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vixenagogo 03-20-2012 11:38 AM

every breath you take.
 
i do think that some people use the *invisible* feature with questionable intent. whether it is "spy" "keep tabs on" or to "silently intimidate" i have no real idea. if someone feels the need to have their travelings stealth...well that's cool. i am not a paid member. so the only way i know that someone is "squatting" on my profile is having a paid member look at my profile and tell me who is a permanent "resident". can i do anything about it? no. just ignore it. it is kind of creepy when they show up as viewing your profile on other sites though.

people are going to be curious and look. it's just how it is. but to discount how it makes someone feel...regardless of the metaphors used to describe those feelings... is not for us to decide right or wrong.

justkim 03-20-2012 11:50 AM

Invisi or not... does it really matter? If you have the funds to afford a membership so be it. If I could afford it I would be a paying member, but I can't at this time. Does that mean I can be pissy because someone has something I want? NO!
When I post from my phone I usually end up going to someones profile since my phone is a pos... I don't know how many times I have ended up on Daywalkers page while trying to view the Zombie thread... does that mean I am checking up on someone? Not so much, it means I have usually hit something I shouldn't have and alas I end up on someones profile... I don't think about it and just leave. If it concerns someone so much about who is checking them out then by all means ask... don't assume that they came for ill intent... Please if you are going to stop by my page leave a message... It could make for some interesting reading for those that wander around the profiles trying to learn something about the other people in the community...

Novelafemme 03-20-2012 11:55 AM

I think to some of us who do have paid subscriptions and have utilized the invisible option, posts such as Miss_Tia's can read as somewhat accusatory. There are many reasons behind someone wanting to remain anonymous while perusing the forums and I have to trust that relatively few are, by nature, malicious.

When it comes to anything of a hierarchical nature it can be tremendously difficult to defuse a potential "us against them" environment.

Toughy 03-20-2012 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia (Post 550080)
I rather despise the fact that paid members can be invisible. It feels like I am not worthy of protection as an unpaid member. I know I am spied upon. There is a name that NEVER leaves my visitor list. But i also wonder who else watches me silently. It almost feels like how a set of dogs attacks..one from the rear, one in the front.

Yet I remain present. And I do not stop saying anything I want to say. If people want to keep tabs on me, so be it. I just hate that they can use that feature to do so. If I had the means to pay for a membership, i would, so i wouldn't feel shadowed. But not being able to isnt enough to keep me away from a site that otherwise, i feel comfortable in.

I go in the butt and fist threads. Hahaha. I make sure my silent watchers get their monies worth....


little paranoid darlin??

I am a paid member, but not at a level that allows me to be invisible.

Have you contacted that individual and asked why they 'NEVER leave your visitor list'? Have you reported your concerns about the individual that 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' to the site owners/moderators?

You do realize that your post makes me want to go to your profile page at least once every day and figure out who this 'NEVER leaves your visitor list' might be. Matter of fact, after I hit the reply button I will make a visit to your profile page......shaking my head....

Cin 03-20-2012 01:50 PM

Maybe I’m missing something. I admit to being a bit odd so things that most people get easily, believe emphatically or see as reality I will probably not understand, think is crap or have a completely different take on. But to me it makes no sense to be concerned or feel unsafe or unprotected when people read what you post or look at your profile on a public forum. I mean this is a public forum and no one forces anyone to post on it. But once you do anybody and their grandmother can read whatever you post here without ever signing in. They can follow you around without you ever knowing they exist and read every single word you ever write, all day and all night, over and over a hundred times if they wish. And you might never know.

People who pay for memberships can do the same with the extra added bonus of not leaving a trail and getting to see your profile and your visitor’s page without showing up on it. Other members can just go to see your profile any time they want although they will leave a calling card so to speak. And everybody can read what you post with the exception of must be a member and logged in sections like the red zone. So anything you post there won’t be read by anyone who isn’t a member. But it doesn’t take a lot of fancy credentials and a background check by the FBI to get a membership. Therefore in reality, with a minimum of effort, anyone who wants to can read anything you post and your profile as well.

What puzzles the shit out of me is if this bothers someone in any meaningful way, why would they choose to post stuff on a public forum? Or fill in a profile page? I mean isn’t that the purpose of posting or putting stuff on your profile page? Isn’t it so that other people can read it? Isn’t this even the outcome that is hoped for? I mean how would it feel if no one ever looked at your profile page? That would suck a bit no? Or if no one ever read your posts? I mean sure, mostly I post for myself, but still I want people to read what I write. And I don’t need them to agree. I don’t even need them to like me or me to like them. Not that I can think of anyone off the top of my head that I don’t like. Truthfully I don’t know too many people on here. But regardless of who it is, I still want them to read what I write. I mean we can’t expect that only the people we like or approve of will be allowed to read our words. Or look at our public profile.

And what could possibly happen that we would need to be protected from people who go to read our profile? Even if they camp out there? It’s not like they can set booby traps for us and the next time we open our profiles our computers will explode or god forbid our keyboards blow up leaving our hands and fingers in shreds. I guess the people who don’t like us can glean information about us from the things we say, the threads we post in, the stuff we chose to read and the people who friend us, but seriously what can they do with this information? Other than make fun of us, talk about us with their friends behind or not so behind our backs, spread gossip and rumours about us and generally take every opportunity to bad mouth us whenever and wherever they can, what can they actually do? And the people who want to do shit like that will do it anyway with or without access to your posts, your profile or information about the threads you read.

clay 03-20-2012 02:16 PM

well spoken, Miss Tick!
I have one person who visits my page...every single day...but is a futile visit as what is there to see is limited to contacts and admin/mods!! It bothers me NOT!!! Besides I think that person has a secret crush on me..why else would they need a daily visit..grins...(make it a positive experience!!!)
I totally agree with you...we all know it is a public forum, and we all know what we post is accessible by anyone....so why post if you are worried about being read by anyone else?
It doesn't bother me that the benefits of higher paid memberships have the "invisible" feature. That is one of the perks of the extra membership level. Anyone who chooses has that opportunity. Of course, I am not able to afford a paid one at this time, so I am quite pleased we do have the free one available, and I have never been treated any differently than the paid members are. I am most grateful to Admin. for this perk...CIJS I LOVE the Planet!!!
I also fail to see how it is "stalking" if one chooses to read someone's posts, or maybe goes to visit their page...I go look at profiles or to leave a visitor's message...as I can't always "remember" where they may live, or I may go to click on their statistics page to follow their posts...we have some amazingly talented writers, and some people who are just beautiful with their words.....wit...and knowledge....I don't see the fact I go to read their posts, or subscribe to them, that is "stalking"....I don't think along those lines...I think along lines of "gee I sure do like their posts, or gee I sure do love their wisdom....instead of a negative sense. And I am an open book, so I write from my heart and want others to read it if they enjoy my words. It is flattering to me if they do visit my page, my posts, and leave me user reps..or not.
Anyway, my point is..if I don't want to be seen, then I don't stand in front of a window!...smiles....

apretty 03-20-2012 02:25 PM

There's a minimum of 5 members (that I can see) that have recently looked at my profile--I don't know them, I think nothing of it--I hardly think they have sinister intentions, maybe they found a post interesting/stupid/amazing/strange, maybe they want my body and want to know if I'm single, maybe they're just curious about other members of the community in other parts of the world--Maybe they wonder how E puts up with me! (My therapist doesn't allow the what-if game so I am really going to town, here!)

Also, I randomly look at profiles and also think nothing of it--I had NO IDEA that it caused some such duress, I guess I didn't think anyone thought of me as important enough to think about, let alone apply some meaning over a peek at their profile--Which could even have been accidental as (the same with what someone else posted, above) if I have a few minutes to kill and I use my phone to read the site, I will likely have viewed a couple of profiles, unintentionally.

*Given this new information, I will try not to antagonize anyone by reading their super-secret profile with my spidery eyes.

UofMfan 03-20-2012 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty (Post 550335)
There's a minimum of 5 members (that I can see) that have recently looked at my profile--I don't know them, I think nothing of it--I hardly think they have sinister intentions, maybe they found a post interesting/stupid/amazing/strange, maybe they want my body and want to know if I'm single, maybe they're just curious about other members of the community in other parts of the world--Maybe they wonder how E puts up with me! (My therapist doesn't allow the what-if game so I am really going to town, here!)

Also, I randomly look at profiles and also think nothing of it--I had NO IDEA that it caused some such duress, I guess I didn't think anyone thought of me as important enough to think about, let alone apply some meaning over a peek at their profile--Which could even have been accidental as (the same with what someone else posted, above) if I have a few minutes to kill and I use my phone to read the site, I will likely have viewed a couple of profiles, unintentionally.

*Given this new information, I will try not to antagonize anyone by reading their super-secret profile with my spidery eyes.


I am not going to divulge why sometimes I look a yours. (profile that is)

But on a serious note, if you want privacy, get off the internet. Not YOU apretty, but the general you.

Corkey 03-20-2012 02:32 PM

Reiterating...there is NO such animal as internet privacy. It does not exist, ever.

girl_dee 03-20-2012 02:45 PM

that list of people on our profile pages COULD be people like me who click a name by accident on a post, or like Kim said trying to post from the (i)phone in tiny itty bitty font. It's easy to end up on SOMEONE's page with NO intent at all.

i don't recognize half the folks on my list either, and if my ex, my exes (sort of) ex and current friend, (both on this site) or the exes new gf (also on this site), the exes new gf's ex (no idea i just threw that in) my ex friend (on this site), my friend again ( still on this site, we reconnected), my long time friend (on this site) or my mother (not on this site) want to look at my *page* so be it. i don't even feel comfy calling it MY page, is a page on a website that i get to use, it's not like i bought the damn page anyway. i have full confidence that the site would take care of business if anyone tried to hurt a hair on our heads. Watching people who try to do internet harm being banned is the best deterrent for the rest of the population here to behave. i think they handle it well and one day i am going to get that ex/new/new ex lover float chart to June.

i know all of these people are here and i love this site so sharing the same space can be weird but hey welcome to the internet.

i am here knowing i have limited privacy and my words can be read by the entire world, if i wanted 100% privacy i would not be online at all. If i were vain enough to think the world wanted to read my words i would still not care if they did or not.




Toughy 03-20-2012 03:37 PM

clay....

the only thing missing from your profile page is the ability to leave visitor messages (folks can leave a user note) and your contact info (you have chosen not to receive PMs). All your other info is there for all to see.

Sachita 03-20-2012 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee (Post 550112)
i don't care either and i find it amusing that they do as i hardly post anything juicy :)

I think your stuff is juicy!

Sachita 03-20-2012 03:52 PM

well said Ms Tick!

I'm also thinking that this is a forum of social networking, right? We share, meet, support and want to know others. There's stalking and then there's curious. Some people I find more interesting and enjoy seeing what they are up to.

Just_G 03-20-2012 03:59 PM

I figure if they are lookin' at my page, they are curious as to who I am, wanting to read my profile, or checking to see if I posted anything. Feel free to look...I sure don't mind.

As for the ones that keep coming back to look....they must see something they like or they can't get me out of their head and have to come back for more every day...lol :winky:

I don't put anything out there that I don't want people to see anyway...that would be asking for trouble! :mohawk:

I had an incident a few years ago where the girl I was dating here in town saw that I was horsing around with my BFFF in the "Dear" thread where a bunch of us were posting all silly like we do, being schmoopies. The girl read that and printed screen shots of the conversation so she could accuse me of cheating on her. :blink:

It was NUTZ! No matter how I explained it, she was pissed. I really felt like my privacy was invaded, but it is right there where anyone and everyone can read it.


Toughy 03-20-2012 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Tick (Post 550327)
Maybe I’m missing something.

I snipped the rest of your post......it was far too logical. Logic never runs high on the list of folks who think there is privacy on the interwebz.

DapperButch 03-20-2012 04:07 PM

Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!

Chancie 03-20-2012 04:09 PM

I have an unusual first name, et voila, the rest is history.

clay 03-20-2012 04:10 PM

hey Toughy:
I can, and do receive PM's but only from my friends/contacts I accept!!!
As for all the other info...it isn't anything anyone can do anything with...grins...
Thanks for the information..I am so NOT savvy with this tech stuff! I LOVE your posts, BTW! Yea, I "stalk" you, too...lol...do you mind? Have an awesome day....Clay
Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy (Post 550368)
clay....

the only thing missing from your profile page is the ability to leave visitor messages (folks can leave a user note) and your contact info (you have chosen not to receive PMs). All your other info is there for all to see.


Cin 03-20-2012 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 550385)
Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!

I used to look every so often, but nobody comes to visit anymore. I wish I had people camping out. Or even just coming by to say hey! You wouldn’t catch me complaining. I love company. Visible, invisible, whatever, come on over.

Queerasfck 03-20-2012 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch (Post 550385)
Who even looks at their own profile everyday? I only look at mine if it says I have a message on the corner of the front page. Even then, I don't think it is very often that I even look over to see who has been on my page. Why would I care? If they have something to say, they will leave a message, and said indicator will tell me to take a look!

Well I'm disappointed!!!

I went to your profile to gawk and ogle you and I couldn't even leave a visitor message. How am I supposed to cruise you if I can't leave a message.


(w)


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