For me, that requires a level of disregard I can't summon for someone I care(d) for so much, and made promises to honor. Just because she can forego promises, I don't have to be that person.

Then again, most everyone I know wants to smack me in the head.

I get the same reaction, about people wanting to smack me in the head.

It is easy for me to do what I do because I have been used and abused, lied to, cheated on so much, that once I am done, I am DONE.

Yes - maybe I'll get there. However, with one exception, there is no ex I would not talk to if she said she needed to talk. And actually, even that one, if she came to me in kindness and vulnerability, I would probably talk to. I may very well reach that point with this particular one if my greatest fears about her turn out to be true (and my greatest fears, one by one, have been getting confirmed).

Ok Folks. We are getting reported posts from this thread.

Let's be very clear: If you have dated someone on this site, THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO POST ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR BREAKUP DRAMA. I have already deleted one post and will delete others that talk about breakups or other people on this site.

Our TOS is very clear about drama and breakup postings. They don't belong on the site. It creates a lot of drama and a negative atmosphere for all of the other people trying to participate here.

Thanks,
Angie

For me, if a relationship doesn't end amicably, if there was deception or anger or anything that's negative, and thankfully I've only had one or two of those breakups, in my experience it's just time that heals the pain and gives me closure. People are so quick to jump from relationship to relationship without giving themselves and their hearts time to heal and truly have that closure. When you invest so much of yourself emotionally in someone else, that doesn't end with the flick of a switch like a light. It takes time and you are hurting yourself if you don't give you that time.

If however that relationship does end on good terms for whatever reason, then again in my experience, it's just a conversation that needs to be had. Sharing all of those emotions together and understanding what had happened or didn't happen. Creating yet another connection but this time to disconnect if that makes sense. You were with that person for a reason and remembering that reason is key to maintaining your own sense of value and worth.

Once again, based on my experience if you are negative and closed off. If you delete all that they were to you from your life. If you erase everything you were together, you are merely putting a bandaid on the wound and it will never heal. At some point and usually the most inconvenient moment in your future, that bandaid is going to rip off and you will be faced with that unhealed wound and be forced to either deal with it or find another bandaid. And bandaids are a temporary fix at best and should be used very cautiously.