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There are parts of this that are hilarious! Got it from a friend of mine in email....and had to share!
*** Adult Truths *** 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection - again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 24. People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered. 25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important....Ladies quit Laughing! |
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#19 .... does this happen more so ...... as we get older??? lol just a thought. goood morning random posters heading to breakfast here in a bit with a fellow lady Panther driver whom is in town and parked up the street, and snoozin at the moment. ..... we are going to a place here called Pano's... they have such awsome food there..... and great prices. I mean where else can you go and get steak and eggs for $5 .. :) lol ..... fresh and i do mean fresh squeezed OJ , unless i made it at home. .. this place use to be open 24 hrs .. but since they remodled there open late but not all night... i like taking friends visiting here for eats, cuz its NOT a chain and its a buffalo local place to eat.:) here's the link below, great great place. :) |
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Wow.. just wow.
:moonstars: |
Some people seem to lash out on the internet without quite knowing the whole story... It's as sad for them as it is for the person being slapped virtually....
(no I am not new to the internet! LOL) |
Do you think even Kate Middleton gets the old "You could have done so much better" speech from her mom? I bet she does. :)
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ICRAD
international crow and raven Appreciation day is 27. april.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2322093425 |
I have a wonderful magnet on my refrigerator that says.........
"I'm sorry. I just please need you to shut up for one minute." It makes my heart happy sometimes......there are 2 martini glasses on it, too. |
auto tuned news..so funny
it starts about 9 sec in
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I'm usually very careful in the Kitchen...
Today being a somewhat crappy Day, I was distracted, and somehow beyond my wildest understanding, a big glob of piping Hot Rosemary-infused Butter, not Margarine [shut up, I'm a foodie !!] landed on the web area of my left hand... :blink: A goopy glob not easy or quick to shake off, instinct kicked in while I was hopping around like a shmuck, and swiped it off... A flash of curses followed, realizing the Huge mistake... :bigcry: While gritting teeth from sting/pain, let the cool water wash over it, small relief... My negligence shall be chastised tomorrow I'm sure, Fridays, end of month are busy with everyone that make decisions for the next Month in Dialysis...and since the burn is on my dialysis arm.... Doc got his skivvies in a wad when he saw my henna tat .. Maybe he'll throw a tantrum this time...:explode: ~hmpf :angry: |
Is it sad that I want an office job just to attempt to do half of this list?
Office work dull? None of your colleagues appreciate your humour? Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution. ONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye" To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way" Walk sideways to the photocopier. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it" Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and utter, "Shut up, darn it, all of you just shut up"! At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again". Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade"? Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it". Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets. |
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Someone gave me a sugarfree chocolate bunny. Somehow that seems wrong, and he is still standing tall, with ears, and tail in tact. I don't think he's gonna live till morning. In fact, it's time for his demise.....:hangloose: |
There arent enough hours in the day...
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Vacations are great, until they are over.
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Ok ok , so today's weds., and the nurses were as tender as surrogate mothers...they did ask if it felt better...i sooo wanted to tell RN in charge " no-sniff-kiss the ouchie?", manners-chivalry etc.....oy
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:watereyes: Looks like I'm gonna have to severely Limit my coconut water intake [strictly limited with Potassium] :crybaby:
-=--=- Facts(and some Myths) about Coconut Water -=- -=- The talk: It speeds up your metabolism. The truth: "This is an urban legend," says Liz Applegate, Ph.D., director of sports nutrition at the University of California in Davis. "There is no valid research proving it." Another, albeit contradictory, myth: Coconut water makes you fat. This bad rap came from coconut milk, which is made from pressed coconut meat and packs 445 calories per cup, most from saturated fat. The water (the fluid in young coconuts) has only 46 calories per cup. Of course, for a truly trimming sip, opt for zero-calorie water, coffee or tea. The talk: It's nature's sport drink The truth: It's a fine post-workout chug for the average active Jane, but it falls short for more hard-core athletes. The gist: When you exercise, you sweat out a lot of sodium and some potassium. You should replace both after intense sweat sessions (more than an hour a day), so your muscles contract properly. Coconut water is a potassium powerhouse, delivering roughly 600 milligrams per cup, about 175 mg more than a banana does and 13 times what most sport drinks offer. "The problem is that it has only about 30 milligrams of sodium per cup; we lose much more than that during a long workout," Applegate says. Thus, serious athletes may need a sport beverage with a higher sodium-to-potassium ratio, such as Gatorade or Powerade Ion4; lighter exercisers can rehydrate with whatever they like best, including coconut water or plain H²O. The talk: It makes you look younger The truth: Coconut water contains cytokinins, plant hormones shown to slow the aging process in plants and fruit flies, according to a study in Molecules. Alas, the benefits aren't yet proven in humans. The search for the fountain of youth continues. The talk: It's a hangover helper The truth: There's a reason the morning after a bender is so painful: Alcohol dehydrates you, leading to nausea and headaches. Like any drink, coconut water refills your H²O stores, but plain water does the job just as well, notes Samir Zakhari, Ph.D., director of the Division of Metabolism and Health Effects at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. As for electrolytes, our kidneys preserve them when we drink, so there's no need to replace them with coconut water. If the taste lifts your postspirits spirits, go for it; but you can save cash (and calories) with the tap. The talk: It protects your ticker The truth: Diets high in potassium can help lower blood pressure and promote heart health, says Andrea Giancoli, R.D., spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. Coconut water is a good source of the mineral, but it's better to get it from whole foods like veggies (spinach, sweet potatoes) and low-fat milk, which supply additional heart-healthy nutrients such as fiber and vitamin D. Three more ways to crack this nut [no Pun] 1. Coconut milk: A sweet alternative to regular dairy, coconut milk is derived from the white meat of a mature coconut, and it provides almost as much healthy potassium as coconut water does. But beware its high saturated-fat content: One cup has about 43 grams. A few stores that cater to Health-conscience people, can have half-gallon coconut Milk cartons ready for consumption, some with added flavors for the adventurous. 2. Coconut milk beverage Diluted with water, it contains about five times fewer calories than conventional coconut milk. It tastes richer than coconut water. 3. Shredded coconut: Coconut meat isn't as high in potassium or sodium as coconut water, and it has about 388 calories and 22 g of saturated fat per cup. If you're tempted to cover yours in chocolate, opt for a snack-sized candy bar dipped in antioxidant-rich dark chocolate, which has only 80 calories and 3.5 g of saturated fat. (Don't mind if we do, Mounds bar!) |
It's sunny here and I was thinking of driving down to the coast...
maybe do some shopping, watch the waves, walk the beach (even if there's wind or rain), see if anyone is flying a kite... I :stillheart: going to the beach! |
Why is it that most places where you can get into a Work Study Program have f*cked up politics? United Way support the Boy Scouts of America, so that is out. American Red Cross is great, but they don't need anyone in my area. American Heart Association here is so disorganized (I have done volunteer work there) it would give me hives. Crap, crap, crappity crap.
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