Hahahaaaaa

*What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.


*Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.


*How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.


*I wrote a song about a tortilla, actually it was more of a wrap.

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?
With a cow-culator.

The illustrator had a sketchy past.


The cab had a checkered past.

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

I tried to catch fog once.

Mist.


Why did the scarecrow get a raise?

He was outstanding in his field.

why didnt the skeleton go to the halloween party?



he did not have the guts!

What do you say when you're comforting a grammar nazi?


There, Their, They're

Two guys walk into a bar and one yells for the bar tender "Hey jackass get us two beers" They finished, and again- same guy yells out at the bar tender "hey jackass! Get us two more beers"
He downed his beer and left, but the other guy was perplexed as to why the bartender didn't get enraged at someone calling him a jackass..So he asked him..Don't that piss you off when people call you names? The bartender spoke up and said.."Hee Haw, hee haways talk to me that way..:)

corny jokes
 

Why did the chicken cross the road? For foul reasons.

corny jokes
 

How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out. :giggle:

What disease do you get when you put up the Christmas decorations?


Tinselitus.