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wet blanket, redux
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So. I've been watching this thread from the beginning and it immediately seemed problematic to me. Lists are limiting. They constrain by what is contained from beginning to end. I think preferences are normal, but I agree with sassy, there are a lot of niggling, insignificant details contained in some. (And yes, I did just publicly agree with sassy, so?) What if the love of your life is a victim of childhood sexual trauma at the hands of her older brother, and isn't comfortable giving blow jobs? Sorry, babe, I ain't gonna love ya. I see so many here holding up these ideals, these "perfect" visions of what they desire, and yet, single. I wonder if any of you ever look deep inside yourselves and wonder, who's list am I making? Finding love is about one thing, really. Be open. Ok, two - do your "work." No one else is going to make a silk's purse out of the sow's ear of your life. |
Mr B, I respect your opinion but this is all in fun. I don't think anyone wants Mr or Mrs. Perfect. I think everyone wants love. I mean don't you? Lists are good for lots of things and sometimes not perfect. I mean I've made grocery lists and forgot stuff. I don't nor have I ever expectedvanyone to live up to my expectations I always bend and always will. So what if you don't give me a blowjob or like dogs. I mean come on. All we really want is to have someone whos honest and respects us. All the rest is a benefit. Oh and I was molested. It lasted ten years of my childhood but it doesn't effect who I am today in fact it made me a more giving person and I survived. Im not a kid and that was my past and I don't live in the past. So do me a favor. If you don't like something don't do it. If you read something and don't like what you read then stop reading but don't ruin it for people who do. Its not fair and not right. I do respect your opinion but that's all it is is an opinion. Thank you!
**** this is just my opinion*** |
My love list overflows!
Blow Jobs do not equate love!
(that should be a bumper sticker:)!) |
Hey Lady Snow, no it doesn't. Sorry everyone, I was mad. Hey Lady, I've met you in person a long time ago at the Club Cafe in Boston. Does Handsome ring a bell? Krystle was there and a few others. Hope everyone is having a great day. I'm off to go eat. I'll be around later. Again sorry for the outburst.
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Question? If the blow job and fucking requirement takes place on the first date, does she still fit into the *must respect /self respect* aspect as well? What if she is just not that good at it (gag reflex for example)?
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I love Ms Krystle!!! I miss Lars:( I love Boston!! I apologize I don't remember a handsome may I have another clue? |
Hey Lady, you can look at my pic or at the time I was with Zebra. That help? I saw Lars on other site recently.
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Lemme go see!
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A love list...
They must like to get fucked and give a good blow job. I agree 100%. (and yes, I date Butches) I love cats and dogs, gave away 2 cats for an allergic Butch years ago, worst mistake I ever made. So no cat/dog allergies. Must be kind. Must be sweet. Must be open minded. According to "Bones" (the TV show) prospects must be between 31 and 81? Apparently its ok for them to be half my age plus 7, and I guess that works both ways? I used to think just Integrity, but Integrity and Love are not always enough. Sometimes our life deals us personalities that just do not mesh, no matter how much integrity both parties have...how much love is there. More later. lol. |
I wonder if, when we are typing something into a public forum and we see ourselves typing: 'sorry, don't mean to be crude' that it might be a hint to give ourselves a moment to re-read and re-think before we hit send...
we all have differing sensibilities...this is true...I would suggest that there is a base line which we, or at least many of us, are aware of, and which when we make the conscious choice to cross, says much more about us than it does about those of us who might have a reaction... add to that when we make it blatantly clear that we'd like to share ourselves with a special specialperson, our words become all the more important...I, for one, am much more interested in someone who saves the specifics of intimate desires for an appropriate private time and place...I would not feel safe or respected going into something having heard and read , more than once, the intimate acts which are a prerequisite for a relationship... I say this with the full admission that I may well have a narrow, or limited view of things....I say this knowing that a certain level of decorum is both important to me and can be a form of foreplay...still. and. all. if someone 'doesn't want to be crude' , I would suggest being more judicious in ones words, and being aware that, having made clear in the most specific of terms what one wants, it's hardly effective to repeat it... |
I would way rather know up front what someone likes sexually so I dont waste precious time and money on someone I am not compatable with.
As women we are brought up to be appologetic. I would not have appologized for being crude, I like crude. In fact I would never date anyone not crude. Bottom line, we all have different needs and we should be open to the fast that other people have different needs than we have. There may be a reason someone needs a punctual partner for example. Or maybe being more chaste about wording. We can all be different and think what we think. |
Nina, thank you for your opinion. :)
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And if you're going to say fuck then say "fuck."
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So you tell me you respect my opinion and then effectively dismiss the legitimacy of my position to state it. I could illustrate numerous posts that I could say "ruin" a lot of threads for me, but I won't. I either ignore them or respond to them. But I wouldn't presume to tell someone they shouldn't state their opinion. Or, judging from your most recent post, maybe only femme opinions count. If you're saying these lists are frivolous exercises then your analogy to grocery lists hardly supports your argument, as those are items we actually intend to procure. I also applaud you for your healing around childhood molestation, but that is not the case for everyone and it feels as if you diminish that reality in your comments. I'm sorry my post made you "mad," but since we're making lists, primary on mine is "no outbursters." |
Sorry if I didn't validate your opinion. I am now and I will say sorry. Have a great day everyone and I wish you all luck in finding love. I'm off to browse forums.
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I'd put that on my car
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"...but they will make me forget how lonely I am." |
Dirty!!!!!
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What is important to me in my butch...
1 Interesting conversationalist
1. Interesting conversationalist 2. Well-read 3. Sense of humor, easy to laugh 4. Insight into self 5. Ability to be vulnerable when we are alone 6. Comfortable with both sexuality & sex 7. Healthy libido 8. Belief in the concept of monogamy in a committed relationship 9. Ethical values 10. Social & feminist consciousness 11. Kind, thoughtful, loving 12. Accepts me for who I am, in all my imperfect glory & I in return-do the same 13. Even if hurt previously, healed from it, learned from it, ready & able to move on with hope & excitement for the future |
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