:goodpost:

addendum, to complete this post
 

it occurred to me, that there is a second part to the above, as follows:
when one feels related to another (as above), there is no way one could or would harm/hurt the other, as it would be like harming/hurting oneself
:byebye:

I hope this isn’t derailing the thread, but regarding the topic of baggage, I’ve done a lot of reflecting lately about how we learn from relationships. Essentially, how to contextualize difficult (and sometimes painful) lessons we’ve learned from exes or even friends and family. So, instead of viewing one’s “baggage” as “I have trust issues because someone hurt me,” one could view it in a positive light by spinning it as “Oh, I learned that not everyone deserves my immediate trust. I should wait to get to know someone and then make an informed decision about whether or not to trust them, to what degree, and with which specific things.”

I really do believe the relationships we have and the people we meet all serve to teach us something. Even if it’s what we don’t want.

Anyway, this mentality has been really helpful for me. I hope it proves equally beneficial for y’all.

xoxo

Hi AF.

I totally love the reframe. i used to say i needed to put my *must have* list out to the universe to attract the right partner for me when it was time. Well i did that, and they showed up! They had all the things on my list.

They also had addictions, anger issues, major debt, insecurities etc... i learned the hard way that that sort of *baggage* can outweigh all the good stuff...

So now i have a *must have* and *must not have* list..... and it worked! :awww:

Many things....
 

Listen more and talk less. I think that listening is a skill that needs to be really sharpened. If we listened more we would are less and have less misunderstandings.

:goodpost:

laugh, a LOT.................:bow: :2butch:

i was talking to a friend today ..he said he needed a playmate.....i've been thinking about this and i realized sex has become so much more then a game, a fun romp ..exercise...it's not enough anymore ..eventually or maybe from the very beginning it was always meant for something much more meaningful...it's never too late to learn.... you are sharing some of the most profound truths the universe can give you..it will illuminate your deepest desires for connection, and grace...there is more to life then mere notes..it's a symphony of music..you share lying next to him..unique and perfect only the two of you will ever understand.....

What to do
 

Be authentic and true to yourself and what you bring and can give in a relationship.

If you're a butch write your gal little love notes or poems and tuck them somewhere she is sure to fine them............


sidebar: I suppose this is the modern equivalent of sending a text?? I'm old school give me a pen and paper over some electronics gizmo any day!

I like the sidebar better :) the text can get deleted or sent to cyber space ~ but a sweet note or a sexy note you can treasure :)

Amen to "old school" ... hand written is best. :)

Wow, y'all are really out here romancing women all over the place with handwritten notes! That's amazing.

I think the last handwritten note I got was from my mom - in my lunch box back in grade school! :P

Those little love notes sound cute.:bow::rrose:

Frequently discover/learn about new things together.

make absolutely certain you've go the other partner(s)' back, and trust them to have yours.:cigar2: