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-   -   what NOT to do in a relationship....... (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1808)

JustJo 04-13-2011 07:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassy_girl (Post 319016)
Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!
And really do try to get over that one before you get into the next one....it isn't fair to either person to have an invisible third person in the relationship.

Remember that the opposite of love isn't hate....it's indifference. If you have emotions tied up with the ex, and can't be indifferent to their actions....then you aren't really over them yet.

AtLast 04-13-2011 10:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJo (Post 319049)
And really do try to get over that one before you get into the next one....it isn't fair to either person to have an invisible third person in the relationship.

Remember that the opposite of love isn't hate....it's indifference. If you have emotions tied up with the ex, and can't be indifferent to their actions....then you aren't really over them yet.
Yup! Deal & heal before moving on! I am not going to help you work through your last relationship and I don't want to be compared to an ex. Be good to yourself and take some time before dating again and pursuing someone else seriously.

msW8ing 04-13-2011 01:27 PM
YES!!! Nobody wants to live with the "ghosts of relationships past" or hear constantly about how and what your ex did. I am NOT them nor do I wish to be compared to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassy_girl (Post 319016)
Don't keep talking about your ex for Goddess sake! I would like to respect that relationship but if you keeping bringing them up it no longer appears you are over it!

Duchess 04-13-2011 07:30 PM
Don't cheat or play people. The shit will eventually hit the fan.:seeingstars:

Duchess

Jess 04-13-2011 07:41 PM
I have done so many "NOTS" that I am still looking for the "what TO do in a relationship" thread...

The only thing I know for sure NOT to do, is...

Do NOT think for a minute that anything is the same as any past relationship. Every day and every event is new and just because past experiences had (A) result, this new one is completely different and may have (B) result.

Trying open-mindedness is always the best answer for me regarding relationships. That... and faith.

Good luck folks!

girl_dee 04-13-2011 07:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess (Post 319494)
I have done so many "NOTS" that I am still looking for the "what TO do in a relationship" thread...


Good luck folks!
OK I'll start a thread :)

Duchess 04-13-2011 07:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassy_girl (Post 319499)
OK I'll start a thread :)
YAYYYYY!!!! Hey Sassy baby. :)

Soft*Silver 04-13-2011 08:25 PM
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....

Diva 04-13-2011 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by softness (Post 319564)
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....



May I just say, "WORD."?

Daktari 04-14-2011 05:51 AM
Don't make her be your 'everything', it's too much responsibility for one person. Have a life away from the relationship too.

Gina 04-14-2011 07:03 AM
Don't !
 
Dont' make promises you will not be able to keep throughout the relationship. (Don't make promises - no one can live up to them, not even you). Don't say; "OH Honey you shouldn't have spent so much money on flowers, candy, dinner, jewelry, perfume, etc." - they will stop buying these things anyway as time goes by - so enjoy it while you can. No matter how hard you try - you can't keep the happy beginnings! And there are no happy endings. Play and be happy while you can! Enjoy the love while it is there! Then move on with your life - always stay *you*. The true you.

girl_dee 04-14-2011 07:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by softness (Post 319564)
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....
I cannot tell you how true this is! Why do people think their partner deserves anything less that first on the list? You can have all of these others in your life but when you put their needs before your partner's needs, you royally just screwed up. It sends a message "You are not important to me"

The_Lady_Snow 04-14-2011 07:52 AM
Not OK!
 
Don't pretend to have a life threatening disease!!

Random 04-14-2011 07:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by softness (Post 319564)
dont be in a relationship with two women at the same time. I dont care who the other woman is. If its your mother, your coworker, an actress, an infactuation, an ex, or yourself...make sure your GF knows she is your one and only girl in your life, at least the only girl in the relationship with you....

Could you elaborate on what you mean by this?

What I'm reading is that your partner needs to come before yourself?

I'm just wondering, because the way that I look at it.. Making any relationship more important than the relationship you have with yourself doesn't sound very healthy. People can come and go... You always have yourself.

girl_dee 04-14-2011 08:06 AM
Don't tell me how much you LOVE me :awww:

Then ask me to change. :sadangel:

girl_dee 04-14-2011 08:27 AM
Don't buy things for him/her then that against him/her. Ouch.

JustJo 04-14-2011 08:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sassy_girl (Post 319858)
Don't tell me how much you LOVE me :awww:

Then ask me to change. :sadangel:
Oh heck yea! This one makes me :seeingstars:

If you decided to be with me, fell in love with me, whatever....because I'm me...then why would you want me to be different?

We all have to make some little adjustments to accomodate the one we love....but if we're talking fundamental changes, then I'm thinking I was a convenient warm body, not "the one" for you.

girl_dee 04-14-2011 08:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJo (Post 319886)
Oh heck yea! This one makes me :seeingstars:

If you decided to be with me, fell in love with me, whatever....because I'm me...then why would you want me to be different?

We all have to make some little adjustments to accomodate the one we love....but if we're talking fundamental changes, then I'm thinking I was a convenient warm body, not "the one" for you.

Exactly.......

Daktari 04-14-2011 09:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 319844)
Don't pretend to have a life threatening disease!!
Jeepers! Do folks really do that?

Arwen 04-14-2011 11:01 AM
  • Harp at me
  • Nitpick my ways
  • Denigrate me
  • Rehash that argument you said was over
  • Listen to gossip without clarifying it with me
  • Speak evil of me to others
  • Mock me
As always, I promise to do the same for you.

P.S. These are all past, not present lessons. :) And, amazingly enough, they apply to my friendships as well.


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