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My mom telling me that my father is buying a laptop for himself that he doesn't need (he already has his own computer) and therefore the new bed we need (due to the one my mom sleeps on falling apart) will not be bought now because of this new purchase ........... unreal, when its something for him money is no object (especially since its something he doesn't need right now) and yet again when its something we actually need (and its for my mom no less) he can't be bothered to buy it.
I *NEED* to get a job, because he obviously can't properly provide for his own family ~ its disgusting and I don't know why I got stuck with him as a father :| |
All the little nit picky things that need to get done before tomorrow morning... Good thing I've been making a list. Ummmm now where is the list?? :|
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red with sparkles
pink and navy blue lists the mess vacuum cleaner bags how it is so beautiful I was not expecting that. the spunk to rock this day... |
home:
that always welcoming and comfortable place to be. where we feel safe and secure. where we are free to be and explore. the place we bring our vulnerability and watch it be transformed by love. |
What part of protection involves trust? This is what I want to know.
I get it...I don't follow the normal pattern, I am me. I don't tell people where I am going or check in or know self defense or have a hard street wise edge. I don't yank hearts around. How about I be seen for what I have survived. That I've managed to stay a pretty freaking joyful being and let that inspire trust that I can HANDLE it! That I choose the protection offered not because I am weak but because I am strong and I trust the protection to be there. And that is more than I ever believed possible. |
what am I going to plant in my gardens this year...
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Hoping that my mother don't ruin my birthday this year like she did last year by saying all kinds of nasty things like she did. I mean you are in my home. Show some respect or move out now. Sorry, this is my life.
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What's on my mind...
putting my hands in the dirt and repotting some of my hanging flower baskets with bright pinks, purples & reds :) YAY for early spring in Texas! |
A cup of joe or
the whole pot and could it hold the true meaning to life.....
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Sagittarius: Wednesday, Mar 7, 2012 -- Narrowing your scope of operations today enables you to make the most of your limited energy. Thankfully, your willpower is strong now; whatever you believe can actually come true if you're willing to remain vigilant throughout the day. Your first inclination is to say yes when someone asks for a favor, but take a few deep breaths before responding. Think about the consequences of assuming more obligations prior to fulfilling your previous commitments.
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My homework!
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What is on my mind...
Hearing her sleep after ear whispers until it was interupted... and that odd dream about rearranging furniture in a living room, which wasn't a familiar space to begin with. It was a slow and methodical process of furniture placement. Hmmmmmm........... |
Just sitting her thinking about people and wondering how some can be so cruel to something so innocent and loving. We brought our new rescue home today...and she is the sweetest little girl..but SO afraid. We think she was probably abused by her former owner, because there is no earthly reason that a 7 month old puppy should be this afraid and withdrawn. Even in her fear...she shows no sign of aggression...she just looks at us with these sad eyes. Someone she trusted, who was supposed to love her, broke her little heart. I can't wait to show her that that not all people are the same...and that she has nothing to fear from us. That we will never hurt her, or throw her away just because we got bored or tired of caring for her. That we just want to love her enough to heal that broken heart so she can be the happy dog she is supposed to be.
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the moon tonight
I am just remembering how nice the full moon looked tonight as I was driving to meet friends for dinner. It wasn't quite dark yet but the moon was up high and Mount Lassen for a backdrop.
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Thinking about my Beloved and that huge, compassionate heart of hys. How much i miss hym and trying not to think about not being able to be together this weekend but looking forward to next weekend...
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There is a lot going on in my head but most recently a message on facebook received this morning from a "friend" who likes to play games, the one I have mentioned previously in other threads, the one that throws temper tantrums when you don't drop what you are doing when they "summon" you..
So after unfriending a few of us because we couldn't come to her little party that ended up never happening anyway in the beginning of January she has come crawling back, but the one thing and most important thing that is missing from her little "poor is me" message is an apology.. Mind you, this is the fourth time she has played this little game of "If you don't do what i tell you to do im not your friend anymore" I don't really intend on being friends with this person again, but the problem is, someone else is considering it.. I guess my question is, how many times do you let a person play these mind games, throw these little hissy fits before you say enough is enough? Not to mention the fact this is a person who likes to push buttons just to prove she matters and to cause issues between people. I knew sooner or later she would come crawling back again, i guess i just thought that by now i wouldn't be the only one who notices how lighter, and more peaceful things are when she isn't around with her negativity.. Blah.. just venting out loud.. anyway yup.. thats what is on my mind. |
How to extricate myself from a toxic person without causing myself stress or problems. :|
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how difficult i find it to find certain threads on this site
What am i doing wrong????? |
how incredibly long this day is and how much there is to do tonight. and i don't want to go home.
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