busy and rushing around from one thing to the next I wish just a little for someone to listen and warm arms at night.

I love my life and everything I have going right now, but it would be so much more rewarding if I could share my accomplishment, my worries and stresses, my joy and my hopes for the future.

I understand Jenn. I am cynical at the moment (perhaps a bit longer than a moment). I remember the ways that being partnered was wonderful. I just want no part of it currently. I may change my mind tomorrow, but for today I am not interested in dating sites or dating in general.

I wouldn't mind sharing :wine: with a friend though. Friends are good

I definitely flutter between wanting to be partnered and enjoying singledom. And sometimes it changes by the day.

I think what I miss most is feeling like someone is there. And cuddling at night.

I believe we have plans to do that in about a month!! Looking forward to it.

Yea, who will all be at the Reunion? I'm looking forward to it.

I had my boss officially sign off on my PTO today. With airfare and hotel booked, I'm ready to go!

Unlesss there are unforseen circumstances, I will be there

A cuddle buddy would be nice.

randrum I am very excited to get a hug from you too!!

Wrangler, you and me both sweety... that's one of the things I miss the most when I'm single.

greaaaaaat...all the talking and reading about it has me missing it too.

I made some goodies for y'all!

Cookies, cake, pie, etc. Have at it and I also stocked the fridge again and there is wine, beer in there as well as other alcoholic stuff.

I grabbed a rum and diet coke. tyvm

You are welcome very much!

So....we are without chat (which kills me since I JUST started going back in) and I have some questions. Where did you meet your ex (any/all)?

My longest relationship was with someone I met on the dash site.

My concern is that by being an introvert who tends to hermit, I am missing out on relationships (romantic and otherwise). I'd like ideas....still not looking for a relationship but more b-f friends would be awesome.

I have attempted to start a few relationships from this community and the dash site, but they haven't really gone far enough to count... with one exception.

My longest relationship since I came out was someone I met while I was in college.

I can hermit some too... and even when I do go out, I seem to stick to just me. I don't like crowds... unless I'm on stage. I have been really trying to step outside my box and make grown-up friends lately, but its hard. So I get where your coming from.

I've met partners in a variety of places. Mainly online but also in high school and college and at a bar. Oh, and at a recruiter's office.

The older I get, the more introverted I think I'm becoming. When I'm approached with a social setting, I'm good and mingle, but I don't actively seek it out. It's not because I don't want to; it because I don't want to take a chance with my life.

Seriously.

They drive crazzzzzy here.

Like number 2 or 3 in the worst cities to drive in national study kind of crazy.

Also, I don't have a counterpart to go with me. Not necessarily a romantic thing but it's good to have someone there for support and security. The world isn't what it used to be.

All you have to do is travel to the East coast! I can't help with everything but I'm a good snuggler and partner in crime. :)

Hey ProfPacker, I think you're right; it's the same pool of people in most of the sites, or let's say if you made a Venn diagram of all the sites, there would be more overlap than not.

I have a theory that it's more productive to look for communities you gel with, than individuals.

Have you tried MeetUp?

I met my last ex online, through Match.com.

The one before that was in college, through a mutual friend.

I have a hard time getting out and meeting people. I'm definitely an introvert. And I'm much more comfortable at home than out and about. So for me to go to a bar, or some place like that, would not work.

I am going to say this out loud for the first time...

I do enjoy being single because I don't have to cook for anyone and nobody is showing me that I can clean the corners of the hall.

Although my dogs cuddle with me and I have no space at night, I miss a human body cuddling with me.

I have slept alone for almost a year, and its not fun.

But I realized today, that the person that will win my heart, has to be that amazing special person because I am an amazing special person

The person that will side with you even when you're wrong, the person that would do anything for you
.. yeah, that is me. And it was just today that I realized how precious that quality was.

Until I meet somebody that deserves me, I'm not jumping. And, I have never had casual sex so that ain't now happening either.

Being Single
 

I have never had a relationship due to social anxiety disorder being severe in my teens and 20s. Now In my 30s I have reached a place I can date or have a relationship. But my inexperience is a major wall between me and women. A wall I cant see but they can and when they do they high tail it outta here lol.

I covered this issue more in depth in a topic i posted in the Dating forum so I wont repeat it. But it definately sucks when your told how amazing you are , how cute etc. And when they ask about experience I dont have but one brief date earlier this year. I go from an amazing woman to discard pile.

Its very lonely honestly . Never having recieved affection at all makes me feel like im in some sort of bubble. Hell only affection I ever got was holding hands earlier this year with the one woman I dated briefly that had social anxiety to. I cant put into words how nice it was just for someone to hold my hand. Might sound pathetic , but when you have been lonely as long as I have its just the way it is.

But I havent lost faith theres someone for me somewhere. But they will have to beable to accept me they way iam , inexperience and all. I think Im a pretty good catch myself ;)

Being single does not bother me. I have my life, my career, my animals, etc.

If someone wants to be in my life AND there is chemistry, ok. If not, I am good with me.

To be honest, I have been asked out or even "bulliex" by butcher and guys.

Let me just say that if you feel the need to TRY to "bully me into your life"... it will NEVER happen. I am not desperate. And, if "the one" never cones along, I'm good.

I think I can relate. I didn't date in High School or College. Most of my "dating" was a short stretch years ago when I first identified as butch. I stayed self-medicated with alcohol, which luckily didn't back-fire. I still don't feel well equipped to "date," but I'm trying to socialize more. I think my goal is to build friendships and if one of those friendships leads to dating, great. Not sure how I will handle it when I get to that point, but I have time to figure it out.

Evening Singles!

I am just here to drop off more goodies and stock the fridge with drinks!

I have been watching the conversation in here and I think it's a great one to have! Keep up the dialog!

It was nice to hear from Mel C. and Mormegil today. Because I feel the same way.

I didn't date at all in HS. And only a little in college. I've had 2 girlfriends ever. And I don't feel like I am equipped to date. I don't feel I know how to go about it.

I haven't been on a date in 4 years. And while, in my mind, I have an idea of what I am looking for. And an idea of how I think it should feel, or progress. I also feel totally out of my league when it comes to the actual reality of the situation.

I think that's why a lot of times I shy away further from social interaction.

I tell myself it's about quality not quantity, but just how long is long enough for nookie????? :|

Randrum , MelC , Thanks for responding. And I can relate to not feeling equipped to date so to say. But the feeling I get from the women that get to know me is that they just dont want to teach or they dont know how to handle me. And Ive been told the latter by one " i just dont know what to do with you , I dont want to scare you"

That right there is super annoying that 95% of them have said something similar along the lines of me being afraid. And until they pulled the truth out of me about my dating past , they didnt even know. And never said anything like that and treated me normal.

Its like suddenly Im untouchable and they make up all this in their heads. Its crazy. Thing is its so simple , Iam no different than anyone else except I havent had sex or dated extensively. Thats it.

And as far as my ability to date . If im brave enough to ask you out , get your number and txt you or try to get your attention . doesnt that mean Im willing to you know...date you? Or atleast attempt friendship , heck they dont even want to be friends after they find out. Their excuses are annoying and their running out of new ones lol

Sometimes I wonder if its my area. Who knows lol

YES! THIS! I would love to find someone within traveling distance that really goes somewhere.

I also really agree with the 90 day rule. That is generally my rule for meeting the kids. You have to be around for at least 3 months.

Good Evening Everyone,

It has been two months since I've had an contact with my ex. It hurts but it is what I need to be happy! I'm still putting my life back together and one of my old coworkers in Orlando, is helping me to find a job there 😀.

Have a great night!

Zimmeh and Babygirl

Hye zimmy...well...juz wanna stop by n say....hi all....i'm yanz....well...wats can i describe bout myself?...hummm....ok...i'm butch....being single for at least 4 years...join diz forum to mert a firiend dats i can share thought n opinions....i was being so empty n lonely lately...dun noe y.....well...dats it bout me...

Friday night at home....B-O-R-I-N-G! I don't need a date, but friends would be nice!

I brought goodies again and yes some sugar free stuff too!

Restocking the fridge and wine bar right now for y'all!

Good Evening Everyone! I'm sitting under the blankets and watching, "Inside The American Mob" on Netflix. It's a pretty cool show.

Leaving you all a bunch of unhealthy goodies to snack on 😀

Zimmeh

Good night Everyone!

Zimmeh

I'm so tired! I volunteered at a fundraiser for at-risk youth, including homeless gay and lesbian teens. While I was happy to contribute to a worthy cause, I couldn't help but notice that there were a lot of couples AND that the average age was late 20's to early 30's. This is certainly not my demographic so I pose the following questions:

1) When you feel like you are the only single person, how do you deal with it (avoid the scenario, embrace your singleness, etc)?

2) Do you attend events if you know only 5-10% are in your age group?