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Gemme 12-08-2014 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade (Post 954771)
Christmas Elf's birthday today, she was cranked up to say the least. She of course got in trouble and got her butt popped. She squealed it's MY bursday you can't do that on my bursday!

She's never heard of birthday spankings? lol

Candelion 12-08-2014 07:04 PM

Bah! Humbug!
 

CherryWine 12-11-2014 08:17 AM

http://gagthat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/1.jpg

Kobi 12-11-2014 08:59 AM

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...dba5bd16a4.jpg

Blaze 12-13-2014 04:42 PM

Being told to open a package very carefully to which I did. Then being all excited about the puzzle and grinch questionnaire.
Texting a thank you! Then being asked if I looked inside. I said emm hmm.. she said what did you see? I said pretty stickers, puzzle and note.. and sent proof. .
Again did you look inside? I didn't want to open the wrapping because of stickers, so I opened the side. This time I carefully opened the wrapping all the way. And inside the best gift ever! A tracing of her hand, with colored nails and a message. .
Cracked me up that for once I listened carefully and almost missed the best part of my surprise gifts. . Hears to listening, lol

Zimmeh 12-13-2014 07:26 PM

Going to my job tonight after Christmas shopping. When my coworker opened the drive thru window, I said, "I need a tall peppermint mocha" in a deep Southern accent. He laughed so hard and closed the window on me. When he came back, I handed him three Hershey chocolate bars for the people closing.

Gemme 12-13-2014 07:27 PM

The combination of Jimmy Fallon and Ricky Gervais
 



girl_dee 12-13-2014 08:07 PM

Pump up bra inserts at the dollar store

Kobi 12-16-2014 02:36 PM

A Full Disclosure Blog: Three Reasons You DON'T Want To Adopt Eddie The Terrible.
 

We know, we know. He is adorable. All small and yellow and fluffy. A little bit tubby which makes him seem more softer somehow, like a dog you can trust with your secrets. Don't be fooled. Yes, he is a great listener. But inside that innocuous adorable blonde package exists tons - indeed, whole square miles - of naughty.

It's true: Eddie the Terrible IS terrible. And we have three great reasons you shouldn't even think about adopting him.

1) Like to go for walks in dog infested areas? Enjoy the dog park? Keep walking....

While Eddie The Terrible has never actually attacked another dog, he's made it abundantly clear that he hasn't ruled out the possibility. He goes from zero to Cujo in .05 seconds when he sees another dog on leash. Well, sayeth you, lots of small dogs bark at other dogs on leash. True. But we know people expect a lot from dogs in this day and age and when it comes to leash theatrics, Eddie's at the top of his game. Also true: he's made some progress. But lest his adorable little blond-ness let you think this is going to be a plug-and-play dog, think again.

Granted, if there's no other dogs around he's wonderful to take for a stroll. He loves him some leash walks and yard time. But at the sight of another dog, all bets are off. It's Cujo time.

We're pretty sure somewhere out there exists someone patient enough to work with him on this or someone who frankly doesn't give a bean if he likes to scream his head off for a few seconds at the neighbor's lab. But in the interest of full disclosure, we have to be honest.

2) Want your kids to grow up with a full complement of fingers and toes? Not the dog for you.

Some dogs love kids. We have a bunch of child-lovin' dogs. Eddie the Terrible, however, is not one of them. Honestly he's a little whiffy with some adults, too. Not in an eat-them sort of way but in 'this makes me very nervous' sort of way. Eddie's never actually bitten anyone but we're not saying it could never happen.

In a home environment Eddie is lovely. He's housebroken, loyal, fun and friendly. He lives to play fetch. But socially? He stinks. We're in Silicon Valley - if we started throwing out the socially awkward no one would ever have another piece of new technology again. We know somewhere out this little guy has a match.

3) Looking for a simple dog that will sleep in his crate? Not your guy.

So let's talk about the bed. Or the sofa. Or someplace that you generally like to hang out because that's where Eddie's going to want to bunk. Worried about dog hair on the furniture? Very valid worry if you adopt Eddie. While Eddie is crate trained, he has a weird thing about sleeping in the crate. And by weird thing we mean 'nope, not happening'. A bed in your room? Awesome. In the bed with you? Better. In a crate? Let him sing you the song of his people...

In fact if you're looking for a floor-sleeping, speed bump of a dog that minds his own business, strike Eddie clean off your list. Eddie demands interaction. Not all the time and not in that follow-you-around-and-bark sort of way that makes you want to stick your head in the oven, just in a 'whither though goest, I goest' way. Or however that goeth. You're in the living room? Cool, he wants to watch TV with you. Going outside? Did we mention that he loves fetch? Heck, if he didn't want to eat other dogs he'd be a shoo-in as an agility pooch as he's played on the equipment and is pretty fearless.

Let's face it: unless you're looking for a dog that's a little bit of work, Eddie The Terrible is not the dog for you. We know, we know. He's super loyal, easy in the house and a lot of fun but he's a little rough around the edges. Actually he's kind of a jerk. But he's a jerk we believe in. We're not expecting you to want to meet him but if you must, we really can't deter you.

If you love a challenge, are looking for the dog of a lifetime and think you can handle the thirteen pounds of terror that is Eddie, we won't stop you. You just go ahead and call 1.408.262.2133 ext 150. But don't say we didn't warn you.

http://hssvacc.blogspot.ca/search?up...&max-results=1

A. Spectre 12-16-2014 04:44 PM

don't you think the sound may be.....well....kinda muffled?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B1NAbDEIEAAjjnR.png

WildHorses 12-16-2014 05:38 PM

Catching another mouse!

Fancy 12-17-2014 09:21 AM



:-)
Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

cinnamongrrl 12-17-2014 06:25 PM

Kitten little....

She was running SO fast that her back feet came up off the ground and she was running on just her front legs for a few seconds...lol

and

A really BIGman in a super sized truck....with two tiny dogs in his front seat... I love irony

girl_dee 12-17-2014 07:28 PM

http://www.homedepot.com/catalog/pro...0526d1_400.jpg

MasterfulButch 12-18-2014 02:18 AM

http://www.memeforge.net/memes/img/m...6812539392.jpg

CherryWine 12-18-2014 01:08 PM

Ummm.........yum?
 
http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.co...ke-a-penis.jpg

nekohl 12-18-2014 07:04 PM

Watching Youtube clips of the White Christmas dance numbers, and then reenacting them with my coworkers. We cracked ourselves up.
Every time I walked past the receptionist I did the little hair flip thing Vera Ellen does in the number when shes wearing the yellow dress. Lots of giggling today

The best things happen when you're dancing..... ahem

A. Spectre 12-21-2014 05:26 PM

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/...a-map27fo1.JPG

Blade 12-21-2014 08:39 PM

Dad...did Mom tell you what happened to me Friday
Me... nope what happened
Dad..Moma has been putting this stuff (Litocaine) on my throat before I eat so I can swallow without pain.
Me... uh huh
Dad..she was gone but told me to go ahead and eat. I was going to Crossroads to eat. So I turned up that medicine bottle and drank a few big swigs.
Me...Daddy are you crazy? Didn't you read the bottle?
Dad...well I ate about half my meal and started to feel sick. I got up and started stumbling around and the girls came running to help me. I told them I felt dizzy. Ask them to get my phone out of the van.
Me..starting to laugh, I'd hate to tell Mom Iz to stupid to read the bottle
Dad.. shhhh Im not done, I started gagging and they ran and got me a trash can. I threw up what I had eaten and even lost my teeth
Me...laughing hysterically OMG
Dad...I went out to the van and waited on ya Moma to come get me.
Me..still laughing...did you not know that is to numb your throat and you spray or drizzle it down ya throat not drink it.
Dad...well Im scared of it now. I havent had it anymore. I thought that shit was gonna kill me.

Kenna 12-23-2014 08:16 PM

Chihuahuas and crazy chickens!
The chickens think they are ducks....and the chihuahua thinks he owns the recliner.

Blade 12-23-2014 08:57 PM

Actually it was Saturday night. I have my alert tone set to a laser sound. Its loud enough to wake me.

My sister was texting me from work and said she would get back to me after work. I fell asleep about 12:15, woke up at 2am thinking she must have forgotten me. I grabbed my glasses and picked up my phone, there was 44 text messages. This means my laser that would wake the dead went off 44 times and I was so hard asleep I didnt hear it. I read them all and text her back. She text me right back and said where the hell you been? LOL duh what could I say? I said I guess I fell asleep. She said what the hell are you doing awake now? Chuckling....I said well after my phone blew up 44 times I figured Id better check it out. She said you a damn liar that was hours ago.

Fancy 12-24-2014 11:33 AM

*snicker
 
We wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So we met with our lawyer yesterday, and on her advice we wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that any country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards ( without prejudice )
Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).

Kenna 12-24-2014 11:49 AM

Skippy the famous chihuahua has been glued to his daddy since 6am this morning when he started preparing treats and other goodies for tomorrow...everywhere Skip's daddy went, Skip was on his heals. They have had a very busy morning. ...When Blade was done in the kitchen, he went to his bedroom to wrap gifts...Skip was right behind him, his little nails skittering on the hardwood floors....
Well...I guess he got bored watching his daddy make a mess of wrapping paper and boxes, because he just came running out to me, jumped on my lap, got very comfy using my leg as a pillow, and very quickly was snoring contently.
He's a warm little bug!!
I guess he's been going full steam all morning and needed a nap.

A. Spectre 12-26-2014 05:20 PM

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-72nZn3hFGm...600/funny8.jpg

TruTexan 12-26-2014 09:56 PM

This morning, my neighbor was checking his fluids in his car and adding antifreeze to his engine. My cat loves this guy, so he see's him out in front of the car, saunters on over and stretches up on the grill with his paws to see what he's doing. I laughed and said Buddy (my cat's name) what are you doing over there? MY cat jumps up on the engine, starts walking around looking down and the neighbor guy turns to me and says..........he's gonna check my oil for me........
Made me laugh, cause my cat loooked like he was doing something up on that motor. LOL

Blade 12-26-2014 10:15 PM

Dad to Mom...Did you throw that wisk broom out of my van and into the yard

Mom..no, I didn't clean out the van you did

Dad..well I didn't do it

Mom..well I guess someone just came up in the yard and said hey lets clean out this van. Then decided naaa lets just take this broom out of it and throw it in the yard.

Chuckles..they have hourly spats like this, sometimes it is really a tale of who has the most wit. Visiting sometimes it is like refereeing at the rest home.

Blade 12-28-2014 01:04 PM

After taking Mom on an all day excursion and missing the game I wanted to watch I finally made it home about 8. Got almost all of my treasures in the house and my phone rang.

In a gruff loud almost drunken voice, I her FL say where the hell are you at
me...standing in my kitchen, I just got home
FL...why the hell aint you at my house
me...I didnt kniw I was suppose to be
FL....my wife said she text you
me...she said we are having our gettogether this Sat. I thought she was talking about YOUR FAMILY
FL...you are my family and you've got about 30 minutes to get here, maybe 45 and Im coming after ya. Dont make me come after ya

omg did he get ripped, I did not, but had a good time
he was quite the entertainment last night

LeftWriteFemme 12-28-2014 08:30 PM

http://images.liveluvcreate.com/crea...x-417691.jpg?i

A. Spectre 12-30-2014 08:23 AM

really? what a maroon who did this. *wink* or....a devilish sense of humor.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...dc8b0ba3c6.jpg

Fancy 12-30-2014 08:47 AM

book nerd humor :)
 
I laughed because it's true!

http://i.imgur.com/vSMbJjk.png

Degotoga 01-06-2015 09:19 PM


Gemme 01-07-2015 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Degotoga (Post 961552)

Guess he didn't tie them on as good as he thought.

:blink:

Daniela 01-07-2015 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 961623)
Guess he didn't tie them on as good as he thought.

:blink:

In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

Orema 01-07-2015 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniela (Post 961638)
In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

I almost wet myself when he started saying, "I know my rights! I know ..." Too funny.

Gemme 01-07-2015 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniela (Post 961638)
In his defense, he wanted to get to Meemaw's before the beer got too hot.

:rofl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orema (Post 961640)
I almost wet myself when he started saying, "I know my rights! I know ..." Too funny.

And when he tried to crawl back up on the tractor.

Made my morning!

Degotoga 01-07-2015 08:01 PM

Here's another for y'all's entertainment...
 

Daniela 01-08-2015 03:41 AM

I love that he kept raising the lift to taunt the officer. LOL

Gemme 01-08-2015 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Degotoga (Post 961722)

It's been a rough week for the Steves of the world.

One of my favorite Steves of all time.




Daniela 01-11-2015 08:29 AM

It's not a new video, but it makes me LOL every time.


Gemme 01-11-2015 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniela (Post 962360)
It's not a new video, but it makes me LOL every time.


If you liked that one, try Denver's best/worst antics.



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