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:jester:

The color of your belt should match the color of your shoes.

yeah,yeah,yeah, getting a big dinner and dont have to cook or clean (but ill offer) just have to walk across the street!!

Pick a card - any card
 

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got up this morning it wasw 20 deg
the toilet was so cold i couldnt pee
i made a grocery list
i checked it twice
the lines were so long
came home with just beer and ice
ran back in the house to finish what i started
now the seat was so warm i wish we never parted.

ok yea i need a drink..zzzz

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lol wheres clinton!!

How do y'all know the difference between someone flirting with you and someone having fun with a friend?

i've had this conversation many times over the past year or so, since being in an online community again.

The consensus is that i flirt, a lot. With a lot of people. But, my reality is that i flirt with 2 people here. 2. Seriously.

Only....i'm not meaning to flirt at all, usually. In my mind, i am having fun joking with people i consider to be e-friends, or responding to a great post that made me laugh (or think). But it is taken as flirting..... :seeingstars:

Wonder if i put a disclaimer on each snippet/message/conversation:

"This is rav being friendly. she is not flirting. Really."

Do y'all think that would help??

:eatinghersheybar:

Hi rav,

I think (my opinion only) that what's flirting to one isn't necessarily flirting to another.

At the same time, if you're getting this feedback a lot, then you might want to consider how you're coming across. I don't think adding a disclaimer on everything you say is needed, or even helpful.

For example....if several (or many) people tell me that I am coming across as angry, or negative, or bitchy, or *pick the adjective of your choice*, then me saying "I'm not being negative or..." on everything I say isn't going to convince anyone either.

If I'm getting that feedback (especially from people who actually like me), then I probably should sit with that and consider it for awhile. I may or may not change my behavior...because that's up to me, not anyone else. If I choose not to, then I may need to be prepared for the repercussions however.

Just my .02 :rrose:

:dance2::dance2::dance2::dance2: gona have some turKEY...gona have some turKEY

Good points Jo. i was thinking, while posting, about something i learned a while back, about how sometimes someone says one thing and it's taken to mean something completely different by the person hearing it. Neither is "wrong", just different.

i was picked on by a friend many many months back about my flirting style, and it caught me off-guard because i hadn't been flirting! She said, basically, ohhhh helllll yeah you have been too! So i asked the specific person if they considered our interactions as flirting, and she said yes but only in a friendly way....she knew i wasn't coming on to her or anything like that.

That's what got me thinking and talking about it all. i think i don't really get the boundaries (or something...not sure of the right wording). i mean, ok...if they have a gf.....i would never do or say anything to anyone that i was being friendly with behind the gf's back that i wouldn't say in front of the gf. i guess that's one reason i don't consider it flirting.

A friend helped me understand it once, and though i can't remember the exact wording (i *knew* i shoulda made notes!!) i figured out that i consider it flirting only if there are "i'm hitting on you" undertones to the bantering. Just laughing and talking...that's people being friendly....to me, anyway.

But back to the point.... it's true....doesn't matter my intentions or lack thereof....what matters is how it is taken. And i am indeed paying attention to the message and sitting with it.

i don't know if i *can* change the way i am....i'm just friendly! But, i can curtail my interactions if i know it's making other(s) uncomfortable, for sure.

:hippie:

wow myself i think flirting makes the world a much more interesting place!! as long as it doesnt go to far or lead to any cheating or relationship problems or become offensive to either.

I hear ya' ...and that's where things get tricky. We all have different measures about what's flirting, what's friendly, etc. I think that's why it's important for everyone to take responsibility for their own feelings. If someone is doing something that makes me uncomfortable, then it's on me to speak up before it becomes a problem.

For me, I try to reverse it. I ask myself...if Scoote was saying or doing this (whether it's in front of me or not), would I feel like it was innocent and okay? If not, then I won't do it or say it.

It isn't that she controls my behavior (she'll be the first to tell you I'm completely uncontrollable :giggle: )...it's just one way that I can look at what I'm doing through a different lens.

My kitchen is calling, so I better get back in there.
Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving! :)
(and :chocolate: ....just becauase!)

i love you people.

(that was rav being silly.....her way of saying thank you to the cute lil notes that are making her smile. she doesn't wanna jump your bones (or...well..have you jump hers, but anyWAY)..... i do have love in my heart for all you people).