Old man
 

an old man in a nursing home is about to celebrate his 101 birthday so all his buddies show up to surprise him. They sneak him in a few things , have a good time talking about old times and deciede to leave. Oh says one of the guys, we have a gift for you, almost forgot. They open the door and in walks a vivacious blond wearing nothing but a smile . They turn and leave with a "have a nice time bud". She walks over to the birthday boy and says, "hey birthday boy I am here to give you super sex. The old man looks up at her and says honey, at my age, I'll take the soup............

ok ok here we go with a blonde joke......

2 blondes are driving down the highway going to go to Disneyland.
Along the way they see a sign that says Disneyland left. So both girls starting crying and turned back around and started driving home.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny.
:canadian:

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at her ta-tas when she said, "please press one. "
So I did. I don't remember much after that.

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Two Eskimos were sitting in a kayak and got quite chilly. One lit a fire in the craft, but of course it sank.

This proves that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

So the client that inspired this thread was in the state hospital for nearly two years. She recently moved back to the group home and we have restarted our tradition of trading corny jokes. Here's the one she told me this week:

Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

A: An investigator!

:cheesy:

A blonde lady gets pulled over by a cop who is also blonde. The cop walks to the driver's window and says, "let me see your drivers license." The lady digs in her purse and can't find it. She asks the officer, "what does it look like? I'm not sure I have it." The cop responds, "it's a little square with your picture on it." The lady says, "oh. I have that." Then she pulls out her compact with the mirror and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says, "I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? You can go."

Hope this one wasn't already posted. 😀

Q. Why doesn't the Easter Bunny make noise when he has sex?

A. Because he has cotton balls.

Q. What do you call a mischievous egg?

A. A practical yolker

Q. Why did the rabbit cross the road?

A. It was the chicken's day off.

Hoppy Easter everyone!

So a dyslexic man walks into a bra.



*Wanted to throw in some levity, the Presidential thread can be very emotional. Breathe.......

two blonds
 

Two blonds were passing each other on opposite sides of the river when one calls out to the other "hey , how do I get to the other side". The other calls back "you're already there"

Colors
 

If a bag of oranges is a bunch of oranges and a bag of lemons are a bunch of lemons why aren't grapes a bunch of purples? (groan)

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.