Goofy, you are soooo very right!! I think all too often it isnt about telling "war" stories but needing to compare and see who suffered worse trauma...sad thing is that nothing is won w the proverbial "pissing contest" everyone has suffered isnt that sad enough....why keep reliving it....lets help eachother to move forward not backwards and be a SUPPORT not a demon to one another....I am so glad you pointed this out and have the professional background to support it..that means a great deal....thank you

Yes, total sense.... except the part where "a subject came up". Thats the part I meant when I asked how do you discuss triggers without triggering someone accidentally.... Not meaning telling your stories, or asking each other why what happened, but I meant like a guideline maybe for avoiding the subjects completely so as to NOT trigger someone.

And wow, I dont want to have anyone sharing personal stuff to be viewed as a 'pissing contest' to someone else, that must have been a terrible experience to feel like someone wanted to "top" how bad their experience was and compare themselves to others. Now I am really leary to join a support type group other than the one I have already participated in online.

I hope there are clear guidelines for the PTSD room. Sadly my craputer isnt as compatible with the chat here as I'd thought it was at first. It freezes and crashes. Hope there will be after thoughts that make it to the forums for us readers.

Peace and Healing thoughts for all...

I'm lost
 

Very respectfully,

To be honest, I feel like the tread I started has been hijacked. There is now a trauma group on chat I don't have access too, and guidelines on what we can discuss.

I know everyone means well, but I need this and I feel like it is being taken away and I am being chastised for wanting an open space.

I wanted a place we could share day to day stuff that freaks us out due to PTSD and trauma. I don't think it helps anyone for us to share in secret, I go to therapy for that.

I wanted people not to feel so alone, and now I feel incredibly alone. Nauseated in fact.

Is there something better I can name a thread that is open for us to discuss daily stuff where people who are not comfortable to actually share can at least know they are not the only one. I hate the idea of a secret password.

I need a thread for discussion and support and this one seems to have been led in a completely different direction.

Seriously, if you need this thread to be a private group chat 2 hours a week, great, but help me know what to name a thread that those of us who are past being afraid or just don't care can use.

FYI
 

Bellruth Naperstek has a guided mediation CD on PSTD that is amazing. An MD told me about her work. It's available at health journeys online and I'm assuming bookstores too.

time time helps... everything fades away with time... nightmares... memories.... time heals everything....
it's a process...a slow one... but time takes care of everything...

Apocalipstic, I'm sorry you feel like your thread has been hijacked. The reality is that there isn't a trauma group in chat yet. Jewel is trying to organize one. I think your intention to have this thread is quite similar to a support group, with the exception that its all out there for everyone to see.

With the exception of professional facilitation, support groups generally do not focus on the events which led to/created the trauma, but focus on the current experiences of their members. They are not therapy groups, people who feel a need to tell their story, would best be served seeing a therapist. Support groups are about receiving validation and sharing coping skills, resources and information; they are about empowering each member and helping each other find the capacity to trust people once again, as well as fostering a sense that one is not alone. I think facilitating a PTSD group is a huge responsibility, and one not to be taken lightly, I would prefer to participate in such a group in real time, not online.

Andrew, you are absolutely right, pain is pain, and it is the pain that must be dealt with, not the sordid details from which it sprang. We can't change what has happened to us, we can only change how it has effected us.

So is it or is it not OK for us to have a thread where those of us who want to discuss or vent can do so?

I do see a therapist, BTW.

I am not trying to facilitate a support group, just have a thread where if I want to discuss symptoms, fears, meltdowns I can.

I am really bothered by the exclusive secret password thing. Who gets it, who can be private? and why on my thread?

Apocalipstic, I think you have a winner of a thread here, and I think folks are venting and discussing as they wish. I was not pointing my finger at you. I was not saying you were facilitating a support group, rather pointing out the similarities between this thread and a support group.

Thank you! I was just not getting it. You explained it well :).

I really have thought about it and I agree that the permission to join and password thing is not what I was going for. It seems elitist.

Secrets are one of the things that fuel PTSD for me, I don't want any more secrets or permission to share.

Ah :) Thank you for explaining!

I am not a mental health professional, so I would not want to be seen in any way as a facilitator...just a friend discussing with anyone who wants to. :)

Apocalipstic, I think sometimes....a true friend can be better than any mental health professional...at least in my experiences. Keep on trucking sista...and thank you for this venue to see that...we arent alone (sadly) bc that means we have all been thru devestating events in our lives.... But knowing we have eachother, someone who can understand where we are without the need to explain..is what keeps us going from day to day and sometimes second to second....thank you! And if this thread get highjacked...many of us will go along with it as well...! Dont fret dear

That is my point Andrew...but what I am saying is that there are those out there who feel validated for some reason...thinking they have suffered worse...there is no "worse" its all worse....!!! I suppose to me what is boils down to...is how one copes with things...and we all have coping issues...or we wouldnt be here..and we need support and friends not to feel minimized or degrated. Sorry if that wasnt stated more clearly....I guess I see us as a community who needs to sticky by one another not push us apart. If we didnt need support, again we wouldnt have reached out to this thread. Again, I thank those who started it and who post here...becase it is a horrible place to be when you feel alone, as we all have experienced.

Saying what actually happened to us is difficult, and in many cases, like mine...it is not one thing, it is an array of "Lifetime" movies and I doubt anyone wants to hear about it. Laugh!

Last night, when I was spinning out, it meant so much to me to have a place to post about it, ridiculous as it was.

I was torn as to where to post....Mental Illness? :|? Neurodiversity? Did I need to start a new thread, now that it seemed this one was going in a different direction?

I don't know. Now apparently because I am disgruntled the group is not going to happen?

I just want a place where we can share. I am not trying to start a war....just maintain an open space with no secrecy. Where everyone is welcome. :)

Sorry if I hurt feelings by feeling like the thread was hijacked. I was not pointing fingers in any one direction, just feeling at a loss as to where to discuss, if this is not a viable place to do so.

Secrets and excluding people is not what I am about right now. I have snuck around all my life and I refuse to be that person any more.

I have been always been open and honest. Others I cannot speak for. I can only speak for myself. I am not comfortable in discussing my personal pain and suffering any longer.

I never have been on the chat, and have no clue as to how to even use the chat.

I wish everyone here peace. I hope you all find your joy in life, and inner peace.

Much love,
Andrew

I appreciate your answer! :)

When you look at chat, you can see who is in a group....then if you try to log on the the PTSD group it asks for a password. That is not safe to me. Safe is no one know I am even there. NO one seeing my name at ALL.

I do not want anyone ever to feel left out because they can't log in. They would be able to see us there, but not join in. I hate that idea.

Secrets and exclusion are triggering for many people.

Also, I do not feel like I am qualified to be a facilitator, nor have I seen anyone post who is. If there is a therapy group, then we need a therapist. I did not set this up as a therapy group.

Do whatever you want, start whatever you want, but I would like to keep posting in my own thread about things I find important and helpful. If a moderator tells me to stop then I will...but thats pretty much it at this point.

That someone else who wants to take things in a different direction towards secrecy is more than welcome to start their own thread and go from there.

I picked this website for a reason, to be open and honest. That is what I am looking for in life.

If I have to sneak around about bad things that have happened to me and be encouraged to feel shame about them and hide them for other member's safety then have not my abusers won?

I wonder if secrecy and confidentiality are the same thing for you. It's really not the same thing but I can see where you see it that way.

The chat room (in theory as it still is) I understood was open to anyone who wanted to participate, and that is what I still understand. I don't know anything else, really...and being able to see who is in the room is one thing, hearing or reading what is being said is quite another.

Your thread is great, I have posted in it and I am glad it's available to all, but do you see where some posters aren't comfortable with posting any details? That's okay right, but they still post to let us know they are there. That's a start. Posting in black and white is permanent. Like maybe it locks in your words and then it can't change...but that's not true, we know it can all change...good or bad (read trigger or healing) sometimes with just a well placed word, phrase or explanation...

I don't think anyone's abusers win when we the victims seek and find help. The abusers thought we could not do anything without them and we have, even starting this thread is a giant step in that direction. What I see about abusers in my mind and heart is that they are the ones who are royally messed up and in order to deal, they hurt others/us/everyone. (Hurt people hurt people) It's horrible to feel anything but anger towards them, but I do feel pity, and it's such a shame that they didn't have what we do...therapy, healing, hope...so now THEY are the sad little things in our memories and somewhere in our lives that don't have any more power over us...NO MORE!

I wish you all the best always...

Thank you so much!

But what if someone sees we are in that chat room and wants to be a part, but is not invited? It hurts my heart to think about it.

Does that make sense?

However, you have to remember that some folks have different motives than we do. We are survivors. We are recovering each day. Thank God above!

Some folks want to take our struggles and limitations to a different level and try to silence us so they have some attention that they are lacking in life. That is how I feel.

I don't know really, but I just don't feel much like being silenced ;)

Maybe the group can be worked out so no one feels bad. I hope so.

For me it is important to speak my truth when I need to and I hope that by not being ashamed of things that have happened in my life others will not feel so alone.

I hope you feel better! I've had the cough and headache for 3 weeks now. UGH.

So back to my triggers, laugh. :)

After pondering how to deal with Rocky the Cemetary Dude, I decided to get my sister to handle it. She quite likes telling people off in a nice way. :)

We can't just be rude because our whole family is buried there, and we will end up seeing Rocky the Cemetary Dude again soon...but not for my funeral.

:)

Um I agree with the courtesy thing, especially because I was thinking Apoc was part of creating the chat room people were talking about. I am confused but reading on.

I am confused, as well, because it seems that courtesy would have been involving the thread creator and participants rather than coming in and announcing the wonderful PTSD chat that only certain people were invited to.

I had two people contact me today about whether or not I was invited to the chat (which I was not), one of whom was pretty upset about it.

I'm not much of a chatter, but it sucks that other people who may have benefited from such a support are upset/ confused.

I hope that it gets cleared up and everyone can feel good about it. :)

Times are probably hard for everyone, but really do you need to have a cemetary telemarket you?!? This seems really rude on so many levels.

I am really glad to hear your sister is handling it for you. I too find it hard to deal with people politely in social situations when it is DIRECTLY related to my abusers and triggers. Sometimes I end up feeling badly for reacting from that panic or rage state of mind.

Instead of anyone asking questions evertyone lets their imaginations run wild and start making assumtions and uninformed statemtent. The chat room willbe open to ALL PTSD surviviors that need support. If u want to join, you PM and and you get the password. Simple as that. But everyone felt the need to put their 02. cents in when they really had NO clue how the group was going to be run. It is password protected because people dont want someone who has just wanted to go and have the regular chat I.E The Planet chatroom, to come into the PTSD chatroom and hear their private stuff. Sooo ANYONE that wants to discuss PTSD can get the password. It was ALL put in place so survivors could have confidentitality if THEY needed it. The open forum is awesome for people that are comfortable putting their stuff out in an open forum, some of us are not evolved in our PTSD journey and dont want it in an open forum. There is NOTHING opressive or elitist about than when its open to all members. And as far as breaching this forum thread, its already been discussed and there was NO advertising involved. Someone asked a question and it was answered and then it go bigger. Lets get back to aopcs original thread here and when the kinks have been worked out, an announcement in ANOTHER thread will be made. enough is enough. Do we have to dissect and pick apart every single things thats made public? And no the facilitators arent PHDs. They are people that have been thru PTSD themselves and want to help others. They are just there to make sure we dont sit there and not know what to say to each other. Just to help the convo along.

Chat rooms and following conversations are difficult. I personally think they suck for support groups but that is my opinion. I might suggest free phone conferencing where you can actually gather a group and talk with one another. They're free...

http://www.freeconference.com/conferencecall.aspx

If people have phones with unlimited long distance it is a much easier process than trying to follow a chat dialogue. In support sessions hearing a voice can make it all that much more personal. Just a suggestion.

In the future, if you again choose to quote me, I would appreciate it if you don't then vomit out all of your confusing frustration in my direction.

I directed nothing at you, I just made a general statement because I was confused and others are, as well. I didn't even mention most of those things you are complaining about in my post.

But thanks for clearing that all up. :)

Glad to hear the room was so meaningful and helpful for you princess4u. I am more confused now hearing that it is not open and not announced yet, but open to all who know to pm for a password. Seems that its already opened to me?? Hoping someone can explain whats really going on here in this thread and support chat rooms that arent really secret. At all..?

Amelia, sorry there seems to be such confusion. I didnt realize prior to that posting that the "chat group" hadnt been made public..i seriously doubt that there was ever any intent on making a by invite only group. I dont think that was the goal then nor now. I didnt have a positive experience that night and personally have no plans to continue with any support other than what we do here on the thread. I am not in charge of it, had nothingn to do with setting it up. I would think that whomever is taking control of this venue..will make sure that everyone is made aware of the when's and how's....I think we have a good outlet here in the thread and for those who would like open group discusson then the chat will perhaps meet their needs....We are seeming to get out of control here...and I am sorry if my post started all this....i was very upset and needed support from my PTSD community, so I reached out without knowing that it wasnt made known there was going to be a chat room for us. So please, everyone take a deep breath....we are here to love and support....when and if a chat room will be up and running will hopefully be made known once all the legistics are well thoughtout. Until then....we are still a community who needs one another. And that is why A made this thread......it is a strong foundation and forum for us to post our thoughts and feelings and cries for help. For only a PTSD sufferer can understand what another PTSD sufferer is going through. I know some ppl may feel cheated, or left out, or perhaps there is some click thing going on in the chat community...but that is not the case....just some ppl need different venues for their outlet.....thats all....plain and simple..perhaps it wasnt handled the best way.....that could be just from lack of knowledge .....we all live and learn....and most of all we are all human....lets not forget that....there was no dishonest or evil plots trying to unfold here............I love you all....I value your hearts, your pain, your friendship and kindness......lets stick together.....for some of us......this forum is all we have at this moment in time......much love and peace to all of us.....princess

Good....for....you!!! And thanks for your sincerity...

I never went to this "group" thing whatever it is. I only knew of it skimming through the last couple of pages. This is a thread to share our experiences and support as victims. PTSD is bitch and a bitch to talk about as it is. That group thing is alienating to the uninvited and uninformed, and from what it sounds like, not very workable. I'm glad people are sharing opinions against the idea and/or the meeting that didn't work for them. My .02.

Thank you for your input, Im sorry the whole thing just hit me wrong after seeing the passcode and hearing that certain people would not be allowed.

I appologize if I made you feel bad. Come and discuss or read any time :)



I had no idea.

Stuff affects me differently than my sister, for her making the call is empowering. :)


That is a great idea. Then, no one will feel left out and no one can SEE the chat room they are being excluded from! Thank you!