I went to another memorial today 3rd in a month, there's another next wknd and one more in Austin for Mike.
All this loss makes me reflect on my own personal losses trying to grasp my head around all the femmes who tell me "you're amazing, wonderful, I have never felt so loved and safe and was able to be completely myself with you, you're my best friend and I love you" and then leave....
I seem to have a long history of being left. I even had someone break up with me by saying "your too nice- I don't know how to handle it"... I mean Really!!
so many of these relationships weren't working and I stayed. The question is why?
Thats what's on my mind maybe due to seeing the BIG Ex I LEFT today.
and so many old faces.

Maine.........here I come!
 

Celebrating the purchase of a new practice in Maine! Going to be able to do the bi-coastal commute. Life is grand!

I need to post Abby's loft bed and the practically new truck tires on Craigslist.. Hoping to come out at $400-ish.

Wondering if I can sell anything else :blink:

Our future.
Things that need to be done.
Later....

Everything...
 

Everything San Francisco-ian....

while I'm still listening to...

Food. This burger is GOOD....
Taking a walk with my wife later.
Homework that I'm doing.
The look on her face.

Her scent... lingering after she has left
Homework....grrrrr
Finals in 2 weeks!

Difficult decisions made. painful decisions about self-care
trying to do the right thing for myself and others
"the right thing is sometimes the hardest thing"
stepping away from distractions even really nice ones to tend to the things I keep trying to be ok with - myself and my heart
losing friends weekly to death
the losses have become too much
doing some inside work to ensure my future

Just trying to understand why some people just don't want to end things peacefully.

Plans for the summer and getting things going in the right direction again...

I have a lot on my mind right now, aside from these delicious brownies and laundry.

Friends/the people I love, packing, business details/travel plans, daydreams, my bosses reaction tomorrow, how different my hair feels, my senses, meditation, herbal tea and how lucky I am to have had so many wonderful experiences on my path so far.

I am looking forward to many more.

Tomorrow I will receive my exam results....
Praying those scores rock....

I hope so, I have a feeling I know what my path is supposed to be.

I just want things to go back to normal.

Who in hell set off bombs at the Boston Marathon, and apparently planted many others around the city? My immediate thought was "My God, it really is the North Koreans", but I don't think so now. What kind of world do we live in, anyway?

And now I realize that my privilege is showing. Three domestic bombing events-9/11, Oklahoma City, and this (whoever did it). For some, this is or was, normal.

How quickly things can change

Daydreams....

Boston. My heart and prayers go out to them. I used to live on the route and was lucky enough to walk out my front door and see it. This year I wanted to actually see the runners at the finish line. However just yesterday the friend who owed me money told me they could not pay me back til nxt week. So I did not get to go. So I now told my friend to keep my money. I am thankful I did not go.

Just wondering when the people here on the East coast, are going to get a fucking break already.

Not sure if you got your news on your exam yet but curious ME's want to know

:moonstars::vigil::praying:so much of the last few hours have been spent in prayer for all those in Boston and around the globe who have been affected by irrational destruction and hate may the be Peace in the hearts of all those hurting tonight

Wondering when past episodes will stop resurfacing for healing... :sigh:

I know things in our life present themself till the healing is complete, but 3 times in less than a week? Don't ya think that's a little extreme, Universe? :blink:

A few specific things and floating thoughts and ideas about my traveling project

I'm sick of drama and I'm going to finally focus on me...

As I've only stated about 50,000 times before, my daughter is getting into competitive swimming and found out she's officially on the summer league, yay! But with that comes all the body issues a 14 year old has. She worries that her shoulders and arms will be too big, like a boy's. She's self-conscious about her height-5'6 and growing (the pants we bought in January-forget it). I think she'll be fine; she's pretty self-confident anyway. My own daughter inspires me.

It is sort of bittersweet when I tell her the positive things and support her, muscular athletic build and all, when I'm prone to see only my body faults. It's been hard for me to listen to myself and put my money where my mouth is. But accepting myself and even loving my naked self is a journey that can only benefit both of us.

wondering what my dog dreams about
he's always barking and running in his sleep- so cute
maybe he's chasing squirrels like I let him in the park when he was a pup

Pretty excited to pick up my new puppy on Thursday!

My wife.
School.
The future.

And no one but my wife will get this one... the Civil War.

Mind
 

Finishing my website for my photography.

My husband.
The kiddo.
Our future.
A new home.

In the news again today a teenage girl took her own life because of cyber bullying. I hate hearing this. To make matters even worse, it was because she drank a bottle of gatorade with alcohol in it. I don't know if this was her choice or not, but being gang raped wasn't. Not only that, but they posted it on facebook and everyone in her school was talking about it. What I don't get is this...
1. Why were these boys so proud of something so disgusting?
2. Why was the girl (victim no less) the one that was embarrassed?
3. How do the parents keep themselves from ripping the f***ing heads off these
animals that did this to their daughter, I would have a hard time with that.
4. Where are the girls that should have been rallying around this girl?
5. When will it end?

I hate facebook for a number of reasons...this is just another reason to add to the list.

Here's something else I'd like to know. Why do a lot of people have to die
or be injured before anyone really notices?

Work, projects, gypsy soul energy, daydreams while staring out the window with a cup of herbal tea, friends, dates , self care, meditation and what to eat for supper tonight.

Music is big on my mind today too! I have been singing to the radio all day, even at work on my breaks. I think my boss was highly amused during lunch hour.

I would say coincidences but knowing the universe the way I do, its generally planned in ways I have yet to comprehend....