Feeling
 

I started feeling great a couple minutes ago and now I feel better if thats possible. Knowing you found who took that donation box and he is going to pay for it makes me super happy. I hate thieves and liars and he is both. Good on you my friend. Keep my room ready for me eh. LOL. Hugs to you both.

feeling somewhat fragmented ...

I just woke up from a dream and am now sitting in a chair in my bedroom.

The dream was not about me or anyone I know. It was about all people everywhere, people who are suffering with the virus, what they are experiencing, thinking, feeling.

I wish I could hug the world's pain away.

Last night I read an article about how weird people's dreams are right now. They think it has something to do with being removed from all the stimulus of the day, when you're quarantined, and the narrow focus on things on that are stressful. There's just so much to process, I don't think our brains get through it during the day and that leaves more work for the unconscious. Also sleep disorders are up. Maybe more people are using Ambian, which I've heard gives you vivid dreams. I have about five seconds of feeling okay in the morning when I wake up, before I remember what is happening.

Tired and didn't sleep well. Not working tomorrow and will catch up on rest.

Feeling
 

I feel pretty good. It is a beautiful sunny day yet cool. My kind of day.

Wow, that's a fancy chair! I bet it's lovely, though. I thought paying $75 for my rolling computer chair was a bit much but I've had it for almost a decade now so it was worth it. As long as it works and you use it, right?

This is one example of why I hate people.

As for myself, I feel underappreciated. My company is essential so I have to work and I see notices in the few stores I do go into explaining the ways they are trying to help their employees. One company has even added a small surcharge to about half of their inventory and that money will go into a pot and be divvied out as a 'bonus' to their employees. There's gratitude there and in the signs people have put in their yards for first responders and in relief efforts in D.C. to help nursing home employees as they are right in the thick of it. It may not be "enough" as enough is different for each person, but it's something.

And I'm getting nothing. While having to deal with customers like Example A. Example A comes into the store, having passed TWO "Please wear a face mask" signs, and he does have one on. We have to walk to a secondary location and during the walk, the mask finds it's way down past his nose. Fine, the nose covering is for him so whatever. Then, as we make our way back into the office, the mask just kind of drops and there is nothing protecting me from his germs. Once he's gone, I can sanitize the counter and spray the air but I have to wade through his breathed on air in which particles hang for up to 3 hours and I can't wait that long. I have to clean between each and every customer. I hold my breath but who knows what clings to what and now it's on the outside of my mask so I REALLY can't touch it, because we all know we shouldn't but we do. Mostly subconsciously but there's a whole lotta face touching going on out there.

Then I feel bad because I still have a job and a third of my state does not but then I heard what someone I know is getting from unemployment and it's got me riled up again because this person is making more money sitting at home on their ass and being safe and contained than I am, having to deal with inconsiderate a-holes who say, "It's okay, I don't have it." You don't know, buddy! 25% of people that have COVID-19 are asymptomatic.

Then I feel bad again because those that were laid off need to save that money since they won't have a job to come back to when the extra $600/week ends in July, I think. Not sure if it's June or July.

Then I get annoyed at my employer again because they make it sound like they are doing something but everything "they" are doing has been mandated, so it's not their idea. They just don't want to get fined.

Basically, I am on an emotional roller coaster, up one moment and gratefule that I am healthy and employed...pissed off the next for a variety of reasons...and then sad, also for a variety of reasons. Rinse, lather, repeat.

A little sleepy. A little hungry. But overall, pretty good.

Feeling
 

I feel great!

I talked to an old buddy today and that was wonderful. I think we said I love you 20 times. We met in 1993 when I was in college.
Oh how old friends bring you home.

Still grateful but....
 

Happy! I never thought I'd be this happy to have the opportunity to spend money on toilet paper. And despite hearing near every other day not to expect timely delivery of anything because the mail is all bogged down to have it arrive so quickly. It's like I've won the lottery.

Worried about people not practicing smart Covid19 guidelines. Thank goodness they haven’t opened our company ... yet.

Tired and hazy. Got to put a report together for my boss in the next hour and a half, and not sure how I'm going to keep my mind on it.

Tired but relieved. Report is done.

torn and conflicted.....

to be honest... even a bit disappointed

feeling somewhat edgie ... trying to work kinks out of a complex SQL statement ... need to get data to users ... this laptop my employer provided for home is hopped up, very nice but when I am needing it the most, it seems to drive bumpy ... similar to antiquated COBOL software (helmet required before executing) that has had a bazillion patches ... have lost connection numerous times today ... then have to log in at 5 different areas with different passwords to get back on and get to my stuff ... security a little much, you think?

with what people in the world are experiencing who have the virus, this is really not even a deal at all ... will get it completed and to users eventually

Good and a little nervous.

I gave my notice earlier this week and started the exit process yesterday. Three things happened in one day that broke the camel's back and made me realize "settling" isn't always good. Money will be tight(er), but I'll manage.

They've asked me to stay till June 30 to complete my projects and document some of my processes. Which I'll do because this company has been good to me and I would never leave them in the lurch.

I came into this company with a smile on my face and with my dignity intact. I will leave the same way.

Things could be worse.

Good for you! Congratulations! If I could, I would hand you a bottle of nice Champagne for a toast to YOU!

(In my experience, people who quit their jobs have usually waited too long to do so, and deserve a big CONGRATULATIONS when they finally do. Here's to YOU!)

accomplished...

when i make a list of everything i needed to do and everything i have done...well none of it matters now because the most important part was submitted successfully with three minutes to spare..:glasses: NOW... we wait... :seeingstars: