My cousin.

She's been gone 3 years but I had a dream about her Sunday night. In the dream I ran into her and although I thought she had died she hadn't but had been in hiding for 3 years. I asked why but didn't get an answer. She seemed to be in a hurry. I woke up feeling yucky and it's been on my mind since.

My dad. He is being non compliant with his medical team.

I know that feeling. My dad won't even see a medical anything.

As for what's on my mind...I hope I have all the tools I need in order to build my dresser.

Glad I'm not alone. It's starting to take a toll on my mom, she is beyond mad.

On my mind....
 

Approximately a hour ago, I awoke to a telephone call inviting me to an interview this Friday morning.

After today's long drive through crazy Charlotte...a draining, emotional, stressful meeting with a new specialist...then long drive back through crazy Charlotte ....I'm ready for a few days of movie marathons and activities to help me "zone out"...

can I just say ...
 

Cold weather, autumn breezes and I've got the blues. This time of year hits me harder than most. Holidays are coming up and I can't decide what would be worse, seeing my family and enduring the drama, or not seeing my family and feeling estranged. Ugh.

Work is on my mind.

Change is coming. The teacher I have been working under for the better part of the last five years is retiring... in the middle of the year. Its going to be a difficult transition, both for the team (there are 5 paras in our program, including myself) and for the autistic students we work with. Its a brand new program. We just started it this year and so many of our staff members are new to us.

I am pretty worried about who her replacement will be. Her last day is in a week and a half, and they havent hired anyone new yet! How scary is that!!

I am the only para in our program who knows everything for every student and every para schedule. So, when push comes to shove... if someone new comes in late... I have to teach them the ropes.... no pressure or anything.

Not being able to travel to go to my godfather's funeral. It is weighing very heavily on my mind and heart, I am thinking that I shouldn't let it bother me so much, but it does.

Big day tomorrow, need to get a lot done

Too much to really type, my brain is overactive at this moment!

A few things.

When I got up this morning, while entering the bathroom, I saw myself in the mirror, which got me to thinking. What the hell am I doing when I am sleeping to get my hair/bedhead to stick up in odd places? Hmmmm

good question, SB

On my mind is up coming holiday, 4 days of rest (OK, Thursday cooking might not be rest to some, but it is for me)

End of semester is like 4 weeks away, yay.

the now, double thanksgiving meal preparing for 2 different sets of the family.

I'm running in the "Drumstick Dash" 5k on Thursday. It is supposed to be snowing that day.

Soooo, am I dedicated enough to run in snow????

But, am I dedicated enough to run in the snow at the crack of dawn on Thanksgiving??????

December please
 

I'm going to skip Novembers from now on. Go from Halloween to Christmas like the retail world.

My Tigger girl kitty of 17 years crossed the Rainbow Bridge Nov. 21
Novembers past, my Mom passed away, Nov.2'nd, my Gramma Nov. 11', and my brother committed suicide at 16 the day before Thanksgiving, then the old man died the day after Thanksgiving the following year.

Probably some finite cosmic string connecting the lives of those once In my life.
Hmmm, wondering what it's all about Alfie.

Hopefully the sun comes out so I can grill dinner

The storm that seems to be sitting just over the top of my house.

A lot has been going on, but i felt awful when i remembered that i had forgotten our 12 year anniversary of our first date.

Twelve years...so much has happened in those years...life, love, loss, sadness, and such incredible joy.

May we have many more years together. :hangloose:

Thoughts
 

Lately, spurred on by what's happening in Ferguson and also within the human world at large, I've been thinking a lot about the role of media in my life as well as the need for hope and perspective.



I was re-watching some clips of an old interview with the late, great folk singer and activist Utah Phillips by Democracy Now's Amy Goodman and it both stimulated my mind and helped me regain a bit of perspective in the whirlwind and make it through the day. While I may not agree with everything he says and certainly respect everyone's right to disagree, I still wanted to share it with anyone who may be interested and hopefully extend a teaspoon to anyone who needs it. :)

How I really don't want to spend time with family tomorrow.

it depends on the family for me. I cherish every moment with my sister and her family. My brother, not so much.

all the cooking that has to be done tomorrow.

i'm really hoping to get most of it done tonight.

This time of year is always hard for me...I miss Momma D and both my boys so much

One of my patients recently broke up with her girlfriend. She came in yesterday not looking too good. Turns out her ex beat her up the night before.
I didn't know what to say to her.
I let her tell me what happened, but I had no wise words of wisdom to offer.

I wish I knew what to say.

I cannot believe it's Thanksgiving! How did we get to this point so quickly? The next thing you know, it will be the December Holidays and then 2015.

I'm thinking about a lot this morning. We have a very small family here in Oklahoma. Last year our Thanksgiving consisted of my parents, my two sisters, brother, brother-in-law, nephew, niece, and her fiancé. That's not a bad turnout. My sister cooked the turkey and the stuffing and I cooked everything else. It was a good time.

Well, this year is much different. It will just be my parents, myself, and my brother My older sister, my brother-in-law, and my nephew hit the road last night to go camping in Galveston for the long weekend. My twin sister has gone off the deep end this year and now lives in Houston as of last month. My niece and her fiancé will be at her father's house. I don't think it's ever been this small.

I told my mom that I would cook everything this year and as of last week, that was going to happen. But she informed me this past weekend that they wanted to go out to dinner instead. I was a bit disappointed because who doesn't love eating all of that homemade food? But it's really not about the meal as it is about the people you are spending it with.

So that brings me to what I am grateful for... I am most grateful that my parents are still here with us. I am grateful for the rest of my family as well, even though I may not be very happy with one of them right now.

I am grateful for my friends, especially my BFFs C and L. (you know who you are). Without you two, over the last three months, I would have been a permanent visitor in a padded room. I am grateful for my Austin friends who have taken me under their wing and shown me what true unconditional friendship is.

I am grateful to have a job in which I can work at home and make my own hours. I am grateful for my two pups who give me unconditional love every single day, no matter what I look like or the mood I'm in. I am grateful for my own health. Last but not least, I am grateful for this site and the people on it, which is a place I can come to where people actually get me. Not sure what I would do without it. I may not know most of you in person but a lot of you bring me joy through your posts of in chat. So thank you for that.

I'm sure I'm missing some things but I think this is long enough already and breakfast is ready so I have to go eat.

I'll leave it and say Happy Thanksgiving. Be grateful for what you have even the smallest of things as you never know when things might change.

That I finally need to finish the song I composed...somehow the lyrics don't fit..hmmm

I apologize I didn't see this till now!

I cherish my family but it brings to light that I have another family, I have yet to spend a holiday with along with my birthmother!

Deep thoughts....wait for it...
 

...the more you like pears, the longer they take to ripen.

What is on my mind is that my feet are freezing and I am looking for my fuzzy socks, I think they are in my covers somewhere... oh brother!

I remember as a kid watching Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. I could never understand why there was an elf who was a dentist and why they had the island of misfit toys. Those toys kind of freaked me out actually. As an adult, I get why they used the misfits because after all, wasn't Rudolph a misfit? I never wanted to watch it because of that island. Not sure why I am thinking of this but I am.

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/christmas/3d-rudolph.gif