butch/lesbian/womon.....my vote...... ( and stone) but ya cant vote twice.....lol

all is covered for me!

So, where is genderqueer? I was just getting used to it. Are we not using the term anymore? Gone the way of the dinosaurs? I forgot, third gendered is missing too.

Added.

As I said, if I missed any please ask.

Lady Pamela

I do not think gender ID determines likes and dislikes or actions. These types of limitations were used to justify why women couldn't vote or sit on juries or play sports just a few decades ago. It goes back to my earlier question of why do we even have gender IDs? What purpose do they serve both on a personal and a social level?

Melissa (a femme lesbian who loves to fish, buy power tools, is much more DIY handier than my butch, who doesn't paint her nails or wear make up or jewelry).

There is a category (now in the middle) that lists: Other/No ID.

I've been thinking about this thread and tracing all the gender IDs I've had over the last 20 years. Here's my ID chain

Gay -> Lesbian -> Lesbian Femme -> stone femme...........


I've noticed that my ID seems to change along with Rufuboi's ID. I was just a plain ol lesbian femme when I met Rufusboi who ID'ed as a stone butch. What's a stone butch, I asked, when we first met. Rufusboi explained. What's a stone femme, I asked. Well, he thought it was a person who dated stone butches. So your now a stone femme, he said. Ok, cool.

Rufusboi is now transitioning and will be going on T. We talked about how he would ID. I asked him will you ID as male, a transman, a FTM. He decided he will ID as a transman. ok, cool.

So now I'm thinking I will change my ID again. Transfemme? Translesbian? Translesbianfemme? Translesbianstonefemme? gaylesbianstonetransfemme?

Oh how I wish for the days of just being gay!

Oh and let's not forget my neighbors think Rufusboi is my husband. It appears, we have just recently discovered, that we pass as a heterosexual couple. Who knew!!!! I'm leaving hetero out of the ID mix though, as its the one thing I've never envisioned myself.

Melissa [the hetero passing gaylesbianstonetransfemme]

I have added one more. That is it. I cannot add more at this point. I was trying to accommodate as many different IDs as possible but I cannot add more. At this point, if your ID is not listed above, if you can, please choose other and mention here what it is.

This is why I just went with butch. :)

My chain is probably just as long but it started with butch and has gone through a bunch of different other things that are butch-related. When I think through all the links in my chain, I think I even confuse myself with some it! All of them have been important and many are still valid today but I can't say they will be tomorrow. I can say, with 99.1% certainty, that the butch part still will be though, so I picked it!

Hi Melissa :rrose:

No snarkiness here, but a genuine question...why do you see your ID changing simply because your partner's ID changes? To me, that feels like the old Mrs. xyz...when a woman's identity, status, etc. was determined by her husband's.

I see the need for gender/ID, a way to describe ourselves...for expediency if nothing else. And let's face it...it's one of the first questions we ask when someone has a baby right? Oooooo....did they have a boy or a girl? It's one of the earliest ways we learn to identify the people in our world. I totally get that not everyone's gender/identity matches their genitals. I am all for everyone identifying themselves any way they feel best represents them.

I guess it just feels weird to me to identify who you are in relation to someone else. Can you talk more about this?

For me, I'm a woman first...lesbian femme second. That's who I am regardless of who I'm with....or if I'm single...or if I'm celibate.

I'd love to hear more about if this change was spurred by any changes within you...or if the changing ID (based on your partner's) inspired any changes in you...if you're willing to share, of course!

Justjo - A lot of what I said is tongue- in- cheek. I don't think any of these words/IDs can fully express who we are in terms of biology, gender and sexuality.

If I had to pick one, it would be lesbian. Nothing else. Even partnered to a transman I still think of myself as a lesbian. In fact, I laughingly said to Rufusboi, you will be a transman married to a lesbian.

I am really wondering why we have all these gender IDs and what purpose they serve for us as individuals or as a larger community? We seem to argue about them more than anything else and we do not have one way of defining any of them.

Rufusboi picked transman after a lot of thought about how T will change him physically, how he thinks of himself in terms of gender, and also how he defines the terms male and FTM. Other people on this site define transman, male, and FTM totally differently than he does. I actually think he could easily adopt any of these terms to represent who he will be on T. He does not, he has a more set way of viewing and defining these terms. So my post above is more about how really effective are these terms?

Melissa [the anti-stepford wife]

[QUOTE=Melissa;119861]Justjo - A lot of what I said is tongue- in- cheek. I don't think any of these words/IDs can fully express who we are in terms of biology, gender and sexuality.

If I had to pick one, it would be lesbian. Nothing else. Even partnered to a transman I still think of myself as a lesbian. In fact, I laughingly said to Rufusboi, you will be a transman married to a lesbian.

I am really wondering why we have all these gender IDs and what purpose they serve for us as individuals or as a larger community? We seem to argue about them more than anything else and we do not have one way of defining any of them. So you would negate all other gender labels but transman and lesbian? I mean if you are happy in your ID, why not give everyone who isn't lesbian or transman their due. As long as you are happy right?

Rufusboi picked transman after a lot of thought about how T will change him physically, how he thinks of himself in terms of gender, and also how he defines the terms male and FTM. Other people on this site define transman, male, and FTM totally differently than he does. I actually think he could easily adopt any of these terms to represent who he will be on T. He does not, he has a more set way of viewing and defining these terms. So my post above is more about how really effective are these terms?

Melissa [the anti-stepford wife]

The reason we have all these gender labels is because this is how this community see themselves. Each and every one of them need to be honored.
Corkey, the one who will honor everyone's ID even if he blows a gaskit.

OK... genderqueer guy (FTM does not fit for those of us not transitioning) .. I think genderqueer on its own probably goes more to third gender

And did I see androgynous in your list... just in case we have anyone...

I mostly like it but since I have an inner gay boy that gets expressed (except for who I partner with) I'd leave Butch out of that ID. But that's me.

[quote=Corkey;119877]

Corkey - I do not negate any IDs. Lesbian and transman are just two of many gender IDs. They do not warrant any more due than any other ID. To me, all Ids are equal. I think you misunderstood my post. It is very hard to communicate ideas and tone online.

Thanks for answering my question about why you think we have gender IDs.

Melissa

[quote=Melissa;119888]You're welcome, and yes trying to convey gender labels often gets muddled.

ETA: No one asked for more, due just equal due.

I clicked genderqueer. I really have a hard time with all the labels, nothing fits exactly. I like what someone here said once, about being liminal, I feel like I'm in a hallway with my foot and hands pushing against as many doors at once as I can manage. Multi thresholds. Liminal queer is a better word for me than genderqueer.

overthink
 

so i'm a bigender genderqueer queer lesbian femme woman.

I don't see queer and lesbian as fighting each other - I claim both.

though I consider bigender, genderqueer, femme and woman to all be gender IDs, I also don't feel like they conflict and I claim them all.

I'm going to choose bigender on this thing because nobody else has, and it's possible I'm the only one here (?). However, the full shabang is up there in lavender. :)