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what i am always thinking of...you...us...all of us together.....
the little things i have to do... the big things i have to do so i can see you..... unconditional love..... holding your hand just as im now holding hers... weekends with movies and cuddles with the kids in bed.... reading time together...... i now need a new book... what to make for dinner.....and how your day has been/appt has gone.... how long it will take our little one to make a list from the flyers .... *smiles* ...how ...over this last yr...for the first time in a really really long time...ive felt alive....sure....loved....accepted....embraced.... ..ready... |
Today I was reminded that some people really aren't capable of being decent human beings. They can pretend politeness if they're trying to get something from you, and that's the extent of their capacity for decency. As soon as they get what they want they revert back to their pattern of belittling your intelligence and general f#ckwaddery. Thank you Universe for that reminder. :)
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valentines day.....and how special it is this year....not that every other day isnt just as wonderful....but its def a first...
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My mind on my money and my money on my mind ...
Counting down the days to potential unemployment made me nauseous today. 5 months. 10 pay days. Just 10 pay days left to try to pay off all of my debt and figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life.... My mind started to spin a little mantra that went something like this: ohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakoh frakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfr akohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrak ohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakoh frakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfr akohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrak ohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakoh frakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfr akohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrak ohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakoh frakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrakohfr akohfrakohfrakohfrakohfrak................
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are you just with me to be with a woman?? is it just sex? or do you really want to be with ME??
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there is a reason for everything and I just need to let go. Stop looking for it and just accept it :)
like the quote says it is what it is |
The custom car show comes to town tonite. I love those muscle cars of yester-year. I enjoy this more than the auto show.
Want to talk about being *out of place?* oh well. |
Breathe ....relax.... breathe ....relax.... chant to self " you will make it through today
...you will make it through today...".... damn I hate yearly employment evals.... breathe .... relax.... breathe ... before passing out from turning blue ... On another note... it's a beautiful sunny day and I can't wait to blow outa this place! |
selling photos.... gonna get busy with it again.
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Why is it that when you do FINALLY find a job, you get a bunch of other places trying to give you a job, which you already now have? WTH!!!!
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Sagittarius: You might get so excited about breaking out of your normal routine today that you completely forget about fulfilling a previous promise. Take time to quiet your mind so you can hear the meaningful message that's coming from your subconscious. Don't be so cavalier that you disregard the symbolism of a dream or fantasy. Everything that enters your awareness now contains clues about your life's purpose. In the realm of love, dreams aren't just romantic flights of fancy, they can hold important clues today. Pay attention to the messages you get from your hidden realm now.
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What is on my mind is meditation, so there isn't so much on my mind lol
La de da!! |
A situation that happened to me yesterday. As a single mother of two over the years, i fell into a rut. i didn't work, i was on the system, & life was difficult back then. Finding my way OUT of that rut, was even harder. But i DID it! Today, i work full-time, and am pulling my life together more & more each day. i feel blessed, & life is good.. i still don't have much, but i love & appreciate the things i have as though they're the most precious treasures in this world.. i'm always grateful, everyday! Yesterday, i got upset - SO upset.. As an honest woman who's made so many changes to her life, to pull herself up (without ANY encouragement or help from the system) - i want to pay it forward and help women in poverty, but also i need to pursue what made me angry, because it simply isn't fair. They really pick on the wrong people, just sayin'.. i was simply a single mother of two, who was trying to feed her children each month and maintain a warm place to live.. We didn't have a lot, and i didn't ask for much.. And i did everything fair & honest .. This was a mistake of a case worker, but regardless of who's fault it was, it's me who pays.. & dearly at that. i'm really disappointed & doing what they want of me - but i am working on a way to make this change... Something needs to change for someone one day in the future ! |
bedtime...and hearing your voice
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Quote:
Since everyone was thinking I am crazy , lump it's gone . I have been slacking on my estrogen and started back on . I have a fibrocystic breast anyway , so it was just flare from lack of not taking my medication . I am happy I didn't riled up my family and friends . I am sick of my own drama rama things . It seems to me one thing ends and something else it's coming through my door . |
Quote:
My *lump* dissolved during the biopsy, but up until that point it scared me greatly :( |
....lots of little things....vday...budgets....errands to run....what to do first.....you....us...family...laughter....holding you tight....coffee.....cleaning.....spending time with our little one.....all of the little things we wanna do.....all of the things we WILL do *smiles* ....your scent.....the kids funny faces....big changes....dr. appts ....our date night...
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those 3 words...
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How much i love old typewriters
I saw one somehwhat old today and i remembered an old Royal that I got to play with for a while, coolest piece of machinery ever. |
It be really nice to find a down to earth Femme. Someone who's sweet, kind and just an all around nice person. :)
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