Butch Femme Planet - New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion

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meridiantoo

03-06-2013 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard (Post 762603)

I know when I broke up with my ex( Gooses mother) she um went into the spare bedroom where I was staying and found my harness and a new cock that I had purchased before we even broke up she cut them both up and left it on my bed.

:blink:

I'm sure there are valid reasons for doing this, but not many. Yowsie.

Soon	03-06-2013 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo (Post 762604)

I just think the answer to the crimes against humanity/life in general does not lie in male persecution or male subjugation. Two wrongs do not make a right. I am not a feminist as such. I don't think women should rule.

Feminism is not about subjugating and/or persecuting men (or even creating a system where "women...rule"--although more women in positions of power would help)--it is about working towards social, economic, sexual, political (etc.) equality in a world that is far from it.

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy (Post 762578)

First: [B][I]

Ok what I am trying to figure out is this idea that you go buy new equipment together BEFORE you have sex. Talk about ruining the spontaneity of the moment. So we have been on a couple of dates and the attraction is obvious and I take you home and it gets hot and heavy........STOP.....cannot have sex.......don't have new equipment, would be disrespectful. Do folks sit down and talk about sex and equipment and all that stuff before they fuck? That would make me nuts. Sex is spontaneous in my world. I don't need to talk about boundaries and all that before the first time. I pay attention to my partner and her reactions to every single thing I do. I can tell if she likes it or does not like it. If she sees my cock and thinks it's wrong for her then hers comes out.....that is not much more than two or three sentences. I promise she can tell the same thing about me....whether I like what she is doing or do not like it. If this is going to continue then of course there will be longer conversations.

Much of the conversation happens during the normal discourse of dating, not a formal 'lay it all on the table' event. If, during the normal course of courtship (love that word/term/concept), I still have doubts/questions/concerns, I do initiate directed conversations. Does it kill the mood? It sometimes postpones the mood. If the mood is that 'fleeting' and 'wanton' then it's not what I want to invest in anyway.

It just takes paying attention for the most part. But, not everyone has the same set of lenses through which they interpret others. So, I think this means we all we can pay attention and still miss important details and need to verbally ask.

The_Lady_Snow

03-06-2013 01:22 PM

NO WAY!!

I don't understand how being a feminist = hating men..

Originally Posted by Bard
I know when I broke up with my ex( Gooses mother) she um went into the spare bedroom where I was staying and found my harness and a new cock that I had purchased before we even broke up she cut them both up and left it on my bed.
------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by meridian

I'm sure there are valid reasons for doing this, but not many. Yowsie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

meridian, there is no validity for taking someone's personal property and ruining it NONE.. That kind of shit is gross and there are some deep issues going on there.

I am pretty sure we can safely say that by her cutting up the equipment did NOT stop Bard from seeking another relationship/s...

Destroying property isn't cool, justifiable or ok no matter what, if you're (general) cray cray is showing that bad and you (general) are starting to get that creeping thought of destroying stuff that belongs to a lover, ex, or ANYONE perhaps a trip to the therapist is due...

WOW!! I can't believe I read what I read just now!!!

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soon (Post 762615)

I don't think true feminism is either. Neither is true masculinism/patriarchy. It's the perverted and skewed reality of how that plays out in history that makes it wrong, in my perspective. I am all for supporting/advancing women's rights. I did not make that statement to infer all feminism is male-bashing. I meant to imply that if it becomes that extreme, then I'm not on board with it.

:hangloose:

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 762619)

You rape a woman, you earn that. That's my point of view. There are reasons I can see women do it. I personally would not. But, I also would not judge someone who was raped and did that in angst.

Just my 2 cents....

I don't go around chopping cock up for personal pleasure.

~ocean

03-06-2013 01:31 PM

buy a bushel and a peck and let her snuggle into your neck ~~

The_Lady_Snow

03-06-2013 01:33 PM

Huh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo (Post 762626)

.

I'm confused when did rape come into the convo?

pinkgeek

03-06-2013 01:35 PM

True Feminism?

What is true feminism or are you referring to how you see feminism? Someone with a better grounding in women's studies than I do, I'd love an answer re: the concept of "true feminism". Feel free to PM so we don't go off topic much further.

Contemporary feminism as I understand it has to do with women having the freedom and choice to do ANYTHING a man does and nothing to do with make bashing.

Meri- the rest of my comments I'll send in a message to you so we don't inadvertently run too far off the original topic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo (Post 762622)

kittygrrl

03-06-2013 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toughy (Post 762393)

Did you know that every pronoun you used for a butch is clearly without a doubt a male pronoun?......HE......I hope you do not believe butch=he.

I'm curious what the turn off is about gloves? I used them for anal sex long before HIV came into existence..... It was easy just to add vaginal penetration with gloves. What I highlighted in red is confusing to me. Can you explain it?

Contrary to the opinions had by some who think they know me i ' havent had numerous encounters. I had one lover that lied to me about her casual encounters with men and as a result had to endure 2 hiv tests scared and completely convinced i had contracted hiv. From that point on I made it a priority that before & until I got to know someone well I wasn't going to put myself in that position again, hence by the time we are involved we've both been tested and i feel safer. Gloves, it's just a personal thing, it's a turn-off..i've no problem with saran wrap.
Regarding he/hi/hym/her/hir. I have a tendency to use whatever term appeals to the person i am with..it's automatic..her is also totally fine but i haven't been with anyone in many years who hasn't expressed issues with her. No disrespect intended I am comfortable with both him/her etc. Just a habit of late, real time it's usually easy to pick up but this is a forum so tend to project from my current experience.

Bard	03-06-2013 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo (Post 762626)

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

AmazonWoman1

03-06-2013 01:40 PM

Nailing the Real Points Down With Language

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkgeek (Post 762405)

I think this is a really interesting and valid point Martina.

I was recently at a meeting with some of the heads of the DOH here and other people in key positions and I was really really surprised by how not liberal about sex they were. The shock was because considering what we do for a living, we've heard it all and then some........One colleague expressed shock at someone hosting a sex party and another epidemiologist couldn't get over the concept of someone being bisexual AND poly. "Why can't they just be normal" was actually said at one point. I was surprised that sex work wasn't talked about openly and when it was there was a whole cloud of shame and stigma around it. Your politics may not be the same as mine, but shame and sex are absolutely about patriarchy, religious fundamentalism, myths and stigma.

I fully realize I'm in the minority and some of my liberalness about sex is because I grew up in a highly conservative environment and part of how I acted out against it was by being sexually and politically liberal as hell. I get that I see sex and many other things humans do through a lens that I purposefully smashed as much shame and judgement out of as I can.

So here lies the problem as I see it in our community of queers who dig the butch/femme label, identity, etc. Sex in most all communities has an element of shame involved in it, some more so than others but it's not as much of an individual opinion as it is a insidious social one. In my opinion when the queer community places "respect" on a toy or cock being new we add to the problem not take away from it and here's why in my opinion.

If I go back and read this whole thread I see a dividing line come pretty clear. Those who think sex is sex and doing it safely is what's paramount and those who think respect, class, love, etc is tied to the newness of object used to reach orgasm and the infrequency of one night stands being important to them.

The unsaid remark I feel is that those of us who are more liberal are slutty. Slutty because we don't place relative importance on buying a new cock or toy for a new partner. Slutty that we are less loving, respectful, classy and slutty because one night stands or sex for the sake of sex doesn't cause us moral or emotional dilemma. That we love less deeply because we have had more than a select few lovers/partners.

So in closing this note that is sure to be irritating to some what I will say is....examine the value judgements you make around sex. (I'm including myself, I need to examine my own since I got a little judgy-mcjudgerton by people expressing more conservative and emotion based opinions than I have.)

Same sex marriage is illegal based on arguments about how we have s.e.x and who we have sex with and to add additional shame around sex to me adds legitimacy to the argument that what we do in our beds is somehow not normal when it is.

Sex is normal and fun and messy and sometimes safe and sometimes unsafe, but either way you slice it sex, queer sex, het sex, kinky sex it's all sex and sex is a normal human thingy! (Yay for not science words that get the point across!)

I'm fairly certain the shaming attitude is less what people are thinking or writing openly and on purpose and more something that has evolved and come to light as a result of this thread which is both beautiful and important.

Personally I shall endeavor to spend more time having sex this week than I do talking about it which means I had better stop writing! :eek:

I am amazed at what is actually occurring here for all of us.Many of us are telling others who we truly are & in doing so pushing buttons that were previously hidden from them.When other readers Like Daktari & Pink Geek & Martina come along & language the hidden subtextual messages that are pushing the buttons everyone of us benefits form that exchange.These discomforts are truly enlightening to all of us.We become more fully aware beings.This text seen previously as a slight becomes a true learning experience.Thank you for all of it .Namaste

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard (Post 762634)

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

Right..not saying you raped her. Saying that would be one of the few viable reasons I can see someone doing that, that's all.

:wallbreak: My head hurts!

CherylNYC

03-06-2013 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard (Post 762634)

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

Thank you for being so patient with a very inflammatory post, Bard.

Meridian, I'm shocked that you would jump all the way to rape in the middle of this conversation. That was really inappropriate.

Daktari

03-06-2013 03:33 PM

Rape is a reason to prosecute someone for a violent crime, not carte blanche to respond in kind.

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CherylNYC (Post 762671)

Thank you for being so patient with a very inflammatory post, Bard.

Meridian, I'm shocked that you would jump all the way to rape in the middle of this conversation. That was really inappropriate.

I'm not sure what you mean by inflammatory. I was thinking of 2 separate posts when I made that response to Bard. I in no way meant to insinuate that Bard had raped anyone, nor that it was even a thought Bard had misconducted in any way. I was trying to address 2 things at once - 1 being that there is very rare occasion to ever think of doing something like that (butchering someone's stuff, specifically their equipment/toys/cock/not sure what word you prefer here), which would be rape, and 2 being that I thought it was inappropriate of her ex to do that, considering it wasn't a situation of rape. I did not explain myself well, so I can understand the jump seemed extreme and unwarranted. However, my intentions were benign and meant to both allude to Bard's ex as way off course in her actions as well as express understanding that there are instances, though rare, where it would be understandable for someone to react in such a way. I could just as easily have chosen murder as an understandable reason for someone destroying property. As I said, instances for that are rarely excusable. It's like that song by a country female vocalist who slashes her boyfriend's car because he cheats on her. I don't think that's appropriate. But, many would say an eye for an eye. To each their own.

Bard, I apologize if my response brought you into that negative light. It was not my desire to do so.

Toughy

03-06-2013 04:04 PM

There were matriarchal societies.....read books written by women and not men to find out about them. I have an entire bookshelf full of books about that subject dating back to the 70's.

I do not have any rules about when I have sex with someone. It happens when it happens. I probably would not ever date anyone who said 'no sex for 3 months'. I don't have time to wait 3 months for you to make up your mind whether you like me or want to have sex with me. I know the minute I lay eyes on you if I want to have sex with you and generally it takes about 3 hours or less of conversation to figure out if I like you. Life is short and getting shorter all the time (for me). When the mood strikes sex should happen.

I actually do not care at all about testing for STDs because I practice safer sex. I have had sex with folks with HIV and Hep C.....safer sex. I do not have either of them. If I ever decide to be fluid bonded with someone, then we will have that conversation, knowing it will take at least 6 more months of safer sex and testing before that bonding occurs.

There is a body fluid I will exchange and happily with anyone I am having sex with........that would be spit.......I love kissing and you cannot do it properly without some spit swapping......laughin..........

kittygrrl

03-06-2013 05:09 PM

Yes..I love kissing also and while I've always thought it was fairly safe, I've read lately the HPV virus may be possible with even this activity. Also while we are talking safety I hope all who have access do take the HPV vaccine that is available. It won't protect you from all the mutations of the HPV but it does give some protection. Talk about scarey HPV has some very sobering stats..please excuse the digression..

meridiantoo

03-06-2013 08:54 PM

I'm bowing out of this thread....

Thank you to everyone for your input and insight.

Hollylane

03-06-2013 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 762591)

I am going to bounce of your post Holly because I feel it's important and it isn't being talked about.

*I* personally if I was in a long distance relationship would not consent to my girl/boy keeping "my" cock.

For *ME* (notice I am talking about me, not anyone else but me) I would not be comfortable with my fuck buddy. partner.submissive.plaything.hook up. if they asked me to leave my cock or toys there. I would wonder why? I would be like um no, I would look at them and wonder why they had the need to keep something that is mine there. (this is different than toothbrushes, t-shirts or any other item that some folks need to be connected).

The reason I bring this up is because I'd like to keep this conversation *real* if I wanted to fuck, there is nothing that is going to stop me. Me leaving my cock at X's house isn't going to stop me from fucking if the urge rises up. Just because I left my cock at O's house is not going to deter me from sexy time. I can:

A. purchase another one

B. use my hands, mouth, or a banana if I want

C. I can use who I am with cock or toys

D. I may have other cocks at home to use

I don't know if for some people the "buy new stuf for me" is a security issue, a value issue, a trust issue, or they just really want a new cock stuff.

It's really a shame we can not have a conversation about the preferences of cock without having to shame those who do partake in one night stands, weekend fucky fucky time, went to Little Rock and got me some time, or any other kind of consentual adult relationship. We're adults as Toughy pointed out if you are going to replace all the toys I hope that these talks are being had BEFORE the actual fucky fucky, if not then I hope you plan a trip to the cock store so everyone is happy. I also hope that while people are getting to know one another the first thing one should be asking is are they tested because nothing ruins a good time like disease or two.

The myth that people who happen to like to fuck without having to be in a monogamous relationship are classless, disrespectful, dirty, dangerous needs to stop. I assure you I am disease free, OCD clean, am never without gloves, condom, damn, saran wrap, I am so sure of this I can put a money bet that my doctors bag is a safe sex haven compared to most people's idea or drawer of safe sex.

Just to be clear (not because I think that you are saying something different about my post, but so that there are no misunderstandings or assumptions about Gaige and I)...The post I made earlier, was purely in joyful fun...Gaige and I enjoy the playfulness in our relationship, both bold playfulness, and vague sexual innuendos.

There are no worries about who is in possession of one of Gaige's cocks. There is a level of trust between us that is amazing, and that we both love and value very much. One of the cocks was left here purely for convenience. We are just fine with Gaige's cocks being at both ends of the country, or all in the same place, just as long as one, or all of them, are where we are, when it is time to engage in some "sexy time" in the same zip code.

Incidentally, she also left behind for her convenience; pj's, a sweater, toiletries, and instant coffee (I may have asked her to leave the coffee behind, because I was worried she might enjoy her "coffee time" with someone else...J/k...lol).

Frankly, until we decide the time is right to make a responsible move into our own home, my home is her home, and her home is mine. So, leaving things behind, is sometimes just easier than paying extra baggage fees each time, or worrying about who's been stirring the contents of your luggage around in the airport.

In relationships, Gaige and I both want/are monogamous type people. However, we do not think that what other people want or do, is wrong, dirty, shameful, disrespectful, etc...Live and let live.

Hollylane

03-06-2013 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 762619)

I agree. I tend to become very concerned about someone's state of mind when they start to feel the need to destroy property in a symbolic way. To me, the idea of needing to destroy something and then present it to that person, feels violent, and controlling. Yuck.

Sun	03-07-2013 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meridiantoo (Post 762404)

I am new and did not realize another thread had already addressed this topic. I do think it being in both forums is a good idea, though (both femme and butch). I feel more comfortable speaking my mind in the femme forums, perhaps because I am new. I may not be the only femme who feels that way.

Now about that banana ice cream :balloon:

I truly hope that my comment did not offend you in any way, I am sorry, of course you are new here. Last night I was a exhausted and somewhat impatient with similar points being made repeatedly but it has nothing to do with you. That is on me.

Banana ice cream..lol..food conversations follow me everywhere..I swear. *smirk*

meridiantoo

03-07-2013 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sun (Post 762981)

No, no offense taken. I just wanted to respond...no worries.

:chef:

Anomaly

04-04-2013 02:54 PM

3 Scenarios in my life

When my first serious girlfriend and I broke up, we were both really poor, and we had this $150 strap-on that we both used. While we were arguing about who would keep it, because obviously we'd never use it on anyone else anyways (yeah right) she stole it and kept it. Now, I don't even remember the last time I strapped on, it was so long ago. I don't even like doing that any more, but I'm still mad at that Lorenna Bobbit move. I don't know why "Helium Heels" thought she had any right to it in the first place, but her and her new girlfriend used it, and that made me crazy at the time. I guess because we had to save up and go in together on it. It was something I worked a lot of minimum wage hours to obtain, and the idea that this new girl was now enjoying it... Oof, that was pretty rough.
My most long term relationship was with a girl who was really casually FTM, like, she wouldn't mind these pronouns I'm using, never changed her girl name, never made a big deal of it, just threw on a binder and went to work, and when we met, she already had all her parts. They were hers like mine are mine, and it didn't feel like my business to tell her to throw her parts away and get new ones just for me. And when we broke up, she didn't leave any parts behind.
And more recently, I dated a girl off and on for about a year. Her ex had kept her stuff, so she was unprepared, and I ended up buying her a rig, nothing too fancy but perfect for what I wanted. Now we're not seeing each other, and I still have the stuff I bought. She asked me once not to let anyone else use hers on me, not ever. I don't know why I still have it. I guess because I kinda don't care what she wants at this point, and that thing is nice and exactly what I want, and if I throw it away, I won't have anything in the case that I start seeing another unprepared butch or if I ever feel top-ish. I kept it because I thought I'd probably sleep with her again, but that has become a really bad idea that's never going to happen, so now I'm wondering the same thing, if it can be used again or if I should just toss it. I don't want to be rude.

Daktari

04-05-2013 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anomaly (Post 778088)

Your dollars, a 'rig' that you like; you get to keep it and choose who gets to use it. Simples.

Boots13

04-05-2013 09:07 AM

OK, since when are we owned by our cocks rather than the reverse?

My cock has no power or sway, unless I forfeit that to history. If my lover or I default to past memories staking claims on my cock or allow history to inhibit my/our performance then what exactly is it that’s so intricately attached to history? Why is the past MORE attached to my cock than how I am received by the woman I am with, TODAY ?

How can said cock wield disrespectful energy , devisive power, or passionate memories over me or her…how is it that it has the potential to create such conflict when beckoned for love, sex, play? Granted, history is significant, its the road we all took to get here, but is it more significant than the present, today, the fact that we're alive, breathing, wanting, needing, feeling ?

I identify with what is comfortable, what is received well, how she feels, and how I can drive her…with my butch cock…not my butch cock with history. My butch cock does not drive a barrier between us, unless one of us forfeits our power, our choice and our state of being.

Conversely, I have no qualms over using something that is comfortable and familiar to my lover…although I might stumble until I get the swing of it (nuk-nuk) , bring it…We’ll stumble together, hopefully laugh, enjoy the practice and then we’ll fuck like theres no tomorrow.

My point is, why are we giving cocks the power to respect or disrespect, the sway to hold past memories, the inability to release the past, or the mental torment of past action when it is not the thing that demonstrates those feelings and emotions, but rather the person wielding/receiving it. ???

Still trying to wrap my brains around this…please be kind in your response…because after reading every post and trying to identify with contrary opinions to my own really, I still don’t get it…new or used, tried and true or just ripped from the package (lol) isn’t it about honoring the present, about being in the moment with the one you’re with?

~ocean

04-05-2013 09:16 AM

ok wow boots u just said a lot ~~ in my own personal opinion ~ now I am the type of woman who never has and wont have casual sex ~ just not my thing ~ so speaking from an emotional aspect I was honored that hy bought new to be with me ~ if it is just casual sex then I can totally understand your reasoning ~ there is something very special about being new or experiencing something new w. the person you are in love with ~ I don't know the mind set of casual sex ,so I can't honestly comment . like I said this is MY own personal view . ~

Boots13

04-05-2013 09:25 AM

Hey Ocean - I absolutely respect your feelings and thank you for your response. I dont have casual sex. There is much emotion in what I do or who I'm with for whatever length of time we are together. So for me I dont feel casual about my interaction.

But I'm reading that not buying a new harness, cock would make your interaction feel casual or less than?

I absolutely dont want to get into a donneybrooke over this...but this is what I cant wrap my head around :seeingstars:

The_Lady_Snow

04-05-2013 09:33 AM

Some thoughts

I'm going to be honest reading people use the words "honor", "respect", and any other adjetive used to describe cock intent I tend to mentally shut off.. I have a hard time wrapping My mind around the continuos insinuation that just because some folks aren't buying new With each fuck or because some folks sex isn' attached to love that those same romanticized adjectives aren't ingrained in the same fashion..

Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock...

Food for thought...

The_Lady_Snow

04-05-2013 11:15 AM

Bingo!

In a not so parallel universe, people who are exercising their sexual desires are being assigned this similar type of wording to their characters. An example is women who are sexually empowered. Their choice to fuck because it's their body and choice are basically given the same adjectives that are being used on the non new cock folks.. That's what is grating my nerve.. It's the assigned ick factor, the shaming, value and the hierarchy. I honestly think this form of ingrained sexism bleeds into queer relationships .

I'm hoping it makes sense cause I had a hard time wording what kept me going "say what??"

CherylNYC

04-05-2013 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow (Post 778400)

...

Cocks don't come with ethics, such things are not included in their packaging. Honor, respect, dignity, transparency and so on come attached to those wielding the cock...

...

These two sentences are the perfect summation of my feelings on this subject. Brava!

princessbelle

04-05-2013 07:52 PM

I've never given this thought.

I have never asked "Hey, have you used that puppy with someone else before?"

That just blows my mind (tongue-in-cheek on that line)

I mean...IMO the cock is part of her/hym/him. Just like the nose, for example. Not an extension to be disposed of after a breakup. How callus, to me, that thought is.

I don't know bout ya'll, but i don't have a disposable vagaga. I don't have surgery to remove it and then surgery to get a new one, that's bright and shiny, when i change partners.

My personal private parts belong to me and me only. If i change partners, they stay mine. I see it the same way with cocks. No different. They are both real and are both part of who we are.

It is up to each person to decide when and if we should interchange pieces to ourselves. I would just never even think of a "new one". What is the point? Getting a facelift/boob job/cock replacement....these all under the same heading to me. Do what you want, it's your body.

That's my big ole idea anyway.

imperfect_cupcake

04-05-2013 08:12 PM

this arguement always goes this way.

that said, me personally:

when someone is shagging the hell out of me, the LAST thing I'm thinking about is "hmn, I wonder who they shagged with this before me... I wonderrrrr... hmmmnnnnnn"

what I am thinking is more along the lines of YES OH MY GOD DONT STOP

if I can actually focus on who they shagged before? Chances are the sex isn't that great or I'm not feeling to great.

If' I'm shagging someone with a toy, it's never with thoughts of "oooo yeah and then when I used this on so and so, boy they sure had the best vagina EVER"

wtf? no. I'm thinking of the clit/cock in front of me and having a party in my skull about how much fun I'm having RIGHT NOW.

So I honestly can't wrap my head around new toy every time.

that said, I'm a tart. Sooooo... sex toys do not get attached to any one single person in my head. ever. they are physical tubes that other people can slide their cocks into and shag me with if they haven't brought their own.

My bed is MY bed. And has seen many guests over the years. No one's memory is attached to it.

anyone hear about that story about the two monks and one carrys a woman across the river and drops her at the other side and they keep walkin' and the one monk says to the other, a bit of a way down the road "why did you carry her?? you shouldn't have touched her!" and the other monk says "I left her at the river, you are still carrying her"...? yeah. that.

Oh and when my wife fucked someone else and had an affair, lying behind my back? You bet I took her cock and chopped it into 7 peices. she didn't respect me OR our marriage so fuck showing a piece of non-feeling rubber respect. When she saw it she did get rather fucked off but did say "ok, fair enough. but honestly barb, how utterly lesbian of you."

which made me laugh.

Femminator

04-06-2013 05:37 PM

My wife is pretty attached to her cock. I would never expect her to toss out a part of herself, an expression of her sexuality, if she used it with another lover. I was non-monogamous before I met her, and my lovers and I would always use safer sex so I never really thought about it much until this thread.

Not only that, the biomales I have had as lovers never went out and got a new penis for me, we made due with the one they had.

Cid	04-09-2013 04:16 PM

I haven't been with a lot of different partners so maybe that's why I think differently, but I did have a problem with one partner that I had. She hated hearing about my ex in any way, shape or form. I couldn't talk about places that I had been to, concerts that I enjoyed or things that I did in the past if they included my ex.
However, it was ok for her to keep the part of her that involved her ex and their sex life. I didn't get how that was ok. To me, it wasn't.

Here's what I'd like to know. If a femme had her own cock (seriously, I hate that word, but it seems to be the most popular) would her butch partner wear it knowing someone else had worn it before?

I'm guessing not. And the butch that wore it before didn't even have it inserted into their body.

The_Lady_Snow

04-09-2013 04:27 PM

Thoughts

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cid (Post 780570)

Here's what I'd like to know. If a femme had her own cock (seriously, I hate that word, but it seems to be the most popular) would her butch partner wear it knowing someone else had worn it before?

.

I'm a fan of bringing my own toys to the proverbial fucking table... I don't see why there would be an issue.

s0litude

04-09-2013 04:34 PM

New Sex Partner = New Toys?

For me, absolutely! I can understand, being FTM myself, the attachment to a specific toy as being a "part" of you, but I also feel that associations and memories with a previous item would override any personal attachment to my cock that I might have developed over time. After all, you cannot get on with your future if you cannot get through your past.

Quite frankly, I just view it as a matter of respect for her and for what is developing between her and I that the new item is solely FOR HER, FOR US.

Plus, shopping for those new items can make for very interesting foreplay. ;)

s0litude

04-09-2013 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cid (Post 780570)

Here's what I'd like to know. If a femme had her own cock (seriously, I hate that word, but it seems to be the most popular) would her butch partner wear it knowing someone else had worn it before?

While I'd be okay with her speaking about her ex-- hell, that's part of your past, part of who you are and how you've been shaped over time,-- I wouldn't use someone else's cock. It's not a matter of where it's been or who's worn it, etc. It's not MINE-- mentally though, it would be like inviting someone else to the party if it weren't just hers and mine together. I think it boils down to how you personally view relationships.

pinkgeek

04-09-2013 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cid (Post 780570)

If a femme had her own cock (seriously, I hate that word, but it seems to be the most popular) would her butch partner wear it knowing someone else had worn it before?

Why do you hate that word..........

TheMerryFairy

04-09-2013 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cid (Post 780570)

Here's what I'd like to know. If a femme had her own cock (seriously, I hate that word, but it seems to be the most popular) would her butch partner wear it knowing someone else had worn it before?.

I would probably be the one wearing it, but that is just me. They can choose to but I wouldn't expect someone else to.

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