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In a poly relationship here. I've been in poly relationships on and off for 20 years (wow, that sounds like a long time). I have had great luck with it. A lot of first dates (sometimes, it only takes one date to discover, um, not so much...<g>).
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Poly also and have had long relationships of depth and quality.I'm looking around the east coast for options. For those of you who are poly how are you finding people who fit?
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mostly by accident so far :) i also like places like okcupid and fetlife, where i can state up front that i am polyamorous, but i haven't met many people successfully through there.
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yeah, I have mainly found people at random.. Thinking of stating that I'm poly on my profile here as well.. May cause less confusion. I find the hardest part about dating or talking with people that are new or ingnorant of poly is explaining how I can have feelings for someone and still have feelings for other people and it not take away from the fact that I have very real feelings for all involved.. Blah, lol
Have also been finding it a bit hard as of late because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable again and have been a bit "singed".. Not really burned, just testing the waters with someone and then having that feeling of , "OH! ouch.. yeah, this ain't going to work out.." lol Ah well :) Such is love and life :) The "singe" is better then not feeling or experiencing the other wonderfulness that intimate connection can bring. That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes.. OK, will shush now. Glad we have a poly thread, maybe some of you can relate :) -Tony |
*pops in* my last post would now be considered incorrect. I still consider myself a poly person but i am no longer involved. But I am still not looking. Time for me time, to heal my heavy heart. I see I am out of practice on the flirting. Going to have to brush up on my skills..
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intimacy
[QUOTE=TenderKnight;596376]That's another thing.. I can get sex pretty easy.. I am longing for intimacy, and that is the hardest thing to find sometimes..
I completely agree with you. A willingness to have conversations of depth, eye contact and mutual curiosity. It is not always the easiest piece to find. |
i'm a flirt!!...i can't help it...!! i have waiteresses wanting to cut my meat for me!
funny thing is...if anyone flirts with ME? oh dear GOD! i run around in circles like my gramma's little rat terrier "susie"...damn near piddling on the floor like she used to do....uhhhhh...susie...not gramma... :) poly? not so much...but i TOTALLY understand it! anyway!! LOVE to get my flirt on!! skeet |
So obviously I am NOT the only Poly member on this site and I know I am NOT the only flirt on this site but I was looking in the all the single threads and missing the ability to flirt and maybe start something up with like minded people.
*Shrugs* so I figured I would bump our thread and see if anyone is around.... |
Hello... anyone home.... echo... echo... echo...
Just thought I'd write and see if anyone was around. I'm in My first open relationship. It's been six months now and I've been learning a lot. She has a primary partner already so I'm open to other possibilities if they happen to come around. I have noticed though that not a lot of femmes want to date/talk to you if you are dating someone else, which I have to respect. Anyway, I love to flirt so here I am. |
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Just stopped by to say yes we are still around lol... while I am currently on hiatis from flirting I definitely have gained a much better understanding of poly relationships over the past 4 years than I had ever before... They are definitely not for everyone.. but I also strongly believe it working on the current relationship before seeking another to add to it... Just my personal opinion but it helps solidify the relationship. Glad to see the thread is still alive :) |
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I don't think the dilemma you're facing is a femme thing. Most people I've met don't want to date or talk to someone who is dating someone else, which makes a lot of sense since most of us have been socialized toward monogamy. Keep looking.... we're around, but we're definitely the minority :) |
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Mingling..... there are so many misconceptions about Poly one must be careful when even thinking about entering into this sort of arrangement. Some think it's a 24/7 multiple partner sex party Some think it's a way for a Dominant to get their sex on with a bunch of submissives with no regard to their well being Some think that all members of a poly family have sex.... Some think they can try it on for size and when there is an issue they can say *oh well forget it lets go back to our old life*... well once you go there life is forever changed. Be ready. Be ready to be seen in public and run into friends with another and have your integrity tested. Be ready to not be the center of the universe with a partner at all times. Be ready to explain to your family what's going on to a certain degree or if you do explain it all, be ready to be judged. Poly is a wonderful thing, i am all about family.. i am wired for it.. but i am also a believer that if there is ONE iota of a hidden agenda, ONE dishonest thought or action, anything less than 100% honesty and communication that there is a domino effect that happens and it rocks the whole family, and can tear you apart. |
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Wiring
If you (general) are monogamously wired, poly of ANY kind will fail. If that wiring is set, grounded and expected your (general) best bet is to steer clear of anyone who is poly, it's just not going to work for anyone.
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I love having indepth conversations here... |
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I also think it is a good thing because it is honesty. One of the most important thing in my opinion to make Poly work is honesty and that starts on day one. I have had women that are wired for monogamy attempt to date me however they were aware that I am not wired for that type of relationship. It just never works for me to onlt be with one person. Thank you Dee or your input as well. Because in my experience Poly is not any of those things. I have had many relationships that did not involve sex but the person was just as important to me. I also have had relationships that did not involve D/s while being with others that did. Poly comes in many shades of the spectrum. |
When I was younger and still in the closet, I had a girlfriend but also a boyfriend, more for show, but a good friend of mine. Closest I have ever come to being poly! Don't think I could do it.. Hell, I like to be the center of someone's universe ;) .. but I respect those that do. And I have to second what someone said earlier, if I was single I do not think I would broach the topic of dating with someone who is poly, no matter how much I may like them - would recognize I couldn't be their everything, and that would be that.
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