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Gentle Tiger 09-01-2011 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat_Fl (Post 409859)
Ok so it's 4:40am and I'm still not asleep. I truly dislike when I have one of these nights. I'm sure tomorrow I will be tired. Ok ........ so now what?

Well, it's 2 o'clock where I am. I too am wide awake. What is up with that?!

Tawse 09-01-2011 06:11 AM

You know - sometimes you are concentrating so hard on not farting at a inappropriate time - that it makes it nigh near impossible to actually follow the conversation at hand.

NJFemmie 09-01-2011 06:21 AM

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!

tapu 09-01-2011 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeep (Post 409858)
I have decided to start every conversation today with "I live in a van down by the river."


Cool! Thanks for the idea. I love this stuff....

I'm deciding between "I wear socks" and "I know you are, but what am I?"

asphaltcowboi 09-01-2011 07:03 AM


Why I Am now Divorced.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't
feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
he barely said good morning,
let alone a Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came pounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office,
my handsome Boss Rick, said,
'Good morning, lady,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Rick knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Rick,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
He chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Rick said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do we?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
he said,
'Let's drop by my place,
it's just around the corner.'
After arriving at his house,
Rick turned to me and said,
If you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
he came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my husband
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.






















Abigail Crabby 09-01-2011 07:04 AM


Abigail Crabby 09-01-2011 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger (Post 409861)
Well, it's 2 o'clock where I am. I too am wide awake. What is up with that?!

Well it's 9:07 am and I'm wide awake - I hope y'all get to take a nap today lol

Dominique 09-01-2011 07:24 AM

No where in the weather report for today did they say rain....

I made it to work (on the bicycle) ok...but wasn't here five minutes and it started to rain.

It has all day to rain. Just so it quits by the time I'm ready to leave.

Well, now that I've typed that all out, so what if it's raining when I leave. I'm only going home, and it's just water.

Abigail Crabby 09-01-2011 07:35 AM

Someone please give me a rational reason why I shouldn't just go back to bed and call out gay today?

tapu 09-01-2011 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abigail Crabby (Post 409930)
Someone please give me a rational reason why I shouldn't just go back to bed and call out gay today?



Call and tell them you need a mental health day. Then say, "Ha! Mental health day, I wish! Who am I fooling? I need a mental illness day." They won't say another word. I've found I can use this repeatedly with all the same people and it remains sacrosanct. Though they might look at you funny the next day.

funkyfemme 09-01-2011 10:16 AM

"I got a fever and the only thing that's gonna bring it down, is more cowbell."

Bella~Vita 09-01-2011 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gentle Tiger (Post 409861)
Well, it's 2 o'clock where I am. I too am wide awake. What is up with that?!

And here I thought it was just me GT. We have active brains that won't shut off ..geesh ....

Dominique 09-01-2011 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat_Fl (Post 409992)
And here I thought it was just me GT. We have active brains that won't shut off ..geesh ....

I call that ~the skipping record~ just saying

Diva 09-01-2011 08:58 PM

I love having paint all over my hands.....




Ms. Meander 09-02-2011 06:17 AM

The second harvest of raspberries has begun! It feels like the bounty here is never-ending. But it will end, I am aware in the chill of a September morning. It makes this decadence bitter-sweet.

Dominique 09-02-2011 06:26 AM

all of the discussions around here about women
 
I thought this was perfect!...let's laugh

Turtle 09-02-2011 06:29 AM

http://www.neaq.org/education_and_ac...315-784311.jpg

Hollylane 09-02-2011 07:14 AM

Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?................................


~Alanis Morrisette

Abigail Crabby 09-02-2011 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tapu (Post 409972)
Call and tell them you need a mental health day. Then say, "Ha! Mental health day, I wish! Who am I fooling? I need a mental illness day." They won't say another word. I've found I can use this repeatedly with all the same people and it remains sacrosanct. Though they might look at you funny the next day.

OMG that is funny !!!!!

Abigail Crabby 09-02-2011 08:50 AM

I'm having a chocolate Cupcake today......


CALORIES BE DAMNED!!!!!!


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