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-   -   Instant Turn-Offs (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7445)

Smiling 05-31-2014 07:50 AM

My 4 instant turn offs -
 
And for me, these apply to anyone; friends, colleagues, acquaintances, dates, whomever....


The sound of forced laughter is an all-out auditory assault; if you don't find something funny, you really don't have to laugh. In fact, I beg you to please just stop unless it's genuine.

Obviously fake smiles; if you're gonna fake it, you had better make that performance count! Put some effort into it, for crying out loud, lol.

Limp handshakes; just ugh all the way around. I will always prefer an overly-enthusiastic hand pumper (lol, is that the correct term? - I don't know how else to describe it) to shaking hands with a overused dishrag. How do these people get jobs, anyway?

Halfhearted hugs. Either mean it; or just get offa me already, lol.

I can cope with pretty much anything else.

Girl_On_Fire 05-31-2014 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadianmusician (Post 912003)
Showing up drunk or high is definitely a turn off. This happened once.

Low self confidence.

Jumbled/compartmentalized communication styles. I like to hear it clear as a bell!

Even calling me drunk or high is unacceptable to me. Bleh.

Medusa 05-31-2014 12:31 PM

Hygiene is a huge one - Dirty fingernails, teeth, hair, feet, or clothing is a huge turn off.

Name-dropping

Hypochondria

No sense of humor or having a stick up your ass

Mean-spirited bullshit or rudeness

Not being able to hold a conversation about current events or politics on even a small level

Interrupting

Not listening

Racism/Sexism

Owning an emu (LOL! I'm phobic!!)

Gemme 05-31-2014 01:17 PM

I think that someone who doesn't understand (at least not without a REALLY good reason.....like being raised by wolves in the forest or something) the fine lines that traverse and connect our social relationships.

For example, the lines between confident, cocky and arrogant. For me, I'm definitely okay with the first option and possibly the second option if there's humor in the equation but the last option is an instant switch flipper (and not in the ON direction).

The line between dominant and controlling is another example.

I like it when people....not just potential mates, but all people....toe the line of impropriety in one form or another but have enough sense to not fall off the deep end.

For the record, I have no ill will towards emus or those who love and/or own and/or farm them.

Diablo 05-31-2014 02:02 PM

People who are so self centered they seem to forget they are actually talking to another person. I like to be talked with, not talked AT.

Violette 06-01-2014 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skeeter_01 (Post 910979)
A know it all, eating with their mouth open or smacking their lips while they eat.

I am with you on the eating with their mouth open and smacking their lips. That's a hard one for me to relax around.

Mean people, ignorant people, people who use texting "shorthand", (U no..cnt be bothered to rite out there hole thought) oh and the whole "there, their, they're" thing. People who can't be bothered to use spell check.

I used to be right there with you on the "there, their, and they're thing." That used to bug the hell out of me until a funny thing happened. I started to write on the internet. Then I would re read things that I had written, and wouldn't you know it. I do the same damn thing. In fact, I did it today in a post. I couldn't edit it anymore. I am well educated. I fully know the difference and how to use each word correctly, but alas, I make mistakes. I am not that careful when I am not writing for work. The internet is play time. I got over it.

As for my Instant Turn-Offs: treating strangers poorly (yes, I watch how a person treats the food servers), bad odor, long toe nails. Oh yeah, intolerance of differences (as in different cultures etc).

Martina 06-02-2014 12:13 AM

People who are way performative. I know it is just one way of being in the world, and it's kind of celebrated in our sub-culture. But it doesn't work for me. Wears me out.

Kobi 06-02-2014 05:35 AM



Biggest turn off for me is having never-ending lists of turn offs because:

1. It denies the reality of being imperfect human beings.

2. It takes away from the quirkiness and individuality of people expressing their diversity in their own way.

3. It indicates people should fit a check off list of what pleases each of us, rather than just accepting who they are.

4. It adds negativity to the world which seems to need a good healthy dose of positivity.



Martina 06-02-2014 09:45 AM

Well, I think you ought to know what you want and what you can and can't put up with. What's the value of all this experience if it isn't to learn from and prevent yourself from wasting time and hurting yours and others' feelings?

Kobi 06-02-2014 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina (Post 913248)
Well, I think you ought to know what you want and what you can and can't put up with. What's the value of all this experience if it isn't to learn from and prevent yourself from wasting time and hurting yours and others' feelings?


Indeed, it behooves one to know oneself well.

Sometimes, it also behooves one to take a step back and ponder. Sometimes, some things we dislike is likeable with the right person. Sometimes, what we like can be horrific with the wrong person.

Sometimes we might need to think about whether we are seeking a real, live, imperfect human being, or if we are seeking an inanimate cardboard cut out of <insertpreferencehere> embedded in our fantasies.

And, I appreciate you raising this existential concept without rearranging my parts. I can see I am still growing on you and have graduated from "like mold on wet sheet rock", to "a mere allergen tickling your nose".

:cheesy:



Martina 06-02-2014 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 913252)

And, I appreciate you raising this existential concept without rearranging my parts. I can see I am still growing on you and have graduated from "like mold on wet sheet rock", to "a mere allergen tickling your nose".

- - - - *Achoo* - - -

candy_coated_bitch 06-02-2014 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 913252)
And, I appreciate you raising this existential concept without rearranging my parts. I can see I am still growing on you and have graduated from "like mold on wet sheet rock", to "a mere allergen tickling your nose".

:cheesy:

I find both mold on wet sheet rocks AND allergens tickling my nose instant turn offs. :cherry:

Kobi 06-03-2014 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch (Post 913371)
I find both mold on wet sheet rocks AND allergens tickling my nose instant turn offs. :cherry:


So much for the candy coating. :)


And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Girl_On_Fire 06-03-2014 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi (Post 913212)


Biggest turn off for me is having never-ending lists of turn offs because:

1. It denies the reality of being imperfect human beings.

2. It takes away from the quirkiness and individuality of people expressing their diversity in their own way.

3. It indicates people should fit a check off list of what pleases each of us, rather than just accepting who they are.

4. It adds negativity to the world which seems to need a good healthy dose of positivity.



This thread was not started with the intent to put anyone down or ask others to come up with a 20-page laundry list of faults other people have that they can't abide.

However, there is something to be said for knowing what you can and can't put up with. Some habits, attitudes, etc. are simply deal-breakers, even if the person can't help it.

Even I have been a bit taken aback by some of what I've read on here because the poster is not only describing traits I have, but traits I can't help or "fix" (and some of them, I wouldn't necessarily want to). Still, it's better to know these things up front before investing any time in a relationship that is destined for failure.


I think it's a good idea to be clear both about what does it for you and what doesn't so you can select a mate that best matches you, rather than suffering in silence with someone who really does have 20-plus unacceptable qualities or habits that you can't stand because you've decided to settle.

Charmingbutch21 07-02-2014 07:29 AM

Smoking (Cigarettes, not as in being smoking hot or the very attractive type of smoking)

MysticOceansFL 07-02-2014 07:39 AM

Just one word , Dishonesty

Teddybear 07-02-2014 07:50 AM

Ppl who think they can bully the other person into whatever they want
Ppl who cant take thank you but NO thanks
Ppl who r so into themselves
Ppl who say one thing but are another

Omg i could keep on

starryeyes 07-02-2014 09:15 AM

Lacking self confidence
Not able to carry an intelligent conversation
Passive
Pessimistic
Boring
Jealous
Not willing to take risks
Can't laugh
Hung up on the past
Not self-sufficient
No goals, ambitions or dreams
Not a sushi fan
Doesn't treat my dogs well
Doesn't treat me like a lady

Duchess 07-05-2014 06:04 PM

~Pessimism
~Sloppy appearance
~No imagination

bobbi46 07-05-2014 06:58 PM

turn off
 
most things everyone has covered ...

just like to add pity party ppl.
poor me ..stuff.

(suck it up.. move on we all have stories)

Be well :)


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