I don't either, but the game for singles is
"if you had your *ideal,* what would it be?"

I know my ideal career is far more than the career that I love to bits.
My ideal cat is different than the one I have and love to bits and would never give up.
My ideal apartment is different than the one I'm in or willing to take.

So Ideal and what you'd be willing and happy to work with is different, no?

Well of course if it works for others that is awesome. But no I do not have an ideal that comes with lots of characteristics. I would rather have the real thing than an ideal dream femme in my mind.

I couldn't have imagined ahead of time any of my past partners or their combination of qualities other than obvious ones like femme, compatible with stone butch, etc. Of course given that I am a Dominant Stone Butch Daddy there is a lot to be compatible with, so I guess mine is complicated from the get go. But I have been very pleasantly surprised every time in the past. So I prefer it that way. And I would hate to be measured against a long list of qualifications - unless of course I miraculously passed most of them, lol.

I think real live people are better than any list we can dream up (well they can be a lot worse too, so there is that), but yeah we all think about it differently.

After reading Esme's post though I do need to add left-leaning politics as a must!

hmn. I think I saw this as a game

if you ask me what I'd like in a *real* date I would list something very different and leave most things up to chance. I only have about 5 or 6 absolutes I require in dating folks. That's *much* different than a game of an ideal.

I would HATE to think that me talking about an ideal/perfect/dream is *ANYTHING* I would *EVER* expect *ANYONE* to *EVER* live up to. Because it doesn't exist. Ideals don't exist.

so, this isn't measuring against a long list of qualifications. Even remotely. To me, this is a parlour game of "doesn't exist"


ETA
I think if the question had been worded "what do you require in a partner" rather than "singles, describe your perfect partner to while away the hours on a monday night" I would have answered very differently. One sounds like a based in reality list, the other sounds ( to me and my brain) sounds like a game in front of the fire place like "if you could go anywhere in time, where would you go." and "If you could be any person in history, who would you be" kind of thing. Pure fantasy.

Yeah I probably misread the intent of thread. Either way I don’t have an ideal in mind. I do write fiction so I make up characters quite often, but in this case for me I would just rather see what the real women are like.

So, no fantasy date ladies for you! ok ;)

Agreed. Rather see what real women are like.

Here's the full Web link to Human's of New York (HONY):


http://www.humansofnewyork.com/


Very interesting film narratives on an variety of human conditions. HONY just finished their film series with an heart wrenching episode titled: Comnections.

I highly recommend the entire film series. (f)

FIRST and foremost she has a wonderful sense of humor....

It’s been several years since the last time I first posted in this thread, but here is what I would think would be important to facilitate better outcomes with the next person I might want to date or partner with (not now, but maybe in a few years):

A). They will have a functioning conscience. If there is even a scintilla of narcissism in their bones, they will not be allowed into my life.

B). They will be thoughtful, compassionate, kind and will demonstrate a capacity to show respect. No traits of meanness or bullying will be tolerated. Same for manipulative behaviors. Be honest and be kind.

C). They will exhibit healthy boundary systems, self control, and not have serious addiction behaviors related to gambling or drugs or alcohol. Risky behaviors are the tell tale signs in a person’s life that scream Red Flags 🚩

D). They will definitely have a strong work ethic and be self sufficient and have other interests in life. Co-creating a functional life together takes team work and supportive relationships with others.


E). I’m not interested in developing a perfect relationship. I’m not even perfect myself. But developing a healthy and rewarding relationship takes time and since time is of paramount importance, I’ll be taking my time in deciding if I ever want to have a relationship again. I’m happy on my own and life is full of opportunities. Maybe in the future I will entertain having a relationship. But right now?? No thanks. I’m good on my own. ☺️🦋👍

And, oh! F). No living with your ex. So many people do that nowadays for most likely financial reasons of entanglement. Living with your ex is a massive deal breaker (to me).

Describe Mr/Mrs Wonderful
 

Honest Caring Loving Sensible Compassionate

i can't let this thread disappear..so i will think for a moment...your lover should match your energy
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