Butch Femme Planet - Salon de Femme--aut delectare aut prodesse est

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- The Femme Zone (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=11)

- - Salon de Femme--aut delectare aut prodesse est (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=95)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen (Post 2748)

So I have a third question for us. (Feel free to answer any of the questions or just speak your piece...it's all good.)

THIRD QUESTION: (this is focusing on the art part of the salon description)

Is there a song or painting or book or poem that is your own personal femme motto/manifesto/creed?

Like maybe Gretchen Phillips "Redneck Woman" or Aine Minogue's "Lady of Shallot" for music?

Perhaps Degas Ballerina's or Rosie the Riveter for art?

Maybe Laura Ingalls Wilder or Jo from Little Women is a fiction heroine of yours?

So, do you have one? Do you need one? Do you want one?

Especially on those days when I'm feeling down or invisible, Maya Angelou's words speak to me, to remind me about the power I have as a woman! Sometimes, I think we all need to be reminded of that, too...

Phenomenal Woman - Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.

I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.

I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.

I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.

I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Oh Pinkie! I love Maya Angelou. What a great piece to be inspired by. :)

Phenomenal Woman is another one of those great pieces that's become part of my Femme Attitude, so to speak. I've loved it for a long time. Thanks for posting it, Pinkie!

Let's be lighthearted for Friday, shall we? This question is for smiles and grins and giffles, I hope.

FOURTH QUESTION: What is the color of lipstick or nailpolish that makes you feel femme or think "gee she's really femme" when you see it on someone else. :)

Another discussion question:

What do you do that makes you feel decadently, unabashedly, fabulously femme?

Is it strapping on a dildo?
Is it painting your nails?
Is it fixing a car?
Is it baking a cake?

What is it for you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen (Post 10781)

Honestly for me... it's when I am surrounded by other femmes. Sometimes I feel like everyday life, of living in the sterotypical "lesbian" bubble in my local community, seems to suck my femme mojo. Being around my femme friends and sisters lets my energy shine bright ~ I think that we bring it out in eachother! That is when I feel FABULOUS!

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieLee (Post 10808)

What a terrific thought. Do you feel like you "femme down" when not around those of us who do embrace you as the gorgeous, sexy femme you are?

For me I feel the most femme when I am doing my "secret" girl routines. Not that they are secret and not that no one else does them...just that for me they make me feel special. And they can be really mundane things like shaving or putting on lipstick, you know?

I had an ex who loved watching me put on makeup. Said it made hym "happy" in all the euphemistic sense there. grin. That made me feel quite femme, you know. :)

Now how did I miss this fabulous thread?! :moonstars:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa (Post 12138)

Now how did I miss this fabulous thread?! :moonstars:

:bigcry: I made it for YOU and see how you are! You never call. You never write. You never lend me your clothes. You never lend me your husband... :bigcry: or your dog even!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen (Post 12128)

What a terrific thought. Do you feel like you "femme down" when not around those of us who do embrace you as the gorgeous, sexy femme you are?

It's not as though I "femme down" around my local community. My femme energy is always there ~ I just gets referred to as "the girly girl". Most of the local community here equates feminine with femme. Yeah, they honestly don't understand that femme is more than appearance.

For me I feel the most femme when I am doing my "secret" girl routines. Not that they are secret and not that no one else does them...just that for me they make me feel special. And they can be really mundane things like shaving or putting on lipstick, you know?

I had an ex who loved watching me put on makeup. Said it made hym "happy" in all the euphemistic sense there. grin. That made me feel quite femme, you know. :)

I'm glad to see that your "secret" girl routines help keep your fabulous femme self feeling just that. It is the little things in life that keep us balanced and a way to stay connected with ourselves. Good for you honey!! :bouquet:

[QUOTE=Arwen;3229]I have not read this nor have I read Butch Is A Noun. I need to correct that though! :)

I'd love to hear how this speaks to your femme self, Blush. Because I haven't read it, I'm clueless.

This is not to say I won't still be clueless after I've read it. HA

I related to the author's description of femmes' inner lives, interactions, and relationships with each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieLee (Post 10808)

It's that acknowledgment without explanation that I love about other femmes.

I've been having some trouble with this.... okay. A lot of trouble. I can't seem to articulate what makes me feel "Femme."

I can tell you what makes me feel sexy--being around Butches. What makes me feel feminine--getting dressed up. What makes me feel like a girl--being around Da---er, wait a minute, lol, I always feel like a girl whether anyone else is around or not...

Yanno, I think that's the heart of it. I always feel like a Femme, too. Nothing changes it, nothing makes it more or less, nothing brings it forward or pushes it back... being Femme just IS. It's not something I do, it's not something other people can change, it's not something that even needs attention... it's just me, at the bedrock of my being.

I used to worry about it a lot. I've felt utterly inadequate about it, I've felt stupid about it, I've felt gauche and awkward with it---but those have all been responses to others who have judged it. I'm hoping I'm finally beyond that kind of vulnerability and uncertainty.

It helps enormously that a category finally showed up that fits me to a T. The day Gryph called me a "Homespun Femme" I realized that nobody could judge me for being not-good-enough in that category, lol! A Homespun girl doesn't have to perform any kind of gender presentation, doesn't have to conform to anyone else's standards, doesn't have to reform her looks and glam it up for anyone. A Homespun Femme just IS, however she might be in the moment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bit (Post 13241)

I've been having some trouble with this.... okay. A lot of trouble. I can't seem to articulate what makes me feel "Femme."

Thanks Bit, you have put into words my feelings and struggle with questions around this topic -- I can't name what makes me feel femme. I just am. What makes me feel like myself? Same question. Just living.
Now, I can name things I appreciate, that make me feel "at home" or joyful, like other femmes or butch appreciation of me -- but I would still be femme and be myself without that. And that can be Homespun Femme or Glitter Femme or Biscuit-n-Gravy-Hair-Extensions Femme or Snark Femme....all are perfectly my true self if I AM being true to myself. No one else can make me more or less (but they can add happiness that they are in my life!)

Y'all seriously are the best. I love that this has come up. I think it is very important.

It goes hand in hand with e's thread (Open Letter: Dear Femme).

So how about this...what books do you know that are on the subject of femme?

I know an anthology was just released this year. Has anyone read it? I think it is called Visibility:A Femme Anthology.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen (Post 14133)

>[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Femme-Mystique-Lesla-Newman/dp/1555832555"]The Femme Mystique[/ame]<

or

>[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Closet-Nothing-Wear-Leslea-Newman/dp/1555834159"]Out Of The Closet and Nothing To Wear[/ame]<

or, really, anything by Lesléa Newman.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen (Post 740)

I know, right? So jump in! What does femme look like on you, darlin'?

well...femme to me isnt a label...but a descriptor of me...like saying i have green eyes a pretty smile and I am femme...I am proud of this description of me...i honour it and adore it...it IS me...it is who and what I am. You couldnt really describe me without saying I am femme.

omg I have come home....ahhhhhh thank you gal pals for being different but yet so similar....!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme (Post 2846)

Open your eyes, do you not see me? How many times I have thought these words... And sadly, these words in my mind have been given life from those who say they have loved me the most. It's so sad really, but what we must learn to do, is open our eyes and see ourselves -- tricky at times, for most of us long to be seen and acknowledged as the beautiful, brilliant and strong femmes we are.

Julie

Only halfway through this thread but I am stuck in the gut by these two posts.. I AM NOT INVISIBLE and I am/was treated as such...Loved by those who never saw me!..so hard for anyone to understand those words unless you .. like me have been standing there as they walk right through you!..I cried myself to sleep for far to long..questioning why I wasnt what she/hy use to see anymore..when did I put on the cloak of invisibility? Was it given to me or did I find it on my own..I found myself safe in a place that I was never seen. Ya I hear/heard "I love you baby"..but who exactly was she/hy speaking to? not me!..at me..not to me..words that bound me to stay..fear of being alone kept me..and then always falling into the mindset of "oh this isn't so bad, I have a nice house and a tolerable life.." how do you find your way out of that? how do you become visable again? How do you without feeling selfish in your choice? she/hy is quite content to live this way..no passion, no desire.. I N V I S A B I L I T Y. is NOT a superpower..it is the opposite..it rendered/s me powerLESS..I am not very articulate in my posts because I type as I think..so sorry for that lol..It was a tuff place to be..but fear kept me..common sense made me leap!..and It was fabulous!

As far as femme identity.. I have always been feminine to the extreme..at least thats what they told me..I do not like to get my hands/fingernails dirty..but I have no problem getting my freak on after mudbogging!. BUT.its by choice lol..I prefer to stay clean and proper for hym..but hy doesnt always want me that way either..Im flawed just like every other human..male or female that walks this earth..but being femme for me..It is who I am not what I am..Yes I get a mani/pedi..yes I love to be pampered by hym..but I am just as comfortable in my good ole "come fuck me pumps" as I am in my pink flip flops!..I wear a baseball cap to hide a bad hair day lol..and I take extra time to to fix my hair when I wnt..I am quite capable of running to the store w/o makeup on..althought this is not my preferred way..I am a mother and I work and I do live in the REAL world where not everythingis perfect.. .I believe at least for me ..its in my manurisms..I think standing next to any butch it is very obvious how my community will identify me.because most people need that..I identify with it because It really is who I am..I am FEMMenine woman who likes.the contrast between the feminine and masculine woman it is a huge turn on for me..its what makes me always take that second look at a fine looking butch..Their dynamic is sexy and appealing and confident!..

People who don't like lables are not wrong or incorrect for thinking they dont..but for me..I am indifferent..I don't really care..
after all I do have a bumper sticker that reads "you say im a bitch like its a bad thing" HEY i have earned it lol..so..peace out on that!

and I do also agree with the femme sister thingy!...I have a few straight female friends..but I am most comfortable in my own community with my gay friends..its an unspoken understanding..and half the time with my straight friends it turns into Gay lessons 101..it can be exhausting explaing any dynamic..lol

sorry for this ridiculously long post..I love coming here and totally being me..as random as I am..

I love my life..more each day!
Lillie