Unconditional love to me means.... my 2 daughters and my my grandkids.... that's the only experience I've had with Unconditional love.

I agree that there is in the parent-child bond.

Unconditional means you never stop loving-that doesn't mean you approve or like-but love never dies-the universe is built on it

~
 

Well said ~ you are the giver of that unconditional love ~ and at times a receiver :) ~ as long as you have felt that forgiving, accepting ,unjudgmental love u felt "unconditional love" ~

I agree..real love doesn't end..it may change, but that is it's nature..it's the only thing we will have when we leave here

hmn. I've never had it in the romantic sense. No wait. That's wrong. I love my exwife. I care that she is ok. I wish she is happy. And I like to know she's doing ok. But I find her irritating, irresponsible, gets on my very last nerve, drives me batshit, and I wish she would get her shit together. I also can't truly forgive what she did. I don't mind being in light contact with her on occasion in fb, but I don't want to hang out with her, I don't want her interfering with my shit, but I do love her.

Love as an emotion on its own doesn't mean much. I have been absurd by people who loved me. Sincerely and definitely felt that emotions of love for me. It's someone's personality and functioning that matter. Emptions are just emotions. There is nothing wrong with anger. It's an emotion. It tells us something is wrong. It's how we use it, cope with it, and function with it. Love is no different.

Emotions are just feelings. They don't do things, they only occur. People enact emotions and those enactments matter. Not the emotions themselves.

ASo fucking what if someone loves me. Do they hit me? Do they lie? Are they a drunk? It makes about as much difference for someone who loves me and never acts on it as it doesn't for someone who loves me and never acts on it by neglecting me.

Someone could love you very much and it doesn't matter because you don't know, they don't interact with you and they keep their distance. Someone could love you and sexually assault you. Values and enactment is what matter. Emotions just are.

Signed
A complete pragmatist

I believe that there is such thing as unconditional love. I love my family that way. I don't always like them but I love them.

I don't believe that "love never dies". I was very much in love with my ex but not at all now.
Caring if someone dies and loving then is very different, IMHO

Romantic love is sometimes different, personality, life experience, maturity, etc makes it very individual. I can't comment on the experience of others just speaking of my own.

The only problem I have with the idea of unconditional love is that these days, so many people’s interpretation of what that actually means, seems to involve not holding others responsible/making them accountable for their behavior.

Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love. Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging.

It doesn't imply those who enjoy it enjoy no accountability. The whole point is, just because someone does unkind, mean, disrespectful things does not mean you stop loving them. If you love conditionally then you can't claim it was ever unconditional.

Unconditional love stops after abuse. When love changes into fear, how is it possible to love and fear someone at the same time?

I have loved unconditionally, until I realized that I was afraid of the person. I don't think you can love someone that hurts you over and over.

I agree that the child and parent love is unconditional.


Other than that I'm not so sure. I can't help but think realistically on this. No matter how much you love someone is there not lines they could cross? I don't think love can go away in the blink of an eye but if someone crosses lines.... Combine that with time and it could very well go away. When you say unconditional I think literal. I do have a child and a family and there are lines that could be crossed. (Abuse. Murder. Etc) Horrific thoughts yes but because of these things I don't think I can say unconditional. Sure I can say if these things are not done but then that's not unconditional. Don't get me wrong. I believe in love and I believe love can be forever. Just not unconditional outside of my first sentence.

Only unconditional love that I have received is from my dog. She doesn't judge, doesn't hate on the choices I make.

Hello Kitty would love you unconditionally.

Ahahahaha no not HK. Please no not HK.

I am going to add cheating to the mix. I loved my ex unconditionally but a couple of heartbreaks later, my heart turned to stone and the love got crowded out.

Everyone's ideas about unconditional love are appreciated but I have to say while you may believe you love someone unconditionally until they do something to cross the line, then it is not unconditional at all but very conditional. It may come as a rude awakening that you did not love them as much as you thought you did because you never believed they would ever cross your boundary but, as long as you have a boundary it's not unconditional. However, I think we are capable of loving someone very much and yet if they cross a boundary -infidelity, abuse, murder then we find we love less or not at all-this has nothing to do with unconditional love-

Note to JD..I believe your doggie loves you unconditionally..pets trust us, depend us, and teach us how to love back:candle:

I'm still searching for it within myself and within the universe... I believe in it like a child that blindly believes in a fairytale or magic... I cannot provide empirical proof of its existence... I cannot even rationalize it as a transcendental phenomenon in Kantian sense... Yet, I choose to believe that unconditional love exists somewhere, between some entities, that it can be felt and provided under some magical circumstances, without questions, without conditions and without debts of ethics or ratio.

I disagree. I believe that unconditional love, just like love, can fade away. I can (and did) love someone through betrayal, abuse, etc and even after I was away from the situation, I loved that person but it fades and goes away.

I don't think unconditional love has to be forever to be unconditional. I think the presence of it is enough to qualify as unconditional.

I think it goes back to what imperfect_cupcake said, the definition of unconditional love is subjective to one's own interpretation.

I can see this point as well. Makes sense to me. It's unconditional WHILE its there.

Hmmmm........ But then if something killed it.....


I like these different aspects. Leaves me thinking. :)

I think love outside of immediate family *should* be conditional. I think that would be very healthy. I would love my parents even if they killed someone and ate them. Would I want to hang out with them? Probably not. But I would still love them, care very much they were ok in jail. Probably check up on them. Probably still visit them.

My birth mum is crazy, crazy and a hoarder. She will hord animals if she can and that is a form of animal abuse. She doesn't understand or believe this hurts them. I know why she got this way and it breaks my heart. I want her to be happy and I wish she didn't feel the way she does or do the things she does. I still love her.

My brother is a literal psychopath. He was diagnosed many years ago. He has been under a lot of treatment by cutting edge people. I don't know if he has stopped being a danger to others. He was exceptionally abusive to me growing up. I don't believe that its something he can help more than a shark can help its nature. I can't blame a bear for being a bear, nor a shark for being a shark. His brain is literally different from ours. He was born a preditor.
I do love him in that I have love feelings for him, as well as anger, disgust, etc. I probably think its in the community's best interest to shoot him.

I remember seeing a season of a tv show where a mother learns that her son is raping and killing women. He's an odd sort and skinny and get bullied a lot by the local lads. And she realised if he goes to jail, he will be severely bullied for the rest of his life. Like he has been bullied since that age of 6 by other kids. So instead she kills him. I think this is a perfect demonstration of a) unconditional love b) still understanding the person is accountable, even though they may not be fully functional to blame.

Brilliant show by the way. One of my favourites. The main character is a late middle aged woman cop who is a grandmother. And she is AWESOME.

Anyway, unconditional love means you love unconditionally, in my books. It doesn't mean you can't have the desire to stop their monsterous behaviour.

But all other kinds of love is still meaningful to most people.

I think our lack of names for the different kinds of love is a serious linguistic handicap. The Ancient Greeks had about 30 names for love to describe love in all of its different shades and complexities. You could love people in more than one way, you weren't limited to one type of love per user. The big seven are:

Eros
Philia
Ludos
Agape
Pragma
Storge
Philautia

The Greek term -- Storge -- is most likely the type of love I tend to favor. Not on an biased type of way, but because of the way it develops over time, and the way it grows in an organic kind of way.

I relate to your post cupcake... like, my family was sooooo dysfunctional and still is...., but although I have loving feelings for some of my family, I usually draw the line and make distinctions about the way I can love them, or not.

Love is such a tricky thing. But, love is also an emotion, and like emotions, if left unregulated or left unchecked or not held to accountability, can be, most likely, as hurtful and damaging as its other emotive counterparts (ie, hate, scorn, blissfulness, happyness, et al).

I think, in my case, I view love as something that most likely is not unconditional. I think conditions are driving factors in emotive processes.... and if left unchecked and not regulated or held to reasonable limits or levels of accountability, can have any number of outcomes (+\-).

Unconditional = without ANY conditions, without limitations and without expiration date, thus it means fully, truly and forever.

As humans, we exist in a finite state of constant conditioning. We condition our own selves... We condition everything.

As much as I believe in human goodness. I haven't felt or witnessed such love beyond hypotheses. Life is constant evolution with respect to one's emotional intelligence, I'm working on my own ability to love the universe and myself better, working for progress and against regression every day.

***** bumping for a good Sunday read *****

My wife turned to me last week and said, "thank you for making me feel loved unconditionally".

Dang, I fell in love with her all over again.

I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts here and it has made me examine my own ...Unconditionally loving is subject to one's personal scope of experience and idealism. We are imperfect beings and love accordingly...The universe understands..Is there a more perfect love? Probably, but I think everyone (on this planet) has boundaries and we do the best we can..I'm still working on mine:tea:

I don't believe in unconditional love. Everything has conditions.

This conclusion is based on experience.

Sexual and emotional abuse are an unfortunate part of experiences I've dealt with in my life. And, in many ways, as I have learned, via personal therapy or counseling or by active involvement in support groups for DV or Alcohol driven issues (I attend Al-anon), that I have an acute awareness concerning issues which are often connected with issues of abuse.

I stand by prior posts I have made in the past concerning ideas about if love is conditional or unconditional. For me, love --- whether it's platonic by nature or by romantic design, is *not* unconditional. Love is operant on conditions, conditions which must be present in order for an healthy type love to thrive or survive. If optimal conditions for love to exist are not present (or met), then in my case, love can't bloom.

:candle::candle: :candle:

Yes, obviously unconditional love means different things to different people. I think you can love someone for who they are and what you have shared together and not for the things they do or do for you or how they feel about you. I love 3 of my exes unconditionally. I don't expect anything from them and don't expect them to love me unconditionally. My love just reached a very deep level with them and even though we didn't work out as a couple I still have a special place in my heart for them that will never change no matter how they feel about me and how much I might disagree with some of their opinions about me, lol. I also would do whatever I could for them if there is anything I could do to help. I have also never been severely abused or mistreated by any of them, so that has not been put to the test.

I feel my girlfriend and I love each other unconditionally. That we love each other for who we are, including our flaws, and what we share and that we will always love each other and be there for each other even if we were not to work out as a couple. I feel her unconditional love very strongly, stronger than I have with any other person. We are still a new couple and only time will tell, but I do believe we have unconditional love - by my personal definition of what that means.

I agree 100%

ahhh....the love I have for my grandchildren is unconditional. As is the love for my daughter. Those are givens.

as for romantic relationships, I think over the years I have learned there is one condition that needs to be established for the relationship to work. No abuse. Everything else is negotiable. And re-negotiable.

Also in the past few decades, I have loved 2 people that just chewed hard on that love like it was a poor cut of meat. I loved them anyway. I walked away only because my sanity was at risk. They werent abusive but loving them hurt me. I have now made that a condition...that if in loving someone hurts me, I need to leave. I need to love myself at all times, even at the cost of not loving someone else...

loving me, I have decided over the years, is unconditional