Congrats, Clay!

I have my annual CAT scan in a month (moved to annual this year). I am several months late on my colonoscopy. I get sick of doing them so often (every 6 months). The prep doesn't even bother me, it is just having to deal with medical stuff that gets annoying. And yeah, I guess I don't like being reminded of my history with cancer, either!

A year ago today I was four weeks out from some major surgery and was starting my first day of four months of some serious chemotherapy. I had shaved my head to donate my hair, rather than having it just fall out, and was in a dark scary place.

Today, I'm working in the morning, then taking my daughter on a college tour, and then I want to make a really good dinner. My hair is growing and I'm feeling healthy and strong. What a year...

The anniversaries are good for me to celebrate when I "reclaim" days because otherwise when I have these "one year later" moments it can just rear up anxiety and worry. The anxiety and worry still pop up, but I'm trying hard to crowd that out with positives.

Cheers, everyone!

Thanks for sharing your heart with us EGF!

Reclaiming is an excellent way to "take back" your life!!!

I am well aware of "anxiousness" & "worrisome" ideations along the journey!!

Congratulations on your surviving that dark journey my friend!!! I am elated you are still among us!!!!

For what it is worth, I am in silent support for you.....go get 'em girl!!!!!

Right back at cha, Clay!

My CAT scan is on 7/15/16. I am scheduled to see my oncologist on 7/19, but I need to change that because I have a conflict.

Hey, guys. Please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow!

I also decided that it was more important that I leave one meeting early and be late for the second one in order to go to my appointment on 7/19. I don't want to delay hearing the results of my scan.

Sending lots of positive thoughts to you today and I'm glad you have a fast turnaround on getting your results back. I hope you can plan some good relaxing activities to help you through the weekend wait...

A fun evening....NOT
 

Tomorrow is the day (again!). :blowingitup:

My colonoscopy is WAY past due. I am supposed to go every 6 months.

Please keep me in your thoughts....

Great news!
 

NOOOO polyps at all! That is the FIRST time that has happened at a colonoscopy since my cancer (5 of them, I believe). Every freakin' time I have polyps. He says I can go out to once a year now. Last time he told me every 6 months for the foreseeable future. Yay!

Thank for your support, guys!

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great news. Happy dancing for you :)

Happy Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!:cheer::cheer: That 5 year mark has to feel so good to check off- so happy for you!

A year ago today I had my last breast cancer treatment. This concluded 9 months of surgery, chemo, and radiation. I am so looking forward to starting my second year away from all of that. Today I have a nice day ahead with good friends coming for dinner. We hadn't planned it to fall on this day specifically but I'm glad we did!

Congratulations on your one year past treatment! Based on what you are saying, this means you are 1.75 years from surgery?

I've been wanting to ask you about something for a long time, and I think that other readers may find your response here useful. Subsequently, I am not writing this in PM.

After my surgery I became crazy nuts about eating vegan (plus shellfish...some people call this seagan), making sure all the foods I ate were also high in anti-oxidants, and went to see Dr. Keith Block (in Chicago), to do bloodwork to determine which supplements would be best for me and the doses. He has been doing integrative cancer work for over 35 years when no one else did (and are only starting to). His book Life Over Cancer is what I followed and as consistent with eating this way until a couple of years ago. www.lifeovercancer.com. I spoke about it ad nauseam on this thread as I very strongly believe in a mostly plant based diet and wanted all of my fellow "cancer survivors", to know about it. There is just too much data that tells us this. A lot of it is about inflammation.

(I do feel a need to admit that a year and a half ago I moved away from being strict in my eating. The bulk of the reason for this is that my old partner, whom I was with during my cancer and for more than several years afterwards, already ate vegan (plus shellfish), and was wonderfully conscious of buying organic and choosing vegetables and spices that have a lot of anti oxidants. However, I don't do a lot of cooking (although I have learned a lot and do more now), and chicken is quick and easy (so I eat that quite a bit), and I sometimes eat diary (cheese). I also don't completely avoid sugar, which I know causes tumor growth.) Anyway...

My recollection is that when you first came onto the site you had your own business working as a nutritionist or something or other that included how one eats and I believes supplements and the like. I believe that you eat vegan (or maybe I just assume it), and I know that you exercise regularly. You also seem to be conscious of the fact that part of good health is taking care of our stress.

Since my belief is that the way you eat and live your life is the key to the avoidance of chronic and terminal illness (cancer, heart disease), I was very surprised to read that you had cancer.

So, I need to ask if how you live your life is new, or if you have lived this way for a long time? I am especially curious how long you have eaten vegan/more of a plant based diet, as I believe that is the key to all of this. I believe that what we put into our bodies (especially what we eat), is what triggers or alternatively keeps from triggering, any predisposition a person has towards getting a chronic/terminal illness.

Thanks for your response in advance! ha!

Congratulations EGF!! That is a major milestone. Thank you for sharing your story with us also! The 9th of Dec. marked my 5 year mark of being cancer free. I just had a CEA level done, and waiting to hear those results BUT I am optimistic it is all good!!

Take care. Share more of your journey as you are comfortable with....big hugs my friend...YAY!! I am really glad you are here with us!!!

Hey Dapper,
Your memory is mostly correct- well done! I've worked for years as a holistic health counselor/nutrition educator. I went vegetarian at the age 12 (I'm 42 years old now) and have spent a lot of my life as vegan. However, as a recovered anorexic I live a life where I eat what I want when I want it and sometimes that means I eat chicken, turkey or fish. I don't really like sweets/sugary things so that cancer feeding food has never really had a frequent place in my diet.

I was diagnosed in May 2015, surgery June 2015, then 4 months chemo and 6 weeks radiation. My initial diagnosis was stage I so I thought surgery was going to be it but it turned out stage II so I went further with treatment. I also did an alternative chemo on weeks when I didn't have traditional chemo- with my naturopath. We did Vitamin C chemotherapy and acupuncture treatments throughout my "other" cancer treatments. Since my cancer was 95% estrogen positive (fed by estrogen) I take a drug that works to essentially prevent any other cancer cells that could develop in my body from absorbing estrogen. I'll be on that for another 9 years.

(I also want to say that my diagnosis stemmed from self exam at home, 6 months after I had a "clean and clear" mammo and ultrasound. So all of you here with breasts, please check them monthly! If I wasn't checking mine this could have been much worse)

I have most always kept a very clean healthy life. Eating well, exercising, keeping to a healthy weight for my body (Since I was about 20), not using toxic body products or chemicals in my house (not obsessively but living a mostly natural life) I followed all of the protocol for "preventing breast cancer" due to extensive family history of it.

So, it was a very traumatic feeling, betrayal, to after all of that, be diagnosed with cancer. Even though I knew my genetics would make me at a higher risk than most, I thought I was doing everything I should do to prevent it.

I went to a naturopathic oncologist for answers. She took about a gallon of my blood to check for reasons, nutritional deficiencies, inflammation markers, etc. When the results came in, she told me that I had the best biological terrain she had ever seen and didn't have any answers for me, other than genetics, on why I had developed cancer, especially at such a young age.

In my own searching for "why" I had to set my mind on some emotions that were stuck in me and I feel in my gut that was what allowed my cancer to grow. A dear friend of mine had died unexpectedly a year and a half before and I did not process my grief well. I stayed on my knees for a long time after that and am still processing it. I also had some unhealthy relationships (friends, family, etc) that I was accepting in my life and they kept me bottling up some hurt feelings and anger that I wasn't letting go of or dealing with. So that's the area I've changed the most I think. I'm sharper with checking in with my emotions. I've cut off toxic people who were in my life and keep a sharper check on fresh relationships that I develop and I keep stronger boundaries up with people who I think could threaten my emotional well being.

Thanks so much for your extensive response!

Although prior to cancer I didn't eat well, I was always at a healthy weight and pretty active. Hearing what you said about emotionally where you were makes sense to me. I have been fighting gender dysphoria my entire life. Part of me didn't even realize it was that and just placed it into other boxes (being stone, just having issues having "breasts", my social dysphoria was actually just social anxiety, my anger was because of ?, etc).

I am quite different since I got on testosterone and transitioned. I don't want to take the time to ramble on about it...which I could...but just suffice it to say that my emotional health and relationships is much improved since I got on testosterone, and got through the initial humps. I believe that if I had transitioned earlier, I may not have gotten the cancer. I believe that stress is such a huge factor.

I do want to clarify what you said...you mentioned vegan, vegetarian, and then said you will eat meat.
What did you eat for the 5 years prior to your cancer?
Does the fact that your cancer was estrogen based mean that your biological terrain didn't matter?
Do you mind sharing with me/us what you take for inflammation in the body (since that is the key to all)? Since you have this kick ass biological terrain, I don't want to miss any and I need to get back on supplements.
Thanks!

Dapper, I totally hear you. I'm so glad to hear that your emotional health and relationships are so improved since transitioning. It all makes sense. Would you still have had cancer if you had transitioned earlier? You'll never know. But I think we really need to listen to our gut when it tells us to pay attention to those matters. Regardless, holding onto stress and negativity will never be good for our overall health, cancer or not. So, we grow and learn.

The five years prior to diagnosis,I was probably 50% vegan/vegetarian and 50% having a diet that included fish, chicken, turkey. When vegetarian I would eat eggs but mostly stayed away from dairy. Vegan/vegetarian or not, food through the 5 years was consistent at about 90-95% whole foods/natural/cooked at home. I trend to eating more plant based in the spring and summer and crave more animal protein/fats in the fall winter and that's where my diet tends to swing.

I don't believe that the estrogen base and biological terrain related to each other in a way that my baseline health was irrelevant. It's just a type of breast cancer- hormone based or not. My grandmother and mother both had the same hormone based breast cancer. For some reason, it was able to grow despite my starting place of health. However, I can't help but think that it would have been a lot worse if my starting point had been worse.

I don't really take anything for the inflammation. Rather than that I make choices that reduce or don't cause inflammation. Such as, dairy, sugar, wheat, red meat- all cause inflammation in your body. So I don't eat them, or eat them in very minimal doses. I drink lots of water and exercise regularly and that keeps my body circulating and prevents some buildup of inflammation. If I feel inflammation, which I will if I eat some of those items or if I'm stagnant for a bit, I'll detox and go on a really clean plant based diet for a few days, guzzle lemon water, and snap out of it.

When I was in chemo and my body was going to be more prone to inflammation I took high level doses of turmeric, which reduces inflammation, and mega doses of three different prescription level probiotics and the probiotics can also reduce inflammation. Which, actually, I do still take probiotics, just not the mega mega dose, so I guess I'm still taking one inflammation fighting supplement.

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself and being mindful of your choices, Dapper. Life after cancer can be a big mind f*ck when you sit back and contemplate choices and decisions with an ultimate goal of never going through it again.

Articles like these are way too few and far between, but I'm glad they are popping up:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/a-matter...econstruction/

http://nypost.com/2017/03/13/why-i-s...breast-cancer/

I am so sorry you went through this scare, I am so glad you have an answer to the mystery and I am so very very glad it's not what you were worrying it was. Still a challenge to tackle, but not the same dragon to slay. Those "what if's" are such a different world after a cancer diagnosis. You got this!

I'm thinking of you today, Deb. (f)

Does anyone ever speak with Lady Pamela?

Today we found out my mom has cancer again. In September we went for her 3 month check-up and her blood work showed that her CA125 was high. They told her to wait 30 days to test again. We did that Tuesday and on Wednesday they called to say the numbers were higher than in September and that she should have a CT scan of her chest, abdomen and pelvis. That appointment was today and they said the results would be available in 24 hours. I was thinking Monday afternoon or Tuesday we'd hear something. However, they called right after we got home to say the cancer is back. Tuesday we have an appointment with her oncologist.

Understandably my mom is upset. She's resting on the couch and she asked me to call all my siblings because she doesn't want to talk about it.

These last 30 days have been hell. She's been so stressed and of course that overflows on to me and the grandkids because she's so tense.

I don't know what to expect now. She had already said she doesn't think she can do it again. She fought last time and I know she'll fight again...she just seems defeated right now. Our family doesn't show or share our feelings or emotions so it's hard to know what to say.

I moved home from Atlanta to help her when we found out she had cancer the first time. I haven't had a job since. I was just starting to look again because she had been doing so well. When we found out in September about the blood test my older sister said I should hold off looking until we know. Even though I've been helping my mom I still feel like a loser for not working and I worry the longer I go the harder it will be. My other siblings don't help so I feel sort of lost right now.

I say we throughout this post because even though my relationship with my mom has been horrible at times I feel like we are a team when it comes to fighting this cancer.

I wish I could make it all better for her.

Thanks so much Clay. We appreciate all your positive energies and wishes.

Hello Wrangler,

I came here reading through yesterday and began to write a reply to your post but some how couldn't find the right words. However I woke this morning with a few people on my mind, a loved one who has had the worst news, loved ones passed and still fighting, my own uncertain future and you and your Mom too went through my thoughts so I am here again.

It made me realise that even though people have never met/interacted before, this in no way means that we can not feel real empathy and concern when we read of cancer rearing its ugly head again. When I tried to write the first time I was worried my words felt flat and didnt convey my empathy enough so I want to say I am sorry your Mom has to go through this fight again, that I dont think the word loser suits your situation, Hero is the word, it is no easy decision to give up a wage and working life to be with someone 24/7 to support and care for them, many would run a mile, it sounds like you are alone in this job, I commend you for it, I`m sure closing the door and setting off to work some days must be a far easier option. I too had a difficult to say the least relationship with my Mother so again I commend you.

I shall keep you and your Mom in my thoughts, along with the other folk I think of often, sending positive thoughts and wishing gentle days to all who are touched by this fight.

Thank you everyone !! I am doing good. Saw the doctor today. My hair is growing back from 17 hits of radiation. Still cant drive or go back home by myself yet. Maybe another 2 months. Kinda getting my appetite back. I look different. creepy to me.

Hi everyone !
 

I am doing better now and not feeling to bad. I left moms house Saturday. She just wouldn't let up on me. After 3 days of pressure in my head I thought I probly should go back to my house where my 3 little girls are. My head is better and getting a few things done around here. I get another MRI on April 16 of my head. If my pictures show nothing then I will probly get back to work a few weeks later. I do love my Mom and we are on good terms. Just kinda stressful on me at this time. My heart and prayers go out to everyone and their families that are fighting this unforgiving disease. Fight the fight ! We got this !

Good to hear you are doing well and making plans. Cancer does have a habit of making us spend a little longer than is comfortable with family and friends doesnt it. More than once I`ve thought to myself "I`m really touched you were so worried I could die, really grateful for you support and advice but honestly...I`ve kinda had enough of you now !" :| Laughter is the best medicine !

Today is my mom's graduation day. Meaning she is currently having her last chemotherapy session in the series. Then she will have to have a CT scan to see if the cancer is gone.

Yesterday, we went to see her urologist because she has been having pain that radiates around her abdomen to her back on the left and right side. More painful on the left than the right. She is also experiencing pain in her lower abdomen. He said from her last CT scan in October when they found the cancer again that her kidneys looked good, the flow looked good and her kidney function was good. She will have a renal scan to double check. It's hard to say what the cause of this pain is.

I am happy for my mother. This will be the second time she beat cancer (hopefully) and I hope she doesn't have to face it again. We will have to deal with the other health issues that have arisen from the cancer and chemo. Chemo is a bitch.

I feel bad about this but it's hard living with my mother. She is not a nice person. She wasn't before her cancer and she isn't now. She's mean and says mean things. A few weeks ago she said some mean things to me and I got upset. I didn't say anything but I did try to spend time away from her. Then she was sick from her chemo and a UTI and I felt bad. It is such a conflict for me at times. I feel sorry for her and then feel bad that I don't always like her.

I do admire and respect her for the strength and determination she has shown through both battles with cancer. She is a trooper for sure. I don't believe I could have handled it as well as she has. I do love my mother and I want her to be well. I just don't always like her much and that makes me feel sad and conflicted.

Excuse my ramblings. It's a happy day. There's just a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head and I don't know where else to put them.

She couldn't get chemo because her white blood cell count was too low. :(

I am home now with my cats. It feels good. I get my MRI on the 16th to check things out in my head. I feel ok and getting a few things cleaned up around here. I left Moms on my own. She just wouldn't let up. I couldnt even put the blanket on the bed right. Had enough. When I was there she took very good care of me and I was very comfortable. I believe I over stayed my welcome. She also had a very hard time seeing me with that stuff and not being well. I do love my Mom very much. Its just been hard on all of us. I could eat as much as 3 horses and now I am eating barely enough to keep a mouse alive. Getting better with my appetite. 17 hits of radiation doesn't help either. Seeing the Dr. on the 20th to look at the MRI pictures. As long as things look good I am going to ask for 2 more weeks off then back to work. If things don't work out at work I will be able to retire comfortably. I want to work another year to teach that cancer that it didn't win. I did !

My heart goes out to us all. We will fight the fight and win !
Thank you for reading and caring the way you all do.

Sheila

Hi Wrangler,

That`s tough your Mom wasn't able to complete her chemo just yet, I`m sure you are both waiting for the treatment to be done with, yes, chemo is indeed a bitch.

As I read your post it I was reminded just how that conflict of emotions feels, having a Mom who rewards, care, concern and devotion with cruel words and thinks they are entitled to say anything they wish regardless of the hurt inflicted, I have been there so often. When you have had a similar relationship with a parent you understand just how that feels.

It sounds like she is very blessed to have you around, in her life and caring for her. Remember you are entitled to feel hurt and want some breathing space from her when she behaves this way, I`m telling you that as I wish I had told myself that more often years ago !

So here`s hoping she can get the last round of chemo soon, the scan results bring what is hoped for and that her pain eases too.

Stay strong and know you and your Mom are sent positive thoughts for brighter days.

Daisy

My spouse’s oldest daughter who lives in Indiana had told us she has liver cancer. We were waiting for all her tests to come back. Today she called and said it’s stage 4 and they are giving her maybe a year. My spouse is heartbroken and is not taking this well at all. Her daughter and her husband are flying out here a week after Easter to see us all one last time. I feel so helpless.

I am so sorry to hear this, the worst news.

Thoughts are with all of you, life can be so cruel.