Look into her eyes everyday. Its the little things that lead to the big things

At the end of of this month is my 5th wedding anniversary. What makes it work with us is being able to tell one another everything and I do mean everything. You have to have trust in your other half. If you don't then it isn't going to last.

I agree, Brock.
 

Seems too often I'm disappointed by the lack of honesty.

First be honest with yourself.
Then be honest with the other person.

It's like what they tell you when you fly; put your own oxygen mask on first.

Pay attention when she speaks to you, look at her, into her eyes.

Do YOUR work!

Heal yourself.
Know how to give *yourself* everything that you need.
Be accountable for your patterns, your progress and your fuck-ups.
Love yourself, be proud of how far you've come.
Strive to be the strongest, healthiest, best version of yourself.

NEVER stop doing YOUR work.

Talk things out, don't hold them in. I am getting better at this :)

I am not sure if there is a "What NOT to do in a relationship" but NEVER, EVER, call her a derogatory name, no matter how angry you get. If I were to come to disrespect my lady like that, then the relationship is not meant to be. In my mind, if it happens once, good chance it will happen again. Thankfully it has never happened :) And I do not ever see it happening.

Yes there is a what not to do thread- thats what spawned this one!

Want to second this. Call a woman a derogatory name and she hears it in her heads for the rest of her lives. No matter how much time has passed or how stupid she knows it was that you did it or how many "reasonable explanations" you offer. (IMO, there isn't one.)

Not fair of me to limit it to women so how about just don't call anyone you "love" a derogatory name.

Accept that sometimes no matter what you do, you have no control over the outcome.

In 56 years I have yet to meet or know a person who is "honest". So don't even start the "be honest" parade. Instead of focusing on others focus on your own actions attitudes expectations beliefs etc. I have learned that people will only expose themselves when they have reached THEIR OWN level of trust and safety with another person. Not when YOU DECIDE they should open themselves up to your scrutiny.

YOU (the collective you) are not judge and jury of the other parties level of comfort safety integrity nor in charge of how they experience their lives or deal with their personal issues.

The only person you have a right to examine for flaws is yourself.

The battle cry for "honesty" is moot in the face of lies we tell and believe about ourselves.

Our only option is to decide whether to believe what we are told.

Ask yourself - Is that a story that could be true?

That's what I was saying.

And I think being self-honest takes lifelong effort, or at least for me it does. "Know yourself," is another way to say it.

Ten years with Red has worked because we love for the past, the now and the future. We have been through a lot and learned a lot. Relationships are not easy, but when you find the right person every ounce of sweat and tears is worth it.

do things together. plan, plan, plan. picnics. walks after dark. wake up to see the sunrise on the weekend. do projects together. like build a treehouse (or just a "loft", no tree) without a roof. better to see the stars. the moon. the moon behind the clouds. inspire each other with plans.

Make her laugh, and not just AT you...

I no longer have any idea. I know what I like and need. I know what I enjoy doing and what I can't do.

but other than that, I'm kind of at "fuck it."
I sincerely no longer know anything.
And I'm kind of ok with it.

Don't have so many expectations of what a significant other or relationship should be that you forget to enjoy each other and all those wonderful moments that really matter :)