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-   -   Male ID butch vs. FTM?? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1736)

RavynTuqiri 08-14-2010 03:08 PM

Hmmm...how can one expect the world outside of the GLBT community to
accept our individuality when we ourselves can not embrace our own?

I may walk with a friend down the same path and share the same experiences but I do not expect that friend to come away with the same views, thoughts, feelings...memories. How can I...we do not share the same eyes nor the same heart.

I value the differing opinions on the subject because I want to know...does not mean we should be passing judgment on an opinion for being different. There is no right and wrong here...

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:10 PM

[QUOTE=Deviant;174786]The HBSOC isn't a law, it's a guideline. I don't believe Michael was stating his opinion as if it were law. I know that he just believes very much in those guidelines and their effectiveness. As is his right. You're certainly entitled to feel any way you choose about the HBSOC, however, calling my husband judgmental is making it personal. IMHO

Some gates needed to be tended. IMHO



I still am unclear as to whether you are transitioning or not, which doesn't really matter. I do however associate the term BUTCH with woman/female. (pertaining to this topic). I know that many have different views/opinions and that is their right. I am respectful when I am around butches who want to be called male pronouns. I would not knowingly disrespect someone by intentionally calling them by a pronoun different than what they've chosen for themselves. Whether or not they use them in the real world or not.

I guess I have a hard time understanding why someone who is taking T and considers themselves male and prefers male pronouns would still want to hold on to the label of 'butch' since labels supposedly are stupid and mean nothing, then why not drop it? Not at all trying to be snarky here, genuinely would love someone to answer that for me.



It isn't your place to decide for others, you don't have the authority. Opinion only goes so far. You can ask but Ender doesn't owe you an answer, your opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things in his world, or for that matter mine.

Stacy 08-14-2010 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 174787)
You know until you voiced your opinion (read disapproval) folks were getting along nicely. Not that everyone agreed, they didn't. You are taking all of this a wee bit personal and I have to ask myself why. Is there something you need from this discussion, other than all of us bow to the "man". You don't get to be the great decider, Bush beat you to the title. Folks are going to agree or not based on facts, you haven't brought any to the table, other than a "standard" that isn't. People will be themselves, whether you like it or not. I see you are fairly new to "this" site, lots of folks have gone over the gender discussion on other threads, and sites, you are late to the table.

I believe Michael joined before you. He is certainly not new to this site, or this community, or this subject. Michael was giving his opinion like everyone else when he stated that he believes the HBSOC should be upheld. You are the one that made it personal by calling him judgmental. As far as the quotations around man, nice touch. My husband does not think he's better than anyone just because he has transitioned and is legally male. He is more than happy to answer questions and help others in the process. He didn't say he should decide who takes T and transitions and who doesn't. He just knows how that the process worked well with him and many of his friends and that it does have value. As is his right. So you don't believe in the HBSOC, we get that. Why make it personal and call him judgmental and bring Bush into it. Haven't we all had enough of him?

imperfect_cupcake 08-14-2010 03:15 PM

Quote:

I guess I have a hard time understanding why someone who is taking T and considers themselves male and prefers male pronouns would still want to hold on to the label of 'butch' since labels supposedly are stupid and mean nothing, then why not drop it? Not at all trying to be snarky here, genuinely would love someone to answer that for me.
good question. No one I know in London who uses soley he, uses T and considers themselves soley male (sex, not gender) considers themselves butch.

It only seems to be the people I know who use T and consider themselves a mix of male and female (sex) and entirely their own category (gender) still use that word as messy inaccurate short hand but they aren't married to the ID. Many use Boi.

I'm guessing that's different here....

I personally don't have anything invested (read: policing the term butch. It's not my job and I don't care) in keeping it a female (sex, not gender) only term. it's just I don't know of any people who consider themselves exclusively male (sex, not gender) and still call themselves butch. But I assume I'm about to be educated.

Sorry, for those who do. I'm not expecting you to educate me. it's just pure naive ignorance on my part. Willing and happy to be corrected.

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:15 PM

So here is my .02 on the whole damn issue and if it pisses people off so be it... I believe 100% in the Harry Benjamin SOC, and it pisses me off that so many therapists/physicians are getting away from it. I don't think that anyone not planning on transitioning should be allowed hormones. Period. [/COLOR][/B]


Really, I think you two need to look over each others posts and answer this.

Gatekeeping is so passe'

Stacy 08-14-2010 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 174790)

It isn't your place to decide for others, you don't have the authority. Opinion only goes so far. You can ask but Ender doesn't owe you an answer, your opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things in his world, or for that matter mine.

I did not ask Ender to explain himself to me. I said whether or not I know doesn't really matter. I am not saying I'm an authority on this subject either. I believe I already said I'm not claiming to be Harry Benjamin himself. Obviously my opinion doesn't matter to you, but it may matter to someone who is of the same thoughts/opinions. While my opinion may be different than yours, I still have the right to voice it. Tell me once where I said I thought I had a right to decide for others??

Rufusboi 08-14-2010 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 174787)
You know until you voiced your opinion (read disapproval) folks were getting along nicely. Not that everyone agreed, they didn't. You are taking all of this a wee bit personal and I have to ask myself why. Is there something you need from this discussion, other than all of us bow to the "man". You don't get to be the great decider, Bush beat you to the title. Folks are going to agree or not based on facts, you haven't brought any to the table, other than a "standard" that isn't. People will be themselves, whether you like it or not. I see you are fairly new to "this" site, lots of folks have gone over the gender discussion on other threads, and sites, you are late to the table.


Corkey - self made man joined this site a month before you did. When someone joins has no bearing. Many of us have been over this same topic many times but, speaking for myself, it helps me learn. I still need to go over it many more times and have no answers or easy answers to any of the gender issues or questions that come up. My ID has changed over the years too just like it has for many people on this site. Its a long journey for all of us and the questions never end and the answers and points of view are all different depending not just on who you talk to but when you talk to them. I still have questions and confusions about all these topics and I've been at this table for many years.

Rufus

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 174793)
good question. No one I know in London who uses soley he, uses T and considers themselves soley male (sex, not gender) considers themselves butch.

It only seems to be the people I know who use T and consider themselves a mix of male and female (sex) and entirely their own category (gender) still use that word as short hand.

I'm guessing that's different here....

I personally don't have anything invested (read: policing the term butch. It's not my job and I don't care) in keeping it a female (sex, not gender) only term. it's just I don't know of any people who consider themselves exclusively male (sex, not gender) and still call themselves butch. But I assume I'm about to be educated.

Sorry, for those who do. I'm not expecting you to educate me. it's just pure naive ignorance on my part. Willing and happy to be corrected.

Here it is. Male ID'd Butch....for ME. Not transitioning, male, butch. Butch is male as much as it is female. I am not female I am male. I will retain Butch. I am Transgendered.
I have to ask if anyone has bothered to read any other the Brothers here who are Male ID'd Butches, or if they come to the table with preconceived notions of how others should be? Not necessarily you HB.

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:23 PM

Some gates needed to be tended. IMHO

In answer to Deviant.....your words.

Stacy 08-14-2010 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara (Post 174793)
I personally don't have anything invested (read: policing the term butch. It's not my job and I don't care) in keeping it a female (sex, not gender) only term. it's just I don't know of any people who consider themselves exclusively male (sex, not gender) and still call themselves butch. But I assume I'm about to be educated.

I was just saying in mind, in this community, when I hear/see the term butch, that I, personally, associated that term with a woman. It also has very good feelings for me when I hear it, because I happen to find butch women pretty damn sexy. Just sayin' ;)

I know that this isn't the case for everyone though. I also know that people can use butch to describe whatever they want it to encompass. Urban dictionary is full of new definitions of old words.

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:29 PM

I really have a hard time when femmes and lesbian ID'd butches come into a Male ID'd/FTM thread and spout off too, but here you are. Now I would have been run off if I came into a femme or lesbian ID'd butch thread and said the following..."I find male ID'd Butches sexy as hell and they are men in my opinion." Hypocrisy at it's finest.

Thinker 08-14-2010 03:29 PM

Moderating

Hold up, please...

Some of the exchanges here are getting entirely too personal, hurtful, and disrespectful.

At this time, I suggest taking a 24-hour posting break if you know you are typing in an angry state. And we all know when we are doing that...

One of the expectations here is that we remain considerate and respectful of all members. That does not mean we all see eye-to-eye or that we even come close to agreeing, but it does mean that we disagree as respectfully as possible. And sometimes it means just agreeing to disagree.

Again, if you feel pretty pissed right now, please take a break from the website.

Thinker (moderating)

Stacy 08-14-2010 03:30 PM

Deleted post as I did it before moderation. Sorry

RavynTuqiri 08-14-2010 03:30 PM

So then....what do you all think of a third gender? If a third gender
exists, then the rules of each specific gender do not inherently apply
nor do the rules of switching from one gender to the other.

Corkey 08-14-2010 03:34 PM

Far from pissed but thank you Thinker.

imperfect_cupcake 08-14-2010 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corkey (Post 174798)
Here it is. Male ID'd Butch....for ME. Not transitioning, male, butch. Butch is male as much as it is female. I am not female I am male. I will retain Butch. I am Transgendered.
I have to ask if anyone has bothered to read any other the Brothers here who are Male ID'd Butches, or if they come to the table with preconceived notions of how others should be? Not necessarily you HB.

oh I'm not asking for justification! Not my bed. lol.

Corkey... I know you are trying and I actually really appreciate your effort but I'm afraid I'm still slightly confused. I respect your tie to the word and your proud use of it, that I can hear in your tone. Basically, you are what used to be called TG Butch in my Old Use Dictionary. Fair enough. That use of butch I understand. So far from what I've read from others TG Butch = Male ID'd Butch. No rug ripped out from under me yet.

I'm feeling archaic and I'm not even 45...

Thanks for helping me out, I know it's not your job.

EnderD_503 08-14-2010 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deviant (Post 174786)
The HBSOC isn't a law, it's a guideline. I don't believe Michael was stating his opinion as if it were law. I know that he just believes very much in those guidelines and their effectiveness. As is his right. You're certainly entitled to feel any way you choose about the HBSOC, however, calling my husband judgmental is making it personal. IMHO

Some gates needed to be tended. IMHO

Why, exactly should that gate be tended? What is it's supposed "effectiveness."

Quote:

I still am unclear as to whether you are transitioning or not, which doesn't really matter. I do however associate the term BUTCH with woman/female. (pertaining to this topic). I know that many have different views/opinions and that is their right. I am respectful when I am around butches who want to be called male pronouns. I would not knowingly disrespect someone by intentionally calling them by a pronoun different than what they've chosen for themselves. Whether or not they use them in the real world or not.

I guess I have a hard time understanding why someone who is taking T and considers themselves male and prefers male pronouns would still want to hold on to the label of 'butch' since labels supposedly are stupid and mean nothing, then why not drop it? Not at all trying to be snarky here, genuinely would love someone to answer that for me.

Please show me where exactly I wrote that "labels supposedly are stupid and mean nothing." It's far more complicated than that. I answered the precise questions you're asking now in the post you chose not to read. I wrote some four paragraphs on why I continue to hold on to the term "stone butch" and why I don't see that term as equatable with "woman" or "female" for myself. On top of that I also expained why I have an aversion towards the words "transition," "FtM" and "transsexual." I'm not going to sit here and type out another huge post directed at you, that you problably won't even read.

But in case you're still interested: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...1&postcount=43

Quote:

Originally Posted by SelfMadeMan (Post 174781)
Note to Self: Only voice your opinion if it is the popular one. Otherwise, temper tantrums and mud slinging are sure to follow.

I can't help but laugh for personal reasons when you make the comment of "only voice your opinion if it is the popular one" since I'm generally the master of unpopular opinions it seems. It's all in how you stage your argument, and if you're argument is one that blatantly disrespects others, don't expect respect back. Can't also help but be amused at your claim about "temper tantrums" and "mudslinging".

When I stated that my problem with your perspective was that it would require that if it were followed in the real world people would not have the freedom to make decisions about their own bodies or to generally be themselves, that was not mudslinging...that was following a logical train of thought. Please explain how I was supposed to deduce otherwise when you claim that only people who, by your own definition, plan to "transition" should be given testosterone.

imperfect_cupcake 08-14-2010 03:48 PM

Quote:

I wrote some four paragraphs on why I continue to hold on to the term "stone butch" and why I don't see that term as equatable with "woman" or "female" for myself. On top of that I also expained why I have an aversion towards the words "transition," "FtM" and "transsexual."
actually you did, Ender. Apologies. I hadn't taken your answer into consideration for some unknown reason in my head, you get your very own category. lol. Aren't you special!

Soon 08-14-2010 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deviant (Post 174786)
I guess I have a hard time understanding why someone who is taking T and considers themselves male and prefers male pronouns would still want to hold on to the label of 'butch' since labels supposedly are stupid and mean nothing, then why not drop it? Not at all trying to be snarky here, genuinely would love someone to answer that for me.
[/B]



Deviant,

I'm not sure if you saw posts 19 and 20, but there are two members who explained the retention of their ID as butch after transition.

Self Made Man,

You stated that if someone doesn't intend to transition, they shouldn't be on hormones and, yet, the HBSOC allows for people who have no intention of having surgery or real life experience to be on hormones.

I was just wondering your thoughts on that considering you are pro-HBSOC and, yet, their guidelines seem to contradict your position.

Personally, I think Harry Benjamin has its place but I don't think that it should be stringently applied to all without exceptions.




imperfect_cupcake 08-14-2010 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 174822)




I'm not sure if you saw posts 19 and 20, but there are two members who explained the retention of their ID as butch after transition.



is there? that's fucking embarrassing :blush: whoops - I was asking as well. Thanks for that, I'll just slink off and read those... I should have been a bit more diligent in reading if I'm going to post...
I feel like I just trod in someone's cake and asked them where the cake was...


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