ARRRRGH I am so tired of pretenders, sometimes I think its better to stay single when living in a small town where people are afraid to admit who or what they are..

I hate having to be someones dirty little secret...

I refuse to be, so if that means being single for life than that's how it will be.

ARRRRRRGHHHHH

What is on my mind is just how stupid this movie is. However, I feel compelled to watch it since I recorded it....

my nephew fell off a roof two weeks ago. he is still in the hospital... he was in icu until two days ago. he was in bad shape with broken ribs and punchured lung.. they have all that stabelized but he has a serious brain injury and just doesn't seem to be pulling out of it. his wife and family that lives close to him are going threw training to learn how to care for him when he comes home... my sister (his mother) called last night to ask if I would be willing to come up there and help with his care. of course I will. the only problem is him and I got into it a few months back ending in him calling me a dyke lesbian, that didn't offend me other than the tone he used and the fact that he wasnt raised with hate.. in fact its just not allowed in our family. he has been hanging out with some people that are haters and taking on some of there habits.. but reguardless ill be there for him and the rest of the family.
he believes he is in a hotel and nothings wrong and wants to go home.

Doctor did X-rays and then some today when I went in for a general check-up. He asked if I knew i had a mild case of scoliosis in my spine up between my shoulder blades and said it might explain why I have pain where I do. The weird thing is, well, I have never had to have an X-ray done before so I don't know if this is pre-existing or not. It kind of boggles me but he didn't seem concerned in the least, so..

He did give me some meds - an anti-inflammatory, vicodine and flexirol? I am trying to wrap up my already late homework and submit and hope she will give me an exception, then pop one and hope to be dead to the world.

I need some sleep, and need to get my sugar back under control.

... While waiting in the waiting room, we even settled on a girl's name, and it feels so right to me that it makes me feel all warm, fuzzy good vibes. A boy would be Michael Thomas in lieu of our father's, and a girl would be totally more unique - Taryn Elizabeth. I just looked at the wife and said "Dude, that is a kickass name.. She is going to rock it!"

What is on my mind...
 

taking off my rose colored glasses....

What is on my mind
 

How much pain I am in and the only answer I keep coming back to for how to deal with said pain.....

The French Quarter!

Sleep

Went to bed, slept a couple of hours ... now wide awake. I finally gave up and came here. Staring over at the clock beside my bed every 15 minutes was not helping. So much to do tomorrow. Must get a load of wood off my truck before I go in to work in the morning.

It will work out. :) I think so.

I realize you made this post a while ago but O.M.G. are you talking about N'awlins?????? Julie and I love going there. We're fortunate enough to live only a few hours from there so go as often as we can. Have fun!!


N'awlins Rules,
Brute.

I spent a lot of time deciding who I was and creating a life I love. I had to remember what I was passionate about and bring it back into my life. I chose to make goals and set myself up to make them happen...

I did a lot for me... and I am happy with what I have... now... I am sad... I want to share my joy for life with someone... and see it excite them as much as it does me...

As morbid as it sounds, i really need to get my will and power of attorney stuff put together.

Its not morbid to have this done. Thanks for the reminder. I changed my life insurance today then had to make the appt for the lawyer to do my will.

Everyone should look at these thing at leaset once every 5 yrs. Things change ppl. Make sure YOUR wishes r carried out not someone elsees.

I write tons of short stories and poems yet I never share them with anyone.

Its not morbid to have this done. Thanks for the reminder. I changed my life insurance today then had to make the appt for the lawyer to do my will.

Everyone should look at these thing at leaset once every 5 yrs. Things change ppl. Make sure YOUR wishes r carried out not someone elsees.

Someone reaching out that I swore I would never speak to again.
Deciding if it's worth the pain to forgive.
I don't want to be the bigger person.

And I don't think I will.

Mind
 

I made the right choice! Life is wonderful!

lts see what is on my mind ..... well if this isn't a loaded question ? lol and damn it .. where do I start ?

lolol

Punch It
 

Mind
 

How wonderful life is when you have positive and supportive people in your life.

What's on my mind this morning is how quiet it is:

The veil of fog, ensconcing the tree line and how its obscurity provides a peaceful beginning for my day;
nuanced by intermittent birdsong and the smoke rising from my neighbor's chimney (across the street).

And preparing for today's schedule of events
(choosing what to wear, etc).


And, coffee: French Roast + cream + honey + sprinkle of cinnamon.


*Good Morning*

:)

What is on my mind?

That I have an appointment with my hospice doctor tomorrow afternoon. I get to tell him that I have taken a higher dose of my morphine pills that is prescribed.
I am so not looking forward to telling him this. Will he yell at me? Or be pissed off at me? No. As he and all the doctors at the hospice are very understanding to me and my pain. Why have I taken more pills? Because I am in P-a-i-n! I am sick to death of being in pain from my tumor! They will be putting me of methadone tomorrow. I don't really have any high hopes in this new drug working for my pain. As nothing really has over the five years I had my awful pain.

On my mind....
 

I would really like to have some chocolate pudding pie right now, lol. With cool whip. Not whipped cream! Cool whip, in my humble opinion, is a far superior product in both taste and consistency.

Okay; and not "some." I'm gonna need a lot of it. And a giant shot of espresso to wash it all down, lol.

Right now the return call from my doctor I am expecting in 15 minutes. How long it took two friends to badger me into making this call. They should have to suffer the consequences of this call not me. I didn't want to know....

What is on my Mind?
 

Expectations, holidays and health. I was hoping for an upswing in 2013, it will definitely be a year of changes again.

My best butch bud has been on my mind. She put in a two week notice of resignation as director of a drug treatment center and has been working nights as a drug counselor at her new job. She is totally exhausted. After Friday, she will be finished working her two week notice and will be able work her one new job and not two. She is in dire need of some rest right now.

I am so thankful she switched jobs. As director, she had to fire two male counselors this year. They were not doing their job by corporate rules so she had to come down on them. Both became physically threatening to the point her nurses called the police. She was not physically harmed but I need to add "YET" to the end of my previous sentence. Heck, the clients (drug addicts) were like gentle lambs compared to her male counselors.

Mind
 

I miss my cat. Until weather clears up cant fly her home. They dont heat cargo areas im not leaving my baby in the cold for 8 hrs.

Why does life have to hurt so bad some times

Chuckie Baby
 

thankful
 

Thankful for little things. Learning a lot about myself as a single woman after a 34 year partnership. Navigating thinking about getting to know other women without having dinner and renting the you haul the next day. Wanting to date with velcroing myself to someone or visa versa. Liking my space. Feel like online stuff and meeting on dating sites is not my cup of tea but I feel too old to go to a bar like I did in the early days. Not sure that bars in NY exist like I used to go to..anyone remember Sahara, La Femme, all of a sudden can't remember the name of bar on Sheridan Sq. Oops senior moment. I feel socially inept. Any suggestions.:deepthoughts::nailbitin::nailbitin:

Empty, filler conversation.